S'more Quotes that I Really Like

'Member a coupla posts ago, I transcribed that conversation from "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang?" Well I put that up as an away message along with a similar conversation from later in the movie. Harry tries to turn the tables on Gay Perry by correcting his grammar the same way that Harmony corrected his earlier on:

Perry: Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.
Harry: Bad.
Perry: Excuse me?
Harry: Sleep bad. Otherwise it makes it seem like the mechanism that allows you to sleep...
Perry: What, f**khead? Badly's an adverb. Who taught you grammar? Get out. Vanish.

Another words, if any of you try to get above yourselves and correct my grammar, you'll probably screw up, az don't even bother.

So one of my friends saw the quote in my away message, and he said it reminded him of a scene from the movie "With Honors." The following exchange takes place between Joe Pesci's character and a professor:

Simon: Which door do I leave from?
Professor Pitcannon: At Harvard we don't end our sentences with prepositions.
Simon: Well in that case, which door do I leave from, asshole?

I immediately put that up as another away message. Oh, it's a mere coincidence that both of those quotes have inappropriate language. As many of you know, I am in staunch opposition to filthy language of any kind, especially here. This is a family progrum. Anyway, I was inspired to put up these quotes because of a conversation I was having with a certain super heroine about apple pie. As everyone knows, I make the best apple pie this side of the East River, and I've recently been able to increase my output by purchasing an apple peeler/corer/slicer. I said that it was safer for me to use one of those than to use a knife because I'm no longer allowed around sharp things. This reminded me of a quip from "Whose Line is it Anyway" involving Wayne Brady, Drew Carey and the inimitable Ryan Stiles:

Drew: I'm giving you 1000 points for the zippers on your pants. What's that about?
Wayne: It's my tribute to Michael (Jackson)!
Drew: Hey, we should all get zippers on our pants if Wayne's gonna have 'em.
Ryan: They don't let me around zippers.

If any of you haven't seen the show, check out some episodes on peekvid.com. It's finally back up!