On the way downtown to work this morning, I was riding the A-train as I am wont to do, and over the PA system I hear "...Welcome back from your weekend. This is the downtown A experience..." Now when I first heard that, I was very pleased with how outstanding it was, and I couldn't wait to get to my computer so I could write about it. But then I thought, hold on, what if the guy just said "This is the downtown A express train," which clearly sounds similar? Then my readers would think I was a lunatic and probably make fun of me forever (which is not a dissimilar situation to the one in which I find myself with my brother, whose 1-12 DeShaws team beat my 7-5 Heights team in softball yesterday. Although I did hit 1 for 2 with a double and a walk for a BA of .500, an OBP of .667, a SLG of 1.000 and an OPS of 1.667. However, I did pop out for the last out of the game). Az I listened carefully for the announcement when it came next, and it turned out, to my immense pleasure, that I heard correctly the first time. Now obviously I wouldn't refer to my daily commute as an "experience" of any particular interest, but I found it highly entertaining all the same. I associate the word experience with an event that is unusual or extraordinary. For example, I always refer to getting ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery as an "ice cream experience." It's because it's unlike any other trip to get ice cream. You get to watch them mix in the toppings, but the ice cream doesn't melt because they do the mixing on a freezing rock. And when you give them a tip, they sing. Oh, and also the ice cream is really good. Now THAT'S an extraordinary experience. Riding the A-train is the very definition of commonplace.
Okay, now I haven't mentioned my Dvorak typing for a while, but since you asked, I'll tell you that it's going very well. I'm up to around 70 words per minute, az I'm inching my way up to where I was with Qwerty. I'm definitely noticing that it's much easier to type this way; I really barely have to move my fingers at all. Now when I watch someone else type Qwerty I definitely notice how hard they're working when they type. Anyway, you know how when people are typing quickly and not-so-carefully, like when they're IMing, they tend to spell things incorrectly all the time. Like they'll type something like "teh" instead of "the," or "goping" instead of "going," or "ewhat" instead of "what." You know what I'm talking about? Because of the arrangement of the keys, if you miss your button by a little bit and hit the button next to it at the same time, you'll end up putting an extra letter in here and there. Az people get used to these things because they see it so often. But since I'm typing Dvorak I write typos that look weird. Like instead of typing "going" I'll write "goidng," or instead of "what" I'll write "whtat." I might not have explained that very well at all, but what can you do? It is what it is.
That's okay if you don't get it; nothing can dampen my spirits today. I even called a girl a "primate" today, and she said that was so nice. I guess I just get into these moods sometimes. Even though Jaime and Kameron both lost in "Az You Think You Can Dance" last week, I'm still in an obscenely good mood. Maybe because we're rapidly approaching wedding season. I dunno. I just hope it lasts.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Sub-standard Subway Riding
Last night was my latest night since I started my current job. It started off innocently enough after work when I had an hour and a quarter to kill. Az I went over to Park Avenue Liquor and bought a nice bottle for my friend's aufruf, and then sat in Bryant Park reading Harry Potter for another half an hour. Then I walked over to Mendy's 34th street for a friend's birthday. Once that ended, at around 8:15, another friend, who incidentally had been sitting in Bryant Park reading Harry Potter, called me up to see if I wanted to go see the Harry Potter movie. Az we went, and the movie let out at around midnight. Once we were out, we headed to the A-train to get back up to the Heights. Luckily, one came pretty quickly, an we were well on our way to having a not-so-late night. But then, disaster struck. At 168th street, the PA system announced that this was the last stop, az we reluctantly got off and walked over to the 1-train. At this point we were pretty tired, and we (I) didn't notice that we were standing on the downtown track, az we watched two uptown trains go by and finally got on a downtown train. By the time we reached 157th street we realized our error. After waiting another 20 minutes our train finally came, and I ended up getting back to my apartment at about 1:30. I can't remember the last time I wore a suit and tie (and socks) for 17 hours straight; believe me, it's not so pleasant. Good thing my roommate wasn't awake and doesn't read my blog or have facebook, because otherwise he would know that I accidentally left my dirty, smelly socks on his desk chair. Okay...TMI...anyway...
I'm ashamed to say that this is not the first time I took the wrong train. Allow me to be self-effacing for a few short paragraphs, so that you can all laugh at me the next time you see me. I deserve it for forcing y'all to read my sports ramblings for the last coupla weeks. Enjoy. In reverse chronological order:
A few weeks ago, I was on the way back from work, and as usual, I took the B-train from 47-50th streets two stops to 59th street Columbus Circle. I walked across the platform intending to get on the A-train, but I completely and utterly forgot that the D-train runs on the same track. Az there I am, riding the D-train, rereading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on a hot, crowded train full of, erm, non-mosaic faithful (usually the second car on the A-train is full of tribe members), when we arrive at 167th street in the Bronx. I mean it wasn't a big deal; I just turned around, but it really was deathly hot. I got back on the Manhattan-bound D-train and got off at 145th street and waited for the A-train. the annoying part was that the A-train didn't come for like 15 minutes, and I was sweating like a motherf**ker in my suit. And then, to top it all off, the train that came wasn't air-conditioned. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore. That was really the only time I was on the wrong train all by myself. It's much easier to cope with these situations when you're with people, unless they're constantly busting your chops about being the dude who actually grew up in Manhattan and managed to get everyone lost. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I guess about a year and a half ago I met a friend for dinner down at Noah's Ark on the Lower East Side. The food was really not good; the country-fried steak was the driest piece of meat I ever had. Anyway, he had to go back to Riverdale, and I was going back to my parents' apartment on the Upper East Side, az I decided to ride the J or M train with him for a coupla stops and then transfer to the 6-train. Anyway, somehow we ended up on the wrong track and took the train one stop into Brooklyn. It was quite embarrassing, especially considering my aforementioned Manhattan roots, his major in Civil Engineering, and the fact that he works in Brooklyn.
Now these next two are the worst ones. My junior year of college (I believe), I went with some friends on a Saturday night to J2 for one of their birthdays. The birthday girl also invited some of her friends from nearby Stern College, az after we were through we walked them back to their dormitories because it was late. Now, there's no really good way to get from 37th street and 3rd avenue to 116th street and Broadway, az I was forced to improvise. We walked over to Grand Central Terminal and took the 7-train towards Times Square intending to transfer to the 1-train. However, for some reason, we got on the Queens-bound 7-train. We realized our error when we noticed that the train hadn't yet reached its first stop, which was supposed to be 5th avenue, a very quick stop. Az we reached the first stop in Queens and got off. We asked the station attendant what to do, and he said we should wait for the next train, and at the next stop we should transfer in the reverse direction. Of course, it would have been convenient if we had stayed on the train to begin with, because now we had to wait 15 minutes for another train, and then wait another 20 for the train in the reverse direction. Anyway, after all that insanity, we all got back to Columbia at like 4:30 am. At least that trip was fun.
My freshman year of college, a few weeks after the attacks of 9/11, I went with several friends to J2 (again). Now because of the attacks, all of the subways were screwed up, az on the way back to Columbia we took the 2 express train, which happened to be running on the local track. We reached 96th street still on the local track, az I suggested we just stay on the train until 116th street. Obviously, I was horribly wrong, and the next stop was 110th street and Lenox avenue. It would have been extremely bright if we had just gotten on the reverse train back to 96th street, but I insisted we just walk. Az I led everyone to 114th street so that we could turn westwards and go straight to Carman Hall on Broadway. But I forgot about Morningside Park! Few times in my life have I ever felt as uncomfortable as I did walking those few blocks towards the park. We arranged ourselves so that the men walked on the outside and the women (some of whom were in tears) walked on the inside. Seriously, after we arrived back safely, my roommate took it upon himself to do something special during his prayers.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed reading about my being an idiot. See, even we bloggers are fallible.
I'm ashamed to say that this is not the first time I took the wrong train. Allow me to be self-effacing for a few short paragraphs, so that you can all laugh at me the next time you see me. I deserve it for forcing y'all to read my sports ramblings for the last coupla weeks. Enjoy. In reverse chronological order:
A few weeks ago, I was on the way back from work, and as usual, I took the B-train from 47-50th streets two stops to 59th street Columbus Circle. I walked across the platform intending to get on the A-train, but I completely and utterly forgot that the D-train runs on the same track. Az there I am, riding the D-train, rereading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on a hot, crowded train full of, erm, non-mosaic faithful (usually the second car on the A-train is full of tribe members), when we arrive at 167th street in the Bronx. I mean it wasn't a big deal; I just turned around, but it really was deathly hot. I got back on the Manhattan-bound D-train and got off at 145th street and waited for the A-train. the annoying part was that the A-train didn't come for like 15 minutes, and I was sweating like a motherf**ker in my suit. And then, to top it all off, the train that came wasn't air-conditioned. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore. That was really the only time I was on the wrong train all by myself. It's much easier to cope with these situations when you're with people, unless they're constantly busting your chops about being the dude who actually grew up in Manhattan and managed to get everyone lost. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I guess about a year and a half ago I met a friend for dinner down at Noah's Ark on the Lower East Side. The food was really not good; the country-fried steak was the driest piece of meat I ever had. Anyway, he had to go back to Riverdale, and I was going back to my parents' apartment on the Upper East Side, az I decided to ride the J or M train with him for a coupla stops and then transfer to the 6-train. Anyway, somehow we ended up on the wrong track and took the train one stop into Brooklyn. It was quite embarrassing, especially considering my aforementioned Manhattan roots, his major in Civil Engineering, and the fact that he works in Brooklyn.
Now these next two are the worst ones. My junior year of college (I believe), I went with some friends on a Saturday night to J2 for one of their birthdays. The birthday girl also invited some of her friends from nearby Stern College, az after we were through we walked them back to their dormitories because it was late. Now, there's no really good way to get from 37th street and 3rd avenue to 116th street and Broadway, az I was forced to improvise. We walked over to Grand Central Terminal and took the 7-train towards Times Square intending to transfer to the 1-train. However, for some reason, we got on the Queens-bound 7-train. We realized our error when we noticed that the train hadn't yet reached its first stop, which was supposed to be 5th avenue, a very quick stop. Az we reached the first stop in Queens and got off. We asked the station attendant what to do, and he said we should wait for the next train, and at the next stop we should transfer in the reverse direction. Of course, it would have been convenient if we had stayed on the train to begin with, because now we had to wait 15 minutes for another train, and then wait another 20 for the train in the reverse direction. Anyway, after all that insanity, we all got back to Columbia at like 4:30 am. At least that trip was fun.
My freshman year of college, a few weeks after the attacks of 9/11, I went with several friends to J2 (again). Now because of the attacks, all of the subways were screwed up, az on the way back to Columbia we took the 2 express train, which happened to be running on the local track. We reached 96th street still on the local track, az I suggested we just stay on the train until 116th street. Obviously, I was horribly wrong, and the next stop was 110th street and Lenox avenue. It would have been extremely bright if we had just gotten on the reverse train back to 96th street, but I insisted we just walk. Az I led everyone to 114th street so that we could turn westwards and go straight to Carman Hall on Broadway. But I forgot about Morningside Park! Few times in my life have I ever felt as uncomfortable as I did walking those few blocks towards the park. We arranged ourselves so that the men walked on the outside and the women (some of whom were in tears) walked on the inside. Seriously, after we arrived back safely, my roommate took it upon himself to do something special during his prayers.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed reading about my being an idiot. See, even we bloggers are fallible.
Friday, July 20, 2007
A Long Post Zecher L'Mikdash
No, I'm not going to be writing a depressing post; I just thought it would be unseemly to go through this sad period in our history without at least reminding everyone (myself included) that despite how awesome our lives are (and they are), we mustn't place anything above our memory of Jerusalem the Holy City.
With that bit of important business out of the way, I'd like to turn my attention to a few far less important (though no less inspiring) items about which I've been musing for the past couple of days. There are very few worldwide holidays; most holidays are confined to a religion or a country, but tomorrow, Saturday, July 21st, 2007, might just transcend all other days. Yes, my friends, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" hits bookshelves and delivery trucks at midnight! Who could have known that in the era of ipods (need a new one) and iphones (I'm not cool enough) and HDTV (awesome) and DVR (don't know how I lived without it), that the most exciting product available to consumers (a claim based on no statistical research whatsoever) would be a mere book. A collection of words. Strings of letters printed on recyled paper. Things that have existed for millenia (I'm so freakin excited that I'm typing in sentence fragments). Honestly, I'm beside myself. Seriously, the last author to have such an effect on so many people was D (of J, E, P, and D fame), and his (their?) existence is merely conjecture. J.K. Rowling is actually a) the richest woman in the United Kingdom, and b) G-d (also conjecture). It wouldn't surprise me to learn that in reality, Ms. Rowling is creating an army with which she can ascend up to Shamayim and supplant the Big Man as the supreme Power in the universe, and that her books are a source of spreading unspeakable evil among the Earth's inhabitants. Now, I'm clearly just rambling.
Now just imagining the crowds of people who will be waiting outside local Barnes and Noble'ses starting at, oh around...now, gives me the jibblies. It reminds me of an interesting phenomenon common to New York City. Just yesterday evening I was walking with one of my roommates to meet some friends for dinner in midtown, and not once, but at least twice did the following happen: pedestrians just decided to stop walking and stand in the middle of the sidewalk. Or even worse, sometimes people are just standing on the side of the street talking on the phone or tying their shoes, what have you (I never say that), and then without even looking at who's coming they re-enter pedestrian traffic. These two scenarios are equivalent to driving a car without rear-view mirrors! Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue if a driver just stopped in the middle of the road or just pulled out of parking with absolutely no regard for the cars behind her?
Now, I'm a man (215 pounds worth, if you read my last post), and manly men like certain things, like sports. During the year (i.e. when it's not summer), there are other things to watch on television besides sports. This is true for a couple of reasons: a) Football, Basketball, and Hockey aren't on TV every day. Az even if I were to follow my local teams in each of those sports, I would still have free nights. b) Most of the big TV shows are on during the year, such as Lost, 24, House, and Grey's Anatomy. The reason I mention this is that last night I was watching the results portion of Az You Think You Can Dance, and my roommate decided to call my manhood into question. My response was as follows: Life for a man isn't always about sports and steak and money; sometimes we need balance. Watching a show like Az You Think You Can Dance or Grey's anatomy provides a good change of pace. Besides, I might have a teensy weensy crush on Kameron in addition to my much larger crush on Jaime.
On the topic of Kameron, since when did people start spelling normal names strangely? I grew up with names like James Cameron, and Cameron Diaz, and Candace Cameron, and Mike Cameron, and the DeCameron. Where did this K business come from? Who does Kameron Loe (SP for the Texas Rangers) think he is? And there are more examples. I grew up with people named Karen. Nowadays you see Karin, and Caren, and Caryn. Also, how many different ways are there to spell the name Antoine? There are athletes out there named Antwan, Antawn, Antowain, and the bizarrely weird Anquan. Anyone have more examples, send 'em in.
And finally, what 9-days-appropriate post would be complete without a sports rant. Someone recently asked me to join his fantasy football keeper league. A keeper league means that at the end of the season each team owner gets to keep a certain amount of players through next year. I strenuously, but politely declined the invitation because I think of keeper leagues as too much of a crapshoot. People always decide to keep rookies, or even players not yet in the league so as to get a leg up once they arrive on the scene. But Moneyball, my bible of sports knowledge, even acknowledges that scouting is an imperfect science, and most of the time players don't turn out to be as good as their potential. I dunno, I just feel like I'd be using the wrong tools to evaluate players, and the other owners would be more successful than me just due to dumb luck. I just don't think my mind is equipped with the right tools to successfully play fantasy sports in general. I'll give you an example. Last night my roommate (who is in first place in our fantasy baseball league) asked me (currently in 6th place out of 8) which of his players I want in exchange for either Jimmy Rollins or Chase Utley. Thinking I could cleverly out-maneouver him by vastly overstating the value of my players, I politely perused his lineup, which was ripe for the pilfering. Upon doing so, it occurred to me that my team was ever so much better than his. In fact, I claimed that my team would absolutly mop the floor with his on the field of play. See, this is the way my mind works; I can't determine which players are the most valuable in terms of fantasy statistics. I think I’m actually gonna go ahead and look at our players’ real stats to which I have access on baseball-reference.com, just so I could have some statistical data to support my claim. I’ll get on that once I’m through here. Cool. Enjoy the weekend everyone. I hope it’s Potterific.
With that bit of important business out of the way, I'd like to turn my attention to a few far less important (though no less inspiring) items about which I've been musing for the past couple of days. There are very few worldwide holidays; most holidays are confined to a religion or a country, but tomorrow, Saturday, July 21st, 2007, might just transcend all other days. Yes, my friends, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" hits bookshelves and delivery trucks at midnight! Who could have known that in the era of ipods (need a new one) and iphones (I'm not cool enough) and HDTV (awesome) and DVR (don't know how I lived without it), that the most exciting product available to consumers (a claim based on no statistical research whatsoever) would be a mere book. A collection of words. Strings of letters printed on recyled paper. Things that have existed for millenia (I'm so freakin excited that I'm typing in sentence fragments). Honestly, I'm beside myself. Seriously, the last author to have such an effect on so many people was D (of J, E, P, and D fame), and his (their?) existence is merely conjecture. J.K. Rowling is actually a) the richest woman in the United Kingdom, and b) G-d (also conjecture). It wouldn't surprise me to learn that in reality, Ms. Rowling is creating an army with which she can ascend up to Shamayim and supplant the Big Man as the supreme Power in the universe, and that her books are a source of spreading unspeakable evil among the Earth's inhabitants. Now, I'm clearly just rambling.
Now just imagining the crowds of people who will be waiting outside local Barnes and Noble'ses starting at, oh around...now, gives me the jibblies. It reminds me of an interesting phenomenon common to New York City. Just yesterday evening I was walking with one of my roommates to meet some friends for dinner in midtown, and not once, but at least twice did the following happen: pedestrians just decided to stop walking and stand in the middle of the sidewalk. Or even worse, sometimes people are just standing on the side of the street talking on the phone or tying their shoes, what have you (I never say that), and then without even looking at who's coming they re-enter pedestrian traffic. These two scenarios are equivalent to driving a car without rear-view mirrors! Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue if a driver just stopped in the middle of the road or just pulled out of parking with absolutely no regard for the cars behind her?
Now, I'm a man (215 pounds worth, if you read my last post), and manly men like certain things, like sports. During the year (i.e. when it's not summer), there are other things to watch on television besides sports. This is true for a couple of reasons: a) Football, Basketball, and Hockey aren't on TV every day. Az even if I were to follow my local teams in each of those sports, I would still have free nights. b) Most of the big TV shows are on during the year, such as Lost, 24, House, and Grey's Anatomy. The reason I mention this is that last night I was watching the results portion of Az You Think You Can Dance, and my roommate decided to call my manhood into question. My response was as follows: Life for a man isn't always about sports and steak and money; sometimes we need balance. Watching a show like Az You Think You Can Dance or Grey's anatomy provides a good change of pace. Besides, I might have a teensy weensy crush on Kameron in addition to my much larger crush on Jaime.
On the topic of Kameron, since when did people start spelling normal names strangely? I grew up with names like James Cameron, and Cameron Diaz, and Candace Cameron, and Mike Cameron, and the DeCameron. Where did this K business come from? Who does Kameron Loe (SP for the Texas Rangers) think he is? And there are more examples. I grew up with people named Karen. Nowadays you see Karin, and Caren, and Caryn. Also, how many different ways are there to spell the name Antoine? There are athletes out there named Antwan, Antawn, Antowain, and the bizarrely weird Anquan. Anyone have more examples, send 'em in.
And finally, what 9-days-appropriate post would be complete without a sports rant. Someone recently asked me to join his fantasy football keeper league. A keeper league means that at the end of the season each team owner gets to keep a certain amount of players through next year. I strenuously, but politely declined the invitation because I think of keeper leagues as too much of a crapshoot. People always decide to keep rookies, or even players not yet in the league so as to get a leg up once they arrive on the scene. But Moneyball, my bible of sports knowledge, even acknowledges that scouting is an imperfect science, and most of the time players don't turn out to be as good as their potential. I dunno, I just feel like I'd be using the wrong tools to evaluate players, and the other owners would be more successful than me just due to dumb luck. I just don't think my mind is equipped with the right tools to successfully play fantasy sports in general. I'll give you an example. Last night my roommate (who is in first place in our fantasy baseball league) asked me (currently in 6th place out of 8) which of his players I want in exchange for either Jimmy Rollins or Chase Utley. Thinking I could cleverly out-maneouver him by vastly overstating the value of my players, I politely perused his lineup, which was ripe for the pilfering. Upon doing so, it occurred to me that my team was ever so much better than his. In fact, I claimed that my team would absolutly mop the floor with his on the field of play. See, this is the way my mind works; I can't determine which players are the most valuable in terms of fantasy statistics. I think I’m actually gonna go ahead and look at our players’ real stats to which I have access on baseball-reference.com, just so I could have some statistical data to support my claim. I’ll get on that once I’m through here. Cool. Enjoy the weekend everyone. I hope it’s Potterific.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Fine, No Sports This Time (Much...)
Since I've gotten yelled at by no fewer than three people (comprising a significant portion of my reader base) for writing about sports too much, I've decided to stop posting altogether; I mean I've decided to wait until I had something meaningful to write, which was non-sports related.
Anyway, on Sunday I went to the Verizon Wireless store to cancel my mom's service and to exchange my new phone for another one. I originally got a white Moto KRZR, but I decided I didn't want to get stuck with it for two years; that's a long commitment! Az I traded it in for an LG VX8700, the prom queen of cell phones. Seriously, in the catalog they had at the store, they ascribed each phone to a different type of person. The RAZR MAXX is for the straight-A student, and that fancy LG TV phone is for the athlete / jock. My phone is for the prom queen. It's okay, I'm secure with my masculinity. It's hard to be insecure when you're carrying around 215 pounds of man.
Az there I am, at the counter in the Verizon store, giving the service rep an extremely hard time with my carefully worded, cleverly delivered questions about cancelling Mom's service and exchanging my phone. Meanwhile, things were made slightly more difficult by the fact that we purchased our plans and phones via the internet, and therefore, my options for handling things in the store were limited. I won't bore you with more details, but let's just say that while I was pestering the service folks, I was behaving in my usual friendly, engaging, joking manner. This made all the difference to the reps. I could tell because they were being receptive to my bottomless supply of cheer, so much so that the woman even waived the surcharge for transferring my 250+ phone numbers from my KRZR to the LG. The moral of the story is that one smile can be a catalyst for changing someone's outlook on their day/life. I'm not saying that just flashing my (mother of) pearly whites is enough to effect a grand change (I'm not that cocky goddamn it. See Hedberg, Mitch in "Mitch All Together."), but it certainly couldn't hurt.
And that's as long as I could last without writing about sports, just two measly paragraphs. It's okay, I'm not gonna write a lengthy discourse on the pros and cons of swinging on 3-0; I'm just gonna show a brilliant trade I made a few weeks ago in one of my fantasy leagues. On June 20th I traded Andy Pettitte straight up for Carlos Pena. Since the players were officially added to our respective rosters, these are the stats both players have posted:
Pettitte: 12.1 IP, 18 ER, 10 Ks, 2 BBs, 13.14 ERA
Pena: 38 AB, 11 Runs, 2 2B, 4 HR, 12 RBI, 10 BB, 9 Ks, .368 BA, .500 OBP, .760 SLG, 1.260 OPS.
I think I'm a genius. That is all.
Anyway, on Sunday I went to the Verizon Wireless store to cancel my mom's service and to exchange my new phone for another one. I originally got a white Moto KRZR, but I decided I didn't want to get stuck with it for two years; that's a long commitment! Az I traded it in for an LG VX8700, the prom queen of cell phones. Seriously, in the catalog they had at the store, they ascribed each phone to a different type of person. The RAZR MAXX is for the straight-A student, and that fancy LG TV phone is for the athlete / jock. My phone is for the prom queen. It's okay, I'm secure with my masculinity. It's hard to be insecure when you're carrying around 215 pounds of man.
Az there I am, at the counter in the Verizon store, giving the service rep an extremely hard time with my carefully worded, cleverly delivered questions about cancelling Mom's service and exchanging my phone. Meanwhile, things were made slightly more difficult by the fact that we purchased our plans and phones via the internet, and therefore, my options for handling things in the store were limited. I won't bore you with more details, but let's just say that while I was pestering the service folks, I was behaving in my usual friendly, engaging, joking manner. This made all the difference to the reps. I could tell because they were being receptive to my bottomless supply of cheer, so much so that the woman even waived the surcharge for transferring my 250+ phone numbers from my KRZR to the LG. The moral of the story is that one smile can be a catalyst for changing someone's outlook on their day/life. I'm not saying that just flashing my (mother of) pearly whites is enough to effect a grand change (I'm not that cocky goddamn it. See Hedberg, Mitch in "Mitch All Together."), but it certainly couldn't hurt.
And that's as long as I could last without writing about sports, just two measly paragraphs. It's okay, I'm not gonna write a lengthy discourse on the pros and cons of swinging on 3-0; I'm just gonna show a brilliant trade I made a few weeks ago in one of my fantasy leagues. On June 20th I traded Andy Pettitte straight up for Carlos Pena. Since the players were officially added to our respective rosters, these are the stats both players have posted:
Pettitte: 12.1 IP, 18 ER, 10 Ks, 2 BBs, 13.14 ERA
Pena: 38 AB, 11 Runs, 2 2B, 4 HR, 12 RBI, 10 BB, 9 Ks, .368 BA, .500 OBP, .760 SLG, 1.260 OPS.
I think I'm a genius. That is all.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Yeah, Sorry, More Baseball
The purpose of this post is to shed some light on a few more baseball points. Sorry about all the sports, but I think I need to get my points across. Besides, now that I'm working, I don't really have as much time to get into any kooky situations. Az please bear with me whilst I bombard you with some more baseball chit-chat. Let's get started.
Firstly, I want to discuss strikeouts. At the beginning of this season, the cover story on espn.com one day was about Ryan Howard, the reigning National League MVP. Here's the text of the blurb: "So, how did Ryan Howard go from 151 Ks in 2003 to 58 HRs in 2006?" Our colleagues over at firejoemorgan.com hastily provided us with an answer: "By striking out even more. Howard struck out 181 times last year. And was awesome." Another words, a player who strikes out a lot is not necessarily a poor hitter. Obviously, it is bad when a hitter strikes out, however, there is much to be said about a hitter with many strikeouts:
-He tends to see a lot of pitches. The only way a batter strikes out is if he first has two strikes against him. It's usually the most patient hitters who run deep counts that strike out a lot because they often find themselves in two strike counts. These hitters, while they tend to have low batting averages, also tend to walk a lot. Let's look at the top five strikeout hitters in the league this year: Adam Dunn: 103 Ks, .260 AVG, and 43 BBs. Ryan Howard: 95 Ks, .256 AVG, 52 BBs. Dan Uggla: 94 Ks, .249 AVG, 35 BBs. Grady Sizemore: 90 Ks, .283 AVG, 54 BBs. And Andruw Jones: 87 Ks, .204 AVG, 42 BBs. Four of those guys (not Uggla) are in the top 30 in the league in walks, and two of them are in the top ten.
-The other good thing about seeing a lot of pitches is that the hitter gets to see everything the pitcher has in his arsenal. He can transmit a lot of information to his teammates.
-Also, the more pitches the pitcher throws, the faster he is likely to tire and exit the game, leaving the outcome in the hands of the bullpen.
-Finally, when players see a lot of pitches and are patient, they are usually waiting for the best pitch to hit. This is demonstrated by the fact that each of those five guys are in the top 25 in the league in Home Runs.
Az yes, a strikeout is not a good thing to do, but one certainly cannot determine that a player is a poor hitter because he strikes out a lot. In fact, it appears that some of the best hitters in the league strike out a lot. Now I want to look at the other side of the coin. Obviously, the best thing a pitcher can do is strike a hitter out. Striking out a hitter is very safe, because there's no chance for a fielding error, and base runners don't get an opportunity to advance. I would say that it's rare for a pitcher to be highly successful without striking out his fair share of hitters. Let's take a look at this stat: the top eight strikeout pitchers in the league all have ERAs under 4.00, and they are all at least two games over .500.
Here's the point: Hitters who strike out a lot are usually not poor hitters and often are very good hitters. Pitchers who strike out a lot of batters are usually the best pitchers in the league. Again: Strikeouts: for pitchers = great, for hitters = not that bad.
Moving right along, over Shabbat, one of my new readers approached me and asked what I thought was the most beautiful play in baseball. He posits that a well executed squeeze play is the most beautiful. Now, I still have to think about it some more, but here's a few I came up with:
-I love seeing a textbook 4-6-3 double play. Even more so than a 6-4-3 or a 5-4-3.
-I think a nice cutoff from the outfield to home plate can be really awesome. Watching the infielder receive the ball and quickly turn around and throw home is really cool.
Since my last post, two National League all-star pitchers had to withdraw from the game, az Tony LaRussa, the manager of the NL team, had to select two replacements. Did he read my article to help him decide whom to pick? Certainly not; he went with two famous guys, Roy Oswalt and Brandon Webb. Who the hell ever heard of John Maine? (Btw, as my brother so astutely reminded me. Maine is NOT in fact the only player ever with the same name as a state. However, excluding Maryland Dykes Potter, who only pitched two innings, Maine is the only pitcher with the same name as a state.) Just for fun, and because I hate Tony LaRussa, let's decide how much of a moron he is and compare the stats.
Oswalt: 3.52 ERA, 89 Ks, 6.26 K/9, 2.07 K/BB, 1.39 WHIP, .328 OBP against, .400 SLG against, and .728 OPS against. Also, Oswalt has given up the 3rd most hits and the 18th most walks in all of baseball.
Webb: 3.37 ERA, 112 Ks, 7.70 K/9, 2.38 K/BB, 1.27 WHIP, .312 OBP against, .354 SLG against, .663 OPS against.
Maine: 2.71 ERA, 93 Ks, 7.63 K/9, 2.33 K/BB, 1.14 WHIP, .285 OBP against, .343 SLG against, .622 OPS against.
This looks quite clear to me; John Maine is getting royally shafted. There are those who might argue that since the All-Star Game "counts," in that the winning league gets home field advantage in the World Series, the manager should select the pitchers who will give them the best chance to win. But if that's the case, then why should fans be allowed to vote at all. What if all the Yankees and Red Sox fans got together and decided to vote for all the worst players in the National League? How does this make any sense. Either it should be a game just for the fans and it shouldn't count for anything, or if they want it to count, they should take the voting out of the fans' hands. The worst thing is that a lot of sports writers and analysts will use all-star appearances as a statistic for determining Hall of Fame status. They'll say like "oh, this guy was a 13 time all-star, az he should be in the Hall of Fame." How can that be a valid statement? Why don't they just let the fans vote on who should get enshrined in Cooperstown. The whole thing doesn't make any sense.
Okay people. Thanks for bearing with me through another long post. I could use an all-star break myself.
Firstly, I want to discuss strikeouts. At the beginning of this season, the cover story on espn.com one day was about Ryan Howard, the reigning National League MVP. Here's the text of the blurb: "So, how did Ryan Howard go from 151 Ks in 2003 to 58 HRs in 2006?" Our colleagues over at firejoemorgan.com hastily provided us with an answer: "By striking out even more. Howard struck out 181 times last year. And was awesome." Another words, a player who strikes out a lot is not necessarily a poor hitter. Obviously, it is bad when a hitter strikes out, however, there is much to be said about a hitter with many strikeouts:
-He tends to see a lot of pitches. The only way a batter strikes out is if he first has two strikes against him. It's usually the most patient hitters who run deep counts that strike out a lot because they often find themselves in two strike counts. These hitters, while they tend to have low batting averages, also tend to walk a lot. Let's look at the top five strikeout hitters in the league this year: Adam Dunn: 103 Ks, .260 AVG, and 43 BBs. Ryan Howard: 95 Ks, .256 AVG, 52 BBs. Dan Uggla: 94 Ks, .249 AVG, 35 BBs. Grady Sizemore: 90 Ks, .283 AVG, 54 BBs. And Andruw Jones: 87 Ks, .204 AVG, 42 BBs. Four of those guys (not Uggla) are in the top 30 in the league in walks, and two of them are in the top ten.
-The other good thing about seeing a lot of pitches is that the hitter gets to see everything the pitcher has in his arsenal. He can transmit a lot of information to his teammates.
-Also, the more pitches the pitcher throws, the faster he is likely to tire and exit the game, leaving the outcome in the hands of the bullpen.
-Finally, when players see a lot of pitches and are patient, they are usually waiting for the best pitch to hit. This is demonstrated by the fact that each of those five guys are in the top 25 in the league in Home Runs.
Az yes, a strikeout is not a good thing to do, but one certainly cannot determine that a player is a poor hitter because he strikes out a lot. In fact, it appears that some of the best hitters in the league strike out a lot. Now I want to look at the other side of the coin. Obviously, the best thing a pitcher can do is strike a hitter out. Striking out a hitter is very safe, because there's no chance for a fielding error, and base runners don't get an opportunity to advance. I would say that it's rare for a pitcher to be highly successful without striking out his fair share of hitters. Let's take a look at this stat: the top eight strikeout pitchers in the league all have ERAs under 4.00, and they are all at least two games over .500.
Here's the point: Hitters who strike out a lot are usually not poor hitters and often are very good hitters. Pitchers who strike out a lot of batters are usually the best pitchers in the league. Again: Strikeouts: for pitchers = great, for hitters = not that bad.
Moving right along, over Shabbat, one of my new readers approached me and asked what I thought was the most beautiful play in baseball. He posits that a well executed squeeze play is the most beautiful. Now, I still have to think about it some more, but here's a few I came up with:
-I love seeing a textbook 4-6-3 double play. Even more so than a 6-4-3 or a 5-4-3.
-I think a nice cutoff from the outfield to home plate can be really awesome. Watching the infielder receive the ball and quickly turn around and throw home is really cool.
Since my last post, two National League all-star pitchers had to withdraw from the game, az Tony LaRussa, the manager of the NL team, had to select two replacements. Did he read my article to help him decide whom to pick? Certainly not; he went with two famous guys, Roy Oswalt and Brandon Webb. Who the hell ever heard of John Maine? (Btw, as my brother so astutely reminded me. Maine is NOT in fact the only player ever with the same name as a state. However, excluding Maryland Dykes Potter, who only pitched two innings, Maine is the only pitcher with the same name as a state.) Just for fun, and because I hate Tony LaRussa, let's decide how much of a moron he is and compare the stats.
Oswalt: 3.52 ERA, 89 Ks, 6.26 K/9, 2.07 K/BB, 1.39 WHIP, .328 OBP against, .400 SLG against, and .728 OPS against. Also, Oswalt has given up the 3rd most hits and the 18th most walks in all of baseball.
Webb: 3.37 ERA, 112 Ks, 7.70 K/9, 2.38 K/BB, 1.27 WHIP, .312 OBP against, .354 SLG against, .663 OPS against.
Maine: 2.71 ERA, 93 Ks, 7.63 K/9, 2.33 K/BB, 1.14 WHIP, .285 OBP against, .343 SLG against, .622 OPS against.
This looks quite clear to me; John Maine is getting royally shafted. There are those who might argue that since the All-Star Game "counts," in that the winning league gets home field advantage in the World Series, the manager should select the pitchers who will give them the best chance to win. But if that's the case, then why should fans be allowed to vote at all. What if all the Yankees and Red Sox fans got together and decided to vote for all the worst players in the National League? How does this make any sense. Either it should be a game just for the fans and it shouldn't count for anything, or if they want it to count, they should take the voting out of the fans' hands. The worst thing is that a lot of sports writers and analysts will use all-star appearances as a statistic for determining Hall of Fame status. They'll say like "oh, this guy was a 13 time all-star, az he should be in the Hall of Fame." How can that be a valid statement? Why don't they just let the fans vote on who should get enshrined in Cooperstown. The whole thing doesn't make any sense.
Okay people. Thanks for bearing with me through another long post. I could use an all-star break myself.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I Can Be a Real Sports Writer If I Want
Welcome to the delightful time of year when the All-Star selections have been made, and sports writers get to express their (usually foolish) opinions regarding who shouldn't have made it who should have. Now, a lot of the time, writers like to be controversial because it generates publicity. I obviously am not trying to garner any special recognition; in fact, most of my readers hate when I write about sports. Well, it's baseball season, az tough noogies. Here are a couple of parameters I used to create my list (read: spreadsheet, which took like 3 hours to make):
- All of the stats are current as of the first day of July, 2007.
- I kept the rosters the same size, and did my best to replace players with other players who play similar positions.
- I included the final player for whom the fans get to vote after the preliminary all-star selections are made.
- When it came to making my decisions, I didn't even look at these statistics: RBI, Runs, Batting Average, Wins, and Saves.
- In accordance with the Moneyball doctrine, that the worst thing a player can do on a baseball field is make an out, I made On-base Percentage the single most important statistic on my list. In fact, it says somewhere in the book that OBP should be worth around three times as much as Slugging Percentage, az OPS really shouldn't be a straight sum of OBP and SLG. Az what I did was multiply OBP by three and then add that to SLG, and for the purposes of this post, I named that OPS2. Very good players tend to approach a 2.000 OPS2, just for a frame of reference. I'm just trying to do the best I can with the tools available to me. Hey, if I get enough readers, maybe I'll ask that some of you contribute to my baseballprospectus.com fund so I can look up real sabermetric statistics like EqA and VORP.
Anyway, without further adieu, I present to you my all-star snub list. Let's start with the American League:
-Ivan Rodriguez, Catcher, Detroit Tigers: Guh, even his traditional stats are pedestrian, .280 BA, 8 HR, 43 RsBI. According to my stats, he is the single worst position player on my entire list of 53 players. Since when did the Detroit Tigers fans have so much sway over the all-star voting? Did they even realize that Pudge has only four walks this year? FOUR?!?!?! His OBP is a heroic .293! The next lowest OBP on my list is .314, and that's very low for my taste. It goes without saying that his OPS is the lowest on my American League list, and his OPS2 (1.323) is the lowest on the entire list. Pudge, you just don't belong here anymore; please leave.
...should be replaced by...
Kevin Youkilis, 1B, Boston Red Sox: Now this wasn't even fair, because Big Papi was on the ballot at 1B, az the GGoW (Greek God of Walks) didn't even appear on there, az fans didn't even have an opportunity to vote for him. For a power position his stats aren't amazing, but screw the old stats, and lets look at the important ones. He's tied for fifth in the AL in OBP on my list and has a respectable SLG north of .500 resulting in a very nice OPS of .924, and an OPS2 of 1.762. Also, just as a side note, two weeks ago on Firejoemorgan.com, they put a link to Youkilis's DT card on baseballprospectus.com. The URL for each player uses a code for each player's name, the first five letters of his last name followed by the first two letters of his first name. Az Kevin Youkilis becomes "youkike." Don't worry; they have since changed the URL code to "youki________ke."
-Placido Polanco, 2B, Detroit Tigers: This is really a shame because he's really having a fine season. He's batting .330, which means diddly-poo on offense, except for the fact that it means his OBP is at least .330. His OBP is in fact .378, but his SLG is only .421 because he only has 22 extra-base hits (2 HR in 309 ABs) out of his 102. I really don't think anyone with an OPS of below .800 should be on an all-star team.
...should be replaced by...
B.J. Upton, 2B, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: His candidacy for the all-star team was hurt by his stint on the disabled list, but I think he has accrued enough raw stats to be eligible. His OBP (.396) and SLG (.545) make for an outstanding OPS (.941) and OPS2 (1.733) for a 2nd baseman. But I think that his production, 26 extra-base hits with nine HRs in 200 at-bats should definitely have attracted more attention. He even has 13 SBs in 18 attempts. Give the kid a chance.
-Michael Young, SS, Texas Rangers: What on Earth is he doing here? Honestly, if you had to have one Ranger an the all-star team (and you do), take Eric Gagne. I'm not saying he should be in, I'm just saying he would be a better selection from the Rangers. Honestly, he has zero all-star caliber statistics. He has a low OBP (.343), a low SLG (.400), not many walks (24), and few extra base hits (27). One can expect such a stat line from a speedy base stealer, but he only has six steals. Michael Young, we have to let you go.
...should be replaced by...
Carlos Pena, 1B, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: He also suffered because he wasn't on the ballot and didn't have a ton of at-bats (207). However, this did not prevent him from having the highest OPS of any first baseman in the American League (.984). He's hitting a ton of extra-base hits (31 out of 58, including 18 HRs), and walking like crazy (31). If one were to project his stats over a full season, his line would look like this: 44 HR, 112 RsBI, and 100 Runs. Even fans of conventional stats couldn't ignore that. Besides, he's a moneyball guy.
- Carl Crawford, CF, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: See, they keep picking the wrong guys from each team. Crawford is a great player, and he's exciting, but he just doesn't have the numbers this year. He's not turning out to be the 30/30 guy he's expected to be; he has only six HRs this year. He gets helped out by the fact that he has 27 other extra-base hits (19 doubles and 8 triples), but combined with a low OBP (.339), his OPS is sub-par (.794). That's just too low.
...should be replaced by...
Curtis Granderson, CF, Detroit Tigers: Geez, I didn't even realize that Curt was having a monster year. He has a ridiculous amount of extra-base hits (48), including 11 HRs, 22 doubles, and 15(!) triples. The only thing really hurting him is his low OBP (.343, OPS2 = 1.592), but I think his SLG (.563) more than makes up for it. Also, he has 9 SBs without getting caught once.
- Torii Hunter, CF, Minnesota Twins: He was really the hardest to criticize, because he has compiled some impressive numbers this season, 17 HRs, .550 SLG, .894 OPS. But I just don't think he walks enough (17, .344 OBP), demonstrating a lack of discipline at the plate. An all-star in this league needs to do better. Additionally, and I think this was the clincher, weak as it may be, Hunter is actually hurting his team when he steals bases; he has 11 SBs in 16 attempts. As I said, this was the toughest decision to make, but I think the player replacing him deserves the spot more.
...should be replaced by...
Gary Sheffield, DH/LF, Detroit Tigers: His raw stats compare nicely with Hunter's, 18 HR, .535 SLG, 11 SB, but he gets on base a ton more than Hunter (.401 OBP). His OPS2 just blows Hunter's out of the water (1.733 to 1.582). I wish I had access to fielding statistics because I'd love to see if Hunter's FRAA might be enough to tip the balance.
AL hitting notes: -Alex Rodriguez has the highest OPS2 on the AL list (1.955).
-Grady Sizemore has 50 walks, tied for 2nd in the AL; he had 78 all of last season.
Onto the pitchers!
-John Lackey, SP, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: This stinks, because he's pitching really well this year. A 3.04 ERA is nothing to scoff at these days, especially in the AL. But honestly, I really think he's getting lucky. I wish I had access to BABIP stats, but I'll just have to work with what I have. The beef I have with him are his WHIP, walks and strikeouts. His 1.19 WHIP is respectable, but it's the second highest of any AL all-star. And I don't think he strikes out enough guys (87) to justify the amount of guys he walks (32). His K/BB rate of 2.72 is just too low for an all-star.
...should be replaced by...
Erik Bedard, SP, Baltimore Orioles: His aggregate stats are almost identical to Lackey's, 32 Walks, 1.18 WHIP, 11 HRs against (same as Lackey), and .654 OPS against (.662 for Lackey). But the thing that puts him over the top is the fact that he has the most strikeouts in the AL. He's more than welcome to walk 32 guys as long as he's striking out 129 (4.03 K/BB). Honestly, comparing these two is almost a wash, but I just like Bedard better. He has more repeatable stats than Lackey does, and their ERAs are likely to regress toward each other.
-Gil Meche, SP, Kansas City Royals: He needs to be there to represent KC in the all-star game, but that doesn't mean that someone else doesn't deserve it more. He's by far the worst AL pitcher on the all-star team. His WHIP (1.30), OBP against (.317), SLG against (.407), and OPS against (.724) all rank last among the AL all-stars.
...should be replaced by...
Joe Blanton, SP, Oakland Athletics: His stats are even slightly better than Bedard's, although he strikes out far fewer guys (80). But he also walks fewer (23). His OPS against (.621) is even better than many of the definite all-stars: Josh Beckett (.642), Johan Santana (.655), Justin Verlander (.634), and C.C. Sabathia (.680). Another words, he's nothing flashy, he doesn't strike guys out, he doesn't throw a 95 mph fastball, and he's fat. But that's what makes him an Oakland Athletic; he just knows how to get guys out.
Vote In: Hideki Okajima, RP, Boston Red Sox: At Fenway Park, in 40 IP, he's managed this stat line: 0.90 ERA, 0.80 WHIP, 36 Ks, 1 HR against, .216 OBP against, .196 SLG against, and a .412 OPS against. That's just outstanding.
AL pitching notes: - Dan Haren should absolutely be the starter over Josh Beckett. His ERA is over a run better in 27 more innings, his WHIP is better (0.98 to 1.10), he's given up 1 less home run in those same 27 innings, and his OPS against is 69 points lower (.573 to .642), the best in the AL among starters.
- You think Okajima's stats are good? Let's look at the stats for Jonathan Papelbon and J.J. Putz.
Papelbon: In 30 IP, 1.50 ERA, 0.87 WHIP, 42 Ks, .235 OBP against, .224 SLG against, and .459 OPS against.
Putz: In 39 IP, 0.92 ERA, 7 walks (!), 0.59 WHIP (!), 43 Ks, .184 OBP against (!), .214 SLG against, and .398 OPS against (!). Yikes!
Let's take five, everybody. Smoke if you got 'em.
Okay, time for the NL. In general, I'd say they did a better job in the NL than the AL. I only had three complaints among the hitters, and here they are:
-Brian McCann, Catcher, Atlanta Braves: He's really only here because the NL can't carry only one catcher, that's all. Granted, he's an outstanding baseball player, and his stats will improve, but I don't think he deserves to be an all-star this year. His OBP is abysmal (.314), and he has the fewest total bases of any all-star (103). A .741 OPS and a 1.369 OPS2 just won't cut it. At least he's not Freddy Sanchez. I'll get there in a minute.
...should be replaced by...
Edgar Renteria, SS, Atlanta Braves: The NL has shortstops galore this year. Later on in my notes section I'll discuss this some more. Renteria has shined in his return to the NL. He's getting on base a lot (.386) and he's even slugging pretty well (.493) for a shortstop. Of all the NL shorstops on this list (and there are five), he has the hightest OPS2 at 1.651.
-Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez, 3B, Pittsburgh Pirates: There are way more deserving Pirates than this one (see: Bay, Jason, Gorzelanny, Tom, and Snell, Ian). I just don't see how anyone can justify his selection; he doesn't even have one good stat in his favor, 19 extra-base hits (1 HR), 12 Walks, .331 OBP, .375 SLG, .706 OPS, 1.368 OPS2, and zero (!) Stolen Bases. He ranks dead last in five of those stats among the other all-stars. Seriously, WTF?!
...should be replaced by...
Hanley Ramirez, SS, Florida Marlins: When PECOTA projected that Ramirez would be just as good, if not better than Jose Reyes, I really didn't believe it, but it happens to be true. He has the highest OPS of any SS in the NL (.880), and in addition to his speed (25 SB in 32 attempts), he also has good power numbers (11 HR, .500 SLG). He's a devastating force at the top of that Florida lineup.
-Carlos Lee, LF, Houston Astros: I don't like doing this, because I voted for him on several ballots and because my roommate hates him. And I love his nickname, El Caballo. By having him replaced, I'm admitting I was wrong and my roommate was right. Bah! Anyway, his raw stats are pretty good (15 HR, .513 SLG), but I was under the impression that he got on base a lot more than he does (.345). And he's definitely hurting his team's chances of scoring runs by attempting to steal (5 SB and 5 CS). His OPS (.854, not bad at all), which I expected to be much higher, is actually the second lowest of any NL OF on this list (the other one, Carlos Beltran has 13 SB in 15 attempts). And even his RBI total (meaningless) of 70 gets inflated by his 13 sacrifice flies, which are actually hurting his team. Az bye bye El Caballo.
...should be replaced by...
Aramis Ramirez, 3B, Chicago Cubs: I voted for him loads of times, and I can't believe he's not in. His stats this year are better than David Wright's (who also deserves to be here), and light years better than Freddy Sanchez's. Granted, I do think he needs to walk more than 18 times, but his .566 SLG brings his OPS up to a robust .920. Not much else to say about him, he's just having a very solid year.
Vote In: Ryan Howard, 1B, Philadelphia Phillies: This last spot was a rough one, and Howard is a rough selection. He's certainly not having as good a year as last year, but he's still been quite productive. His .248 BA looks pretty poor, but he's walking a ton (51), az his OBP is still up there at .382. For that reason alone, I chose him over Adam Dunn. The .931 OPS is also nice.
NL hitting notes: - Barry Bonds absolutely belongs on the all-star team. He has the highest OPS (1.119), OPS2 (2.151), and the most walks (84) in baseball. Granted, these stats were accrued over only 194 at bats, but still.
- How awesome is Chase Utley? As a 2nd baseman, generally considered to be the least productive position, he's managed to compile these stats: .406 OBP, .579 SLG with 48 extra-base hits (15 HRs), and a .985 OPS.
-Here's why Jimmy Rollins does not deserve to be an all-star, his OBP (.328), and OPS (.841) are all lower than the other four SSs on this list. And the .328 OBP is terrible for a leadoff hitter. It's a good thing they moved him down in the lineup.
NL Pitchers, only two complaints here.
- Cole Hamels, SP, Philadelphia Phillies: I honestly don't know why he's here. Sure, he strikes out a bunch of guys (116), but that's not enough to justify his selection. A 3.87 ERA and 19 HRs against him are much too high, even though he pitches at Citizen's Bank. His OPS against of .758 is really not good at all, especially considering the fact that some of the all-stars on this list have OPSs lower than that. He's not really having a bad year, I just think there are other candidates more deserving of his spot.
...should be replaced by...
John Maine, SP, New York Mets: His stats stack up nicely against all of Hamels's exept for strikeouts (84). The rest of them are as follows, ERA (2.74 to 3.87 (!)), WHIP (1.15 to 1.22), HR/9 (0.88 to 1.54), OBP against (.287 to .303), SLG against (.348 to .455(!)), and OPS against (.635 to .758). This looks pretty clear to me. Besides, I have a man-crush on Johnny, and he's the only player in baseball history to have the same name as a state. If those aren't criteria for all-star selection then I don't know what is.
- Brian Fuentes, RP, Colorado Rockies: What?! Matt Holliday is already on the roster, az why the hell do you need a Rockies pitcher? And even if you were going to pick one, Jeff Francis is a far better selection. Jesus, how is a guy with a 4.17 ERA an all-star? Allowing men to reach base 32.1% of the time is too much. And for a closer, he doesn't even strike out that many hitters (29 in 36.2 innings). A .734 OPS against for a closer is attrocious, and he has the hightest OPS2 against (1.376) of anyone on the list. It's a good thing the Rockies just replaced him with a new closer. I bet the all-star manager looks like a moron now.
... should be replaced with...
- Chris Young, SP, San Diego Padres: I am absolutely astonished that he's not an all-star. He has the second lowest ERA (2.14) and WHIP (1.09) among starters in the NL. If your job as a pitcher is to allow the fewest amount of batters to reach base, then you really can't do much better than Young; he has the second lowest OBP against (.279), SLG against (.280), and OPS against (.559) among starters in the NL. By the way, the leader in all of these stats is his teammate, Jake Peavy. How the hell is Young not an all-star?!
NL pitching notes: - Let's take a look at Takashi Saito's line: 33.2 IP, 1.34 ERA, 3 Walks (!), 0.72 WHIP, 42 Ks (14 K/BB ratio (!)). Pretty freakin' sweet.
- Cole Hamels has given up 19 HRs in 111.2 innings. Brad Penny, Jake Peavy, and Chris Young have given up seven HRs in 322 innings combined. Wow.
- I almost put El Duque in here, but he's only pitched 74.1 innings this season. Still, his stats are quite good: 2.79 ERA, 1.04 WHIP.
Awesome! Thanks to those who read my longest post ever (3,254 words, not including anything between these parentheses). I breathlessly await your comments.
- All of the stats are current as of the first day of July, 2007.
- I kept the rosters the same size, and did my best to replace players with other players who play similar positions.
- I included the final player for whom the fans get to vote after the preliminary all-star selections are made.
- When it came to making my decisions, I didn't even look at these statistics: RBI, Runs, Batting Average, Wins, and Saves.
- In accordance with the Moneyball doctrine, that the worst thing a player can do on a baseball field is make an out, I made On-base Percentage the single most important statistic on my list. In fact, it says somewhere in the book that OBP should be worth around three times as much as Slugging Percentage, az OPS really shouldn't be a straight sum of OBP and SLG. Az what I did was multiply OBP by three and then add that to SLG, and for the purposes of this post, I named that OPS2. Very good players tend to approach a 2.000 OPS2, just for a frame of reference. I'm just trying to do the best I can with the tools available to me. Hey, if I get enough readers, maybe I'll ask that some of you contribute to my baseballprospectus.com fund so I can look up real sabermetric statistics like EqA and VORP.
Anyway, without further adieu, I present to you my all-star snub list. Let's start with the American League:
-Ivan Rodriguez, Catcher, Detroit Tigers: Guh, even his traditional stats are pedestrian, .280 BA, 8 HR, 43 RsBI. According to my stats, he is the single worst position player on my entire list of 53 players. Since when did the Detroit Tigers fans have so much sway over the all-star voting? Did they even realize that Pudge has only four walks this year? FOUR?!?!?! His OBP is a heroic .293! The next lowest OBP on my list is .314, and that's very low for my taste. It goes without saying that his OPS is the lowest on my American League list, and his OPS2 (1.323) is the lowest on the entire list. Pudge, you just don't belong here anymore; please leave.
...should be replaced by...
Kevin Youkilis, 1B, Boston Red Sox: Now this wasn't even fair, because Big Papi was on the ballot at 1B, az the GGoW (Greek God of Walks) didn't even appear on there, az fans didn't even have an opportunity to vote for him. For a power position his stats aren't amazing, but screw the old stats, and lets look at the important ones. He's tied for fifth in the AL in OBP on my list and has a respectable SLG north of .500 resulting in a very nice OPS of .924, and an OPS2 of 1.762. Also, just as a side note, two weeks ago on Firejoemorgan.com, they put a link to Youkilis's DT card on baseballprospectus.com. The URL for each player uses a code for each player's name, the first five letters of his last name followed by the first two letters of his first name. Az Kevin Youkilis becomes "youkike." Don't worry; they have since changed the URL code to "youki________ke."
-Placido Polanco, 2B, Detroit Tigers: This is really a shame because he's really having a fine season. He's batting .330, which means diddly-poo on offense, except for the fact that it means his OBP is at least .330. His OBP is in fact .378, but his SLG is only .421 because he only has 22 extra-base hits (2 HR in 309 ABs) out of his 102. I really don't think anyone with an OPS of below .800 should be on an all-star team.
...should be replaced by...
B.J. Upton, 2B, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: His candidacy for the all-star team was hurt by his stint on the disabled list, but I think he has accrued enough raw stats to be eligible. His OBP (.396) and SLG (.545) make for an outstanding OPS (.941) and OPS2 (1.733) for a 2nd baseman. But I think that his production, 26 extra-base hits with nine HRs in 200 at-bats should definitely have attracted more attention. He even has 13 SBs in 18 attempts. Give the kid a chance.
-Michael Young, SS, Texas Rangers: What on Earth is he doing here? Honestly, if you had to have one Ranger an the all-star team (and you do), take Eric Gagne. I'm not saying he should be in, I'm just saying he would be a better selection from the Rangers. Honestly, he has zero all-star caliber statistics. He has a low OBP (.343), a low SLG (.400), not many walks (24), and few extra base hits (27). One can expect such a stat line from a speedy base stealer, but he only has six steals. Michael Young, we have to let you go.
...should be replaced by...
Carlos Pena, 1B, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: He also suffered because he wasn't on the ballot and didn't have a ton of at-bats (207). However, this did not prevent him from having the highest OPS of any first baseman in the American League (.984). He's hitting a ton of extra-base hits (31 out of 58, including 18 HRs), and walking like crazy (31). If one were to project his stats over a full season, his line would look like this: 44 HR, 112 RsBI, and 100 Runs. Even fans of conventional stats couldn't ignore that. Besides, he's a moneyball guy.
- Carl Crawford, CF, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: See, they keep picking the wrong guys from each team. Crawford is a great player, and he's exciting, but he just doesn't have the numbers this year. He's not turning out to be the 30/30 guy he's expected to be; he has only six HRs this year. He gets helped out by the fact that he has 27 other extra-base hits (19 doubles and 8 triples), but combined with a low OBP (.339), his OPS is sub-par (.794). That's just too low.
...should be replaced by...
Curtis Granderson, CF, Detroit Tigers: Geez, I didn't even realize that Curt was having a monster year. He has a ridiculous amount of extra-base hits (48), including 11 HRs, 22 doubles, and 15(!) triples. The only thing really hurting him is his low OBP (.343, OPS2 = 1.592), but I think his SLG (.563) more than makes up for it. Also, he has 9 SBs without getting caught once.
- Torii Hunter, CF, Minnesota Twins: He was really the hardest to criticize, because he has compiled some impressive numbers this season, 17 HRs, .550 SLG, .894 OPS. But I just don't think he walks enough (17, .344 OBP), demonstrating a lack of discipline at the plate. An all-star in this league needs to do better. Additionally, and I think this was the clincher, weak as it may be, Hunter is actually hurting his team when he steals bases; he has 11 SBs in 16 attempts. As I said, this was the toughest decision to make, but I think the player replacing him deserves the spot more.
...should be replaced by...
Gary Sheffield, DH/LF, Detroit Tigers: His raw stats compare nicely with Hunter's, 18 HR, .535 SLG, 11 SB, but he gets on base a ton more than Hunter (.401 OBP). His OPS2 just blows Hunter's out of the water (1.733 to 1.582). I wish I had access to fielding statistics because I'd love to see if Hunter's FRAA might be enough to tip the balance.
AL hitting notes: -Alex Rodriguez has the highest OPS2 on the AL list (1.955).
-Grady Sizemore has 50 walks, tied for 2nd in the AL; he had 78 all of last season.
Onto the pitchers!
-John Lackey, SP, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: This stinks, because he's pitching really well this year. A 3.04 ERA is nothing to scoff at these days, especially in the AL. But honestly, I really think he's getting lucky. I wish I had access to BABIP stats, but I'll just have to work with what I have. The beef I have with him are his WHIP, walks and strikeouts. His 1.19 WHIP is respectable, but it's the second highest of any AL all-star. And I don't think he strikes out enough guys (87) to justify the amount of guys he walks (32). His K/BB rate of 2.72 is just too low for an all-star.
...should be replaced by...
Erik Bedard, SP, Baltimore Orioles: His aggregate stats are almost identical to Lackey's, 32 Walks, 1.18 WHIP, 11 HRs against (same as Lackey), and .654 OPS against (.662 for Lackey). But the thing that puts him over the top is the fact that he has the most strikeouts in the AL. He's more than welcome to walk 32 guys as long as he's striking out 129 (4.03 K/BB). Honestly, comparing these two is almost a wash, but I just like Bedard better. He has more repeatable stats than Lackey does, and their ERAs are likely to regress toward each other.
-Gil Meche, SP, Kansas City Royals: He needs to be there to represent KC in the all-star game, but that doesn't mean that someone else doesn't deserve it more. He's by far the worst AL pitcher on the all-star team. His WHIP (1.30), OBP against (.317), SLG against (.407), and OPS against (.724) all rank last among the AL all-stars.
...should be replaced by...
Joe Blanton, SP, Oakland Athletics: His stats are even slightly better than Bedard's, although he strikes out far fewer guys (80). But he also walks fewer (23). His OPS against (.621) is even better than many of the definite all-stars: Josh Beckett (.642), Johan Santana (.655), Justin Verlander (.634), and C.C. Sabathia (.680). Another words, he's nothing flashy, he doesn't strike guys out, he doesn't throw a 95 mph fastball, and he's fat. But that's what makes him an Oakland Athletic; he just knows how to get guys out.
Vote In: Hideki Okajima, RP, Boston Red Sox: At Fenway Park, in 40 IP, he's managed this stat line: 0.90 ERA, 0.80 WHIP, 36 Ks, 1 HR against, .216 OBP against, .196 SLG against, and a .412 OPS against. That's just outstanding.
AL pitching notes: - Dan Haren should absolutely be the starter over Josh Beckett. His ERA is over a run better in 27 more innings, his WHIP is better (0.98 to 1.10), he's given up 1 less home run in those same 27 innings, and his OPS against is 69 points lower (.573 to .642), the best in the AL among starters.
- You think Okajima's stats are good? Let's look at the stats for Jonathan Papelbon and J.J. Putz.
Papelbon: In 30 IP, 1.50 ERA, 0.87 WHIP, 42 Ks, .235 OBP against, .224 SLG against, and .459 OPS against.
Putz: In 39 IP, 0.92 ERA, 7 walks (!), 0.59 WHIP (!), 43 Ks, .184 OBP against (!), .214 SLG against, and .398 OPS against (!). Yikes!
Let's take five, everybody. Smoke if you got 'em.
Okay, time for the NL. In general, I'd say they did a better job in the NL than the AL. I only had three complaints among the hitters, and here they are:
-Brian McCann, Catcher, Atlanta Braves: He's really only here because the NL can't carry only one catcher, that's all. Granted, he's an outstanding baseball player, and his stats will improve, but I don't think he deserves to be an all-star this year. His OBP is abysmal (.314), and he has the fewest total bases of any all-star (103). A .741 OPS and a 1.369 OPS2 just won't cut it. At least he's not Freddy Sanchez. I'll get there in a minute.
...should be replaced by...
Edgar Renteria, SS, Atlanta Braves: The NL has shortstops galore this year. Later on in my notes section I'll discuss this some more. Renteria has shined in his return to the NL. He's getting on base a lot (.386) and he's even slugging pretty well (.493) for a shortstop. Of all the NL shorstops on this list (and there are five), he has the hightest OPS2 at 1.651.
-Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez, 3B, Pittsburgh Pirates: There are way more deserving Pirates than this one (see: Bay, Jason, Gorzelanny, Tom, and Snell, Ian). I just don't see how anyone can justify his selection; he doesn't even have one good stat in his favor, 19 extra-base hits (1 HR), 12 Walks, .331 OBP, .375 SLG, .706 OPS, 1.368 OPS2, and zero (!) Stolen Bases. He ranks dead last in five of those stats among the other all-stars. Seriously, WTF?!
...should be replaced by...
Hanley Ramirez, SS, Florida Marlins: When PECOTA projected that Ramirez would be just as good, if not better than Jose Reyes, I really didn't believe it, but it happens to be true. He has the highest OPS of any SS in the NL (.880), and in addition to his speed (25 SB in 32 attempts), he also has good power numbers (11 HR, .500 SLG). He's a devastating force at the top of that Florida lineup.
-Carlos Lee, LF, Houston Astros: I don't like doing this, because I voted for him on several ballots and because my roommate hates him. And I love his nickname, El Caballo. By having him replaced, I'm admitting I was wrong and my roommate was right. Bah! Anyway, his raw stats are pretty good (15 HR, .513 SLG), but I was under the impression that he got on base a lot more than he does (.345). And he's definitely hurting his team's chances of scoring runs by attempting to steal (5 SB and 5 CS). His OPS (.854, not bad at all), which I expected to be much higher, is actually the second lowest of any NL OF on this list (the other one, Carlos Beltran has 13 SB in 15 attempts). And even his RBI total (meaningless) of 70 gets inflated by his 13 sacrifice flies, which are actually hurting his team. Az bye bye El Caballo.
...should be replaced by...
Aramis Ramirez, 3B, Chicago Cubs: I voted for him loads of times, and I can't believe he's not in. His stats this year are better than David Wright's (who also deserves to be here), and light years better than Freddy Sanchez's. Granted, I do think he needs to walk more than 18 times, but his .566 SLG brings his OPS up to a robust .920. Not much else to say about him, he's just having a very solid year.
Vote In: Ryan Howard, 1B, Philadelphia Phillies: This last spot was a rough one, and Howard is a rough selection. He's certainly not having as good a year as last year, but he's still been quite productive. His .248 BA looks pretty poor, but he's walking a ton (51), az his OBP is still up there at .382. For that reason alone, I chose him over Adam Dunn. The .931 OPS is also nice.
NL hitting notes: - Barry Bonds absolutely belongs on the all-star team. He has the highest OPS (1.119), OPS2 (2.151), and the most walks (84) in baseball. Granted, these stats were accrued over only 194 at bats, but still.
- How awesome is Chase Utley? As a 2nd baseman, generally considered to be the least productive position, he's managed to compile these stats: .406 OBP, .579 SLG with 48 extra-base hits (15 HRs), and a .985 OPS.
-Here's why Jimmy Rollins does not deserve to be an all-star, his OBP (.328), and OPS (.841) are all lower than the other four SSs on this list. And the .328 OBP is terrible for a leadoff hitter. It's a good thing they moved him down in the lineup.
NL Pitchers, only two complaints here.
- Cole Hamels, SP, Philadelphia Phillies: I honestly don't know why he's here. Sure, he strikes out a bunch of guys (116), but that's not enough to justify his selection. A 3.87 ERA and 19 HRs against him are much too high, even though he pitches at Citizen's Bank. His OPS against of .758 is really not good at all, especially considering the fact that some of the all-stars on this list have OPSs lower than that. He's not really having a bad year, I just think there are other candidates more deserving of his spot.
...should be replaced by...
John Maine, SP, New York Mets: His stats stack up nicely against all of Hamels's exept for strikeouts (84). The rest of them are as follows, ERA (2.74 to 3.87 (!)), WHIP (1.15 to 1.22), HR/9 (0.88 to 1.54), OBP against (.287 to .303), SLG against (.348 to .455(!)), and OPS against (.635 to .758). This looks pretty clear to me. Besides, I have a man-crush on Johnny, and he's the only player in baseball history to have the same name as a state. If those aren't criteria for all-star selection then I don't know what is.
- Brian Fuentes, RP, Colorado Rockies: What?! Matt Holliday is already on the roster, az why the hell do you need a Rockies pitcher? And even if you were going to pick one, Jeff Francis is a far better selection. Jesus, how is a guy with a 4.17 ERA an all-star? Allowing men to reach base 32.1% of the time is too much. And for a closer, he doesn't even strike out that many hitters (29 in 36.2 innings). A .734 OPS against for a closer is attrocious, and he has the hightest OPS2 against (1.376) of anyone on the list. It's a good thing the Rockies just replaced him with a new closer. I bet the all-star manager looks like a moron now.
... should be replaced with...
- Chris Young, SP, San Diego Padres: I am absolutely astonished that he's not an all-star. He has the second lowest ERA (2.14) and WHIP (1.09) among starters in the NL. If your job as a pitcher is to allow the fewest amount of batters to reach base, then you really can't do much better than Young; he has the second lowest OBP against (.279), SLG against (.280), and OPS against (.559) among starters in the NL. By the way, the leader in all of these stats is his teammate, Jake Peavy. How the hell is Young not an all-star?!
NL pitching notes: - Let's take a look at Takashi Saito's line: 33.2 IP, 1.34 ERA, 3 Walks (!), 0.72 WHIP, 42 Ks (14 K/BB ratio (!)). Pretty freakin' sweet.
- Cole Hamels has given up 19 HRs in 111.2 innings. Brad Penny, Jake Peavy, and Chris Young have given up seven HRs in 322 innings combined. Wow.
- I almost put El Duque in here, but he's only pitched 74.1 innings this season. Still, his stats are quite good: 2.79 ERA, 1.04 WHIP.
Awesome! Thanks to those who read my longest post ever (3,254 words, not including anything between these parentheses). I breathlessly await your comments.
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