Kosher Lunch, A Bargain!

Last Friday, I went to Milk and Honey to grab a slice of pizza or two for lunch. Friday is easy because a lot of people don't take lunch, so I rarely see anyone I know, az there are no distractions. At MnH they have this deal where you get a free canned drink with your purchase of two slices of pizza. Az there I am with my slices and my soda and I notice the nice Asian girl at the register ringing me up for the soda! Now I'm thinking maybe she was trying to Jew me out of $1.25; maybe her instructions are to ring people up for the soda unless they say they're invoking the rules of the deal. So I said "don't I get the soda for free?" And here's the rub; she responds "We don't have that deal anymore. Didn't you notice we lowered our prices? Each slice of pizza is only $3." I was sooooo tempted to say "Only $3 for a slice of pizza?! What a bargain!" but I'm not that guy. Remember when we were in Israel for the year, and you got a slice of pizza at Pizza Rami for only five NIS? That came out to like a buck and a quarter. Now I'm paying 280% of that. What has the world come to?

At work I listen to ESPN radio all day. I've begun to memorize a lot of the commercials I hear (if I hear the Colin Cowherd Vizio commercial one more time... "a 1080P LCD under 1700! They are the HDTV of you the people! Vizio is available at Circuit City! Sears, Costco, Sam's Club, BJ's! And Walmart). Recently, they've started airing a new commercial, which I found highly entertaining, mostly because the woman's voice is so funny. I haven't the foggiest idea what the commercial is about, but it sounds like a guy is trying to figure out what to get his wife for Christmas. Apparently, the wife is the out-doorsy type, and the husband keeps saying things like "Isn't there anything you need?" And she replies "You're all I need! Unless I go camping, in which case I'll need a three-season tent." And then he says "At least let me make you something." And she says "Really you could just make me a card, and put it in a kayak!" For some reason I think that last line is hilarious. Maybe I'm weird. No wait; I'm definitely weird, but is that why I find that funny?

I just want to put in a quick word about the Mitchell investigation, which is supposed to reveal its findings at 2 pm EST today. I have a funny feeling that today is going to be a very bad day for Major League Baseball. A report came out that four current Yankees will be mentioned in the report. I imagine two of them are Jason Giambi and Roger Clemens, but I have no idea about the other two. Wouldn't it be incredible if one of them were Derek Jeter? That would really make my day. I hope all the other ones are bad men that people (read: I) don't like anyway, like Barry Bonds, and Jimmy Rollins (MVP? Hah!), and Albert Pujols. I would hate for it to be players that everyone loves and respects, like David Wright, Jim Thome, Frank Thomas, Ken Griffey Jr., etc., although in my heart of hearts I know it won't work out that way. I hope baseball can recover. Last time it took steroids to make everyone forget about the strike-shortened 1994 season. I don't know what it will take this time, but they better pull through.