A Series of Fortunate Events

Now that I've been getting comments about my lack of posts, and now that I have what to write about, I'mma go ahead and bring y'all up to date. I've determined that I have arrived at my current state as a result of several seemingly unrelated events. I came to this conclusion mostly because it makes for a good story, but forget that for a second and allow yourselves to be immersed in my heroic tale. It begins on an unremarkable Sunday about 3 months ago. I had planned to go with a couple of friends to Tanger outlets by Riverhead, NY to buy some clothes. For no particular reason, I felt a not-so-weak urge to try on a pair of jeans. I tried them on, but I didn't necessarily like the way I looked in them, az I just returned them to the rack. However, during the same shopping trip, I made another drastic change in my wardrobe. I won't say exactly what the change was, but let's just say, only my roommates would ever notice.

Let's fast-forward to like three weeks ago. I had decided when I quit my old job, that I would avoid getting myself into a certain situation, because it would cost money, and generally be irresponsible. I abandoned that policy three weeks ago because of extenuating circumstances. I decided that it was time for a new Schmutter. Anyway, during the time I was waiting to hear the results of my endeavor, I ended up taking another trip out to Tanger outlets. While I was there, not only did I replenish my supply of unmentionables, but I proceeded once again to try on a pair of jeans. This time there was no stopping me. I learned later that if you want to buy a pair of jeans there's no better place to go than the Gap, but this is a learning experience for me, az give me some time to get used to my Van Heusens. That was just another step forward in Operation: Reinvent My Image. Anywho, a day or so after that I heard that my attempts at getting into that situation I was trying to avoid had resulted in failure. Either way, I didn't feel too badly about it; at least I was trying to do things differently.

Meanwhile, I was still on the job hunt, and my mother was determined to do her share in helping me, az she took me to get an interview suit last Friday. We made the rounds around midtown. First we went to Syms and I tried on a few suits, but mom decided she didn't want me to have a cheap suit, az we left. Then we tried Men's Wearhouse and Joseph A. Bank, but to no avail. Finally, at mom's urging, we went into Brooks Brothers. Needless to say, after lots of arguing, I relented and let mom buy me the most expensive piece of clothing I've ever owned. Now, equipped with a new attitude and a new wardrobe, I was ready to face the world.

Before my most recent round of interviews I received some other welcome news. A certain event, which I was certain would take place, finally had. (Notice I'm being deliberately vague about a lot of the specifics in this post, but that just stems from the fact that I don't talk about specific events in my personal life. Just deal with it.) Armed with that knowledge, I was in an extremely good mood when I went into an interview on Wednesday. And just like that, new suit and all, I got a job. After all my efforts, this job just fell into my lap over a period of 32 hours. Az starting Monday, I'll be a portfolio performance analyst for United States Trust. And this wasn't a moment too soon, because tutoring season is almost over. Great timing. Anyway, I guess the only thing I need to worry about is asking them to change my computer system to Dvorak. Ah well. It's just what I need; all my co-workers are gonna think they hired a raving lunatic. Maybe they have...