I got an e-mail from a friend earlier, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say it was me, posing as a girl, sending myself an e-mail, because it was totally something I would think about. I immediately had to start writing this post. Here's what she said: "also i like that this year is gonn abe [sic] 2008 because i like writng [sic] the nuber [sic] 8. just thought you would like to know." (just in case some of you are not familiar with what's in the square brackets, here is the definition from wikipedia: "...in writing, [sic] is placed within square brackets and usually italicized to indicate that an incorrect or unusual spelling, phrase, punctuation, and/or other preceding quoted material has been reproduced verbatim from the quoted original and is not a transcription error." I, of course, never make transcription errors, or any other errors for that matter. Meanwhile, I have just been informed that the e-mail typer was "tired" az she should be given a get-out-of-jail-free card this time around. I've always used that excuse when I've accidentally ended a clause with a preposition, or when I've accidentally put one space after a period instead of two. Oh no, wait, how silly of me; there are no excuses.) At that point I started thinking, well, how many different ways are there to write an eight?
I determined that there are three ways:
1. I start at the top and move my pencil to the left and down, and do the entire figure eight without lifting my pencil. When I get back to the top I curve around again so I meet the beginning of the eight.
2. Some people like to do almost the same thing. The only difference is instead of curving around at the end, they just extend the line in the same direction, az it looks like the eight has a tail coming out of the top.
3. The weirdos out there like to draw two small "o"s that connect. IMHO, that takes entirely too long. I also don't enjoy when they are written quickly and the two halves don't actually touch. Then it just looks like a big colon.
I think my favorite numbers to write are "4," "5," and "9." Here's a funny story about writing the number nine. My junior year of college, I took a math course called Modern Analysis. It's a very theoretical discipline, az it's pretty hard to actually teach and learn. Anyway, a third of the way through the semester we had our first exam. Class went from 9:10 to 10:25 am, az the teacher, Patrick X. Gallagher, head of the math department and maniacal shirt-perspirer, would write the time on the chalkboard to let us know how much time we had left. Az since he wrote like "Time now: 9:35. Time left: 50 minutes," my friend and I actually discussed later how much we enjoyed the way he wrote the number nine. It occurred to us that we never noticed it until then because it was the first time all semester that he actually wrote the number nine. Modern Analysis is so theoretical that the only actual numbers he ever wrote were zero, one, and occasionally two. Otherwise he would only use variables. I hope I didn't lose any of you there. Better than writing about sports I guess.
Oh, and as long as I mentioned it earlier in my digression on "[sic]," I'd like to make sure that you all know the difference between parentheses, square brackets, and curly braces. Those things around the "sic" are square brackets. They're mostly used in math for matrices. Everyone knows what parentheses are, I hope. They're used in math to determine order of operations, in combinatorics, and when naming functions (e.g. f(x) is a function of x). Curly braces: { and } are mostly used in computer programming, but also in math for describing sets and probabilities, and for functions that have different definitions depending on the argument. For example:
f(x)
= {0 x<= 0
= {x x>0
Whenever I get a new student to tutor I always make sure that they know how to draw curly braces. If anyone wants a drawing lesson let me know. I charge $80 an hour. Good day all.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
A Real Post This Time. Enjoy.
Az I've got a couple of items on tap tonight. Firstly, I'd like to add another product onto my ever growing list of things that are most commonly known by one of the brand names. Today one of my friends (you know who you are) e-mailed me, telling me that her coworker stole her whiteout, which made her sad, az she stole someone else's, which made her happy. Since it's right after Yom Kippur, and she needed to be punished for stealing, I corrected her usage of the word "whiteout" by saying that the brand name one is spelled "Witeout" without an "H." I'm kinda scared that she said that she totally knew I was going to say that. Anyway, put Witeout on the list, because nobody, and I mean NOBODY refers to the stuff as "liquid paper."
Moving right along... One of my friends referred me to a website called xkcd.com, which has a bunch of comics on it. As stated on the page, xkcd.com is "a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language." Another words, it's right up my side street. I can't even begin to tell you how much I enjoy some of the comics, but I'd like to mention one right now that really reminds me of something from my childhood. Comic #45 shows people walking on a tiled floor, and one of the people subconsciously walks on only the black tiles. The point is that the caption on the comic states, "the worst part is when the sidewalk cracks are out of sync with your natural stride." Anyone feel the same way? I totally remember that when I was younger I used to take exactly two steps every sidewalk tile. Maybe I'm weird but I know I definitely did this. Like you know how some baseball pitchers never step on the foul line when they come on and off the field (a la Turk Wendell)? It's the same thing. I never wanted to step on the cracks in the sidewalk. Now all that nonsense started to remind me of the stairwells down and up which I walked frequently when I was younger. Par exemple, I grew up in my parents' apartment on the third floor of
Everyone has clearly lost me, but I don't care. I'm doing this for me. In fact, I was reminiscing with my friend last night, and in order to remember something I actually referred to my blog! I was immensely pleased about that for some reason.
Anywho, in closing (this is where I would restate my thesis if I were writing the good ol' five-paragraph essay), I want to respond to someone who commented on my last post. Now, I was expecting at least one comment when I wrote:
Sample statements that would not be allowed:
"The Yankees are the best team in baseball."
"Derek Jeter is a good shortstop."
"Willie Randolph should be fired."
I'm not saying that any of the above statements are false (Only 1 of them is probably true)
The person who responded said "It's the Jeter one, right?" Now this might be someone trying to bait me into getting my dander up and attacking them with stats until their head a splodes (see Strong Bad E-mail #94, Video Games), or it might be a genuine guess as to which one is true. Well, let me tell you Captain Smarty Skirts, that is clearly the only one that is blatantly false. Derek Jeter, by every true metric, is a far below-average shortstop. I don't have his exact zone rating numbers or his defensive +/-, but when I do, you're gonna be sorry you ever messed with THIS guy. The one that was probably the most true was the first one. The Yankees, at this point, might be the safest bet to win the world series because their hitting is clicking at the right time, and their once suspect pitching staff has really become very solid with the influx of new talent (Hughes, Chamberlain, Kennedy, Mussina (sshh...(Ooh, three nested parentheses; good for me. And a semicolon to boot!))). But don't tell anyone I said that. Maybe I'm just bitter about giving up 13 fweakin' runs to the fweakin' Washington Mutuals in my last game of the season. I need to go to bed. Gnight me.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Just a Quick Word
Here's a real quickie because I'm insanely busy at work, what with all these holidays and such. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE must follow this rule, especially this time of year, and I'm going to put it in bold to indicate how strongly I feel about this:
IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SPORTS THEN YOU CAN'T COMMENT ABOUT SPORTS.
There are a few exceptions to this rule. If you don't know anything about sports you're allowed to make blatantly obvious statements, such as:
"Man, the Yankees are playing well right now."
"I heard about that James Thome hitting his 500th home run."
"The playoffs are starting soon."
"The Mets pitching has been pretty awful recently."
Sample statements that would not be allowed:
"The Yankees are the best team in baseball."
"Derek Jeter is a good shortstop."
"Willie Randolph should be fired."
I'm not saying that any of the above statements are false (Only 1 of them is probably true); I'm saying that unless you have an armory full of ammunition to support a claim like any of those, don't say it, because I will attack you with stats until your brain explodes.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SPORTS THEN YOU CAN'T COMMENT ABOUT SPORTS.
There are a few exceptions to this rule. If you don't know anything about sports you're allowed to make blatantly obvious statements, such as:
"Man, the Yankees are playing well right now."
"I heard about that James Thome hitting his 500th home run."
"The playoffs are starting soon."
"The Mets pitching has been pretty awful recently."
Sample statements that would not be allowed:
"The Yankees are the best team in baseball."
"Derek Jeter is a good shortstop."
"Willie Randolph should be fired."
I'm not saying that any of the above statements are false (Only 1 of them is probably true); I'm saying that unless you have an armory full of ammunition to support a claim like any of those, don't say it, because I will attack you with stats until your brain explodes.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
I Am So Smart, I Am So Smart, S-M-R-T, I Mean S-M-A-R-T
Man, am I glad that Junior returned from Brazil. He was reading a mailbag with questions and answers by Jon Heyman, a baseball expert who frequently appears on the Michael Kay Show on ESPN radio (Oo we got Jon Heyman, oo we got Jon Heyman, oo we got Jon Heyman on the Michael Kay Sho-oo-o-oo-o-oo-ow). Anyway, Junior dives right in, and reacts to a question by "beautiful, charismatic, saintly Carolyn" from Boca, and an answer by Herr Heyman:
From Carolyn: "Regarding your NL MVP candidates, how about those two guys in Florida? Yes, the Marlins are not in playoff contention, but it's hard to ignore Hanley Ramirez and Miguel Cabrera, especially considering they're first and second, respectively, in the NL in VORP, and rank in the top three in Runs Created. It looks like you went through all the playoff-contending teams, and chose a "good" player from each. Let me ask you: If Cabrera were on a playoff-contender this season, would there be any doubt who the MVP was?"
-- Carolyn, Boca Raton, Fla.
Junior: Carolyn makes a lot of good points, and I imagine she lives in a gleaming white Spanish-style home in Boca Raton and rides horses bareback in the springtime. But back to the point: yes, Hanley Ramirez and Miguel Cabrera sit 1-2 in the NL VORP standings (BP subscription req'd), followed very closely by Misters Wright, Jones (Larry, not Andruw), Utley and Pujols. A San Francisco outfielder ranks seventh. So yes, Carolyn, Cabrera would be a very strong MVP candidate if his team were any good, as would Hanley. As for your accusation that Mr. Heyman only looked at playoff-ish teams --
John Heyman: "Actually, you're right. That's exactly what I did, and how I came up with Prince Fielder as my NL MVP leader. His "good'' year is actually more than good, and the Brewers are right in the thick of the playoff race."
Junior: Prince is having a terrific year, and he probably actually is the lead dog in the NL MVP race because it's an award voted on by guys exactly like Heyman. Is this just? Well, he's 10th in the league in VORP, a full 21 points behind both Cabrera and H. Ramirez. He has an excellent EqA (.322 -- lower than Cabrera's, Pujols', Bonds', Utley's, Jones', heck, even Hanley's), and he plays indifferent to bad defense at the easiest position on the diamond. To be honest, I don't think he's all that strong a candidate.
Schmutter: Anyone who read my last post may now come to offer their obeisance.
If you want to read this from the source, check out http://www.firejoemorgan.com/ and look at the posts from Wednesday, August 29th, 2007.
From Carolyn: "Regarding your NL MVP candidates, how about those two guys in Florida? Yes, the Marlins are not in playoff contention, but it's hard to ignore Hanley Ramirez and Miguel Cabrera, especially considering they're first and second, respectively, in the NL in VORP, and rank in the top three in Runs Created. It looks like you went through all the playoff-contending teams, and chose a "good" player from each. Let me ask you: If Cabrera were on a playoff-contender this season, would there be any doubt who the MVP was?"
-- Carolyn, Boca Raton, Fla.
Junior: Carolyn makes a lot of good points, and I imagine she lives in a gleaming white Spanish-style home in Boca Raton and rides horses bareback in the springtime. But back to the point: yes, Hanley Ramirez and Miguel Cabrera sit 1-2 in the NL VORP standings (BP subscription req'd), followed very closely by Misters Wright, Jones (Larry, not Andruw), Utley and Pujols. A San Francisco outfielder ranks seventh. So yes, Carolyn, Cabrera would be a very strong MVP candidate if his team were any good, as would Hanley. As for your accusation that Mr. Heyman only looked at playoff-ish teams --
John Heyman: "Actually, you're right. That's exactly what I did, and how I came up with Prince Fielder as my NL MVP leader. His "good'' year is actually more than good, and the Brewers are right in the thick of the playoff race."
Junior: Prince is having a terrific year, and he probably actually is the lead dog in the NL MVP race because it's an award voted on by guys exactly like Heyman. Is this just? Well, he's 10th in the league in VORP, a full 21 points behind both Cabrera and H. Ramirez. He has an excellent EqA (.322 -- lower than Cabrera's, Pujols', Bonds', Utley's, Jones', heck, even Hanley's), and he plays indifferent to bad defense at the easiest position on the diamond. To be honest, I don't think he's all that strong a candidate.
Schmutter: Anyone who read my last post may now come to offer their obeisance.
If you want to read this from the source, check out http://www.firejoemorgan.com/ and look at the posts from Wednesday, August 29th, 2007.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
At the Risk of Losing Readership, Another Baseball Post
I was doing my usual perusal of the various baseball Sabermetrics blogs out there, and on beyondtheboxscore.com, as they do every week, they listed their weekly awards. Most of these awards are based on advanced statistics, and some of them make fun of traditional statistics, such as "The Rey Sanchez Batting Average Is All I've Got Award" and "The Harmon Killebrew Batting Average Is For Wussies Award." What caught my attention was the NL MVP award. He said that for the season, "the national media has seemed to have been hyping Prince Fielder and Ryan Howard more than Wright," although according to his metrics, the current MVP leader is Hanley Ramirez. Az I spent some time this morning compiling some stats from baseball-reference.com, baseballprospectus.com, and fangraphs.com, and came up with some of my own conclusions. I obviously chose to look at Wright, Fielder, Howard, and Ramirez, but I also tossed in four more legit MVP candidates (Utley, Pujols, Holliday, and Cabrera), and a couple other odds and ends (Bonds, Braun. (again, more odd than end)) to make it a nice round ten. I tossed in Bonds and Braun just to compare their stats with the others', even though there's a negligible probability that the Baseball Writers' Association of America (BBWAA) will vote either of them in. And that's also what this post is about, not only my feelings about who should win, but also who I think has a legit shot at getting the votes from the BBWAA, who look at much different factors than I would. Anyway, you'll see which stats I used once I get to the players, but what I also did was rank each of the ten players in a few of the important stats from one to ten and summed that total at the end. A low total is good. You'll get the idea.
Stats used: OPS+: On Base Percentage + Slugging Percentage, measured against the league average, and adjusted for ballpark factors. League average is normalized to 100.
RC/27: Runs Created if that player took every at-bat for his team for a whole game.
WPA: Win Probability Added: The sum total of the probabilities of winning each game that was added by each of that player's at-bats.
EqA: Equivalent Average: A calculation of several hitting stats averaged to .260 to mimic traditional Batting Average.
VORP: Value Over Replacement Player: A baseballprospectus statistic, which determines how many runs a player has produced during the season above a replacement level player.
WARP1: Wins Above Replacement Player: A baseballprospectus statistic, which determines how many wins a player has produced during the season above a replacement level player.
Let's start with the guys that beyondtheboxscore.com thinks will win:
-Prince Fielder, 1B,
Pertinent Stats: 39 HR, 97 RBI, 99 Ks, .376 OBP, .604 SLG, 150 OPS+(Rank: 6), 8.28 RC/27(7), 4.04 WPA(2), .316 EqA(8), 49.8 VORP(8), 5.1 WARP1(8), 39(which I got by adding 6+7+2+8+8+8) Total Rank(7).
Prince will garner a lot of attention from the BBWAA because of his gaudy counting stats (HR, RBI), especially since he leads the NL in Home Runs. Additionally, since the Milwaukee Brewers moved to the NL, the team has been a disaster, az their return to contention this season makes their offensive leader an attractive choice. I believe he's having an outstanding season at the plate, and I think he does deserve a few votes, but we'll see soon that he might not even be the top MVP candidate in his own infield.
-Ryan Howard, 1B, Philadelphia PhilliesPertinent Stats: 34 HR, 106 RBI, 1 SB, 152 Ks, .388 OBP, .566 SLG, 142 OPS+(10), 7.77 RC/27(10), 1.88 WPA(9), .310 EqA(10), 39.2 VORP(10), 4.7 WARP1(9), 38 Total Rank(10).
Umm, he doesn't even belong in the discussion. He is 2nd on this list in HR, Walks, and RBI, which is pretty good, I guess... but he's either last or next to last in all the Sabermetric stats. That's not to say that he's having a poor season, not at all! He's just not the MVP.
Now let's move on to the real contenders:
-Matt Holliday, LF, Colorado Rockies
Pertinent Stats: 44 2Bs, 24 HR, 103 RBI, 102 Ks, .338 BA, .397 OBP, .580 SLG, 144 OPS+(9), 8.26 RC/27(8), 2.98 WPA(7), .313 EqA(9), 53.5 VORP(7), 7.4 WARP1(7), 47 Total Rank(9).
Man, he's just getting crushed by Coors Field. He has very nice numbers in all the counting stats, but the normalized Sabermetric stats are really penalizing him for his ballpark. Although his WPA is still low on the list, az maybe he deserves to be low on here. He also plays brutal defense, although I haven't been able to get any Zone Rating data, etc.
-Chase Utley, 2B,
Pertinent Stats: 42 2Bs, 18 HR, 84 RBI, .339 BA, .416 OBP, .592 SLG, 156 OPS+(5), 10.24 RC/27(2), 3.07 WPA(6), .327 EqA(4), 57.9 VORP(4), 7.2 WARP1(5), 26 Total Rank(5).
Utley is an interesting case because he's been injured for the last six weeks, but he's still managed to accrue some very nice stats, especially for a 2nd baseman. However, the time he's missed has affected his Sabermetric cumulative stats (VORP and WARP1), and he also gets marked down by the Citizen's Bank band-box in which he plays. Nonetheless, his rate stats (RC/27 and EqA) are outstanding, and his performance over the last month of the season could push him over the top. I love Max Kellerman, but each time he says that Robby Cano is a better hitter than Utley, I lose a little bit of faith in him.
-Albert Pujols, 1B,
Pertinent Stats: 30 HR, 84 RBI, 79 BBs, 54 Ks, .319 BA, .420 OBP, .568 SLG, 157 OPS+(4), 8.19 RC/27(9), 3.64 WPA(3), .330 EqA(3), 56.9 VORP(5), 9.2 WARP1(1), 25 Total Rank(3).
Jesus, he is such a good hitter. He started off the season in a horrible slump, but has come back since June with a vengeance. He leads the NL in WARP1, he never EVER strikes out, and according to soulofbaseball.blogspot.com, he's the top fielding 1st baseman in the league. I don't quite know why RC/27 doesn't like him, but since that's like my favorite stat, that's going to count heavily against him. I think he might very well deserve to be the MVP, but the BBWAA won't vote for him because he doesn't have many RBI, and his team has not played well this year.
-Miguel Cabrera, 3B,
Pertinent Stats: 30 HR, 91 RBI, 104 Ks, .318 BA, .397 OBP, .585 SLG, 158 OPS+(3), 8.43 RC/27(6), 3.49 WPA(4), .329 EqA(2), 60.9 VORP(2), 8.1 WARP1(2), 19 Total Rank(2).
What an excellent year he's having! It's really a shame that the Marlins pitching staff isn't nearly as good as it was last year, because if they made a playoff push, Cabrera would absolutely be the MVP if I had to choose. The only things that go against him are his RC/27 and his horrid play in the field. Again, I don't have any zone rating stats, but I've watched him play a lot, and I see that he has almost no range to his left or right, and watching him lumber in on a bunt is like watching an elephant on a nature show. Either way, he's still one of the best mashers in all of baseball.
-Hanley Ramirez, SS,
Pertinent Stats: 101 Runs, 23 HR, 41 SB, .331 BA, .389 OBP, .558 SLG, 149 OPS+(7), 8.54 RC/27(5), 2.06 WPA(8), .318 EqA(7), 71.0 VORP(1), 6.6 WARP1(6), 34 Total Rank(6).
This guy sure does bring a lot to the table. He hits Home Runs, he steals a lot of bases, he gets on base, and all of these contribute to his league leading VORP. If he could develop a little more plate discipline (44 Walks) and learn how to play shortstop (even worse than Jeter according to Soul of Baseball), he could truly become the best all around player in baseball. He might be already.
-David Wright, 3B, New York Mets
Pertinent Stats: 23 HR, 86 RBI, 28 SB, 77 BBs, 102 Ks, .316 BA, .410 OBP, .530 SLG, 149 OPS+(7), 8.78 RC/27(3), 3.16 WPA(5), .327 EqA(4), 60.8 VORP(3), 7.6 WARP1(3), 25 Total Rank(3).
He's my favorite player. It's really a crying shame that he doesn't have more RBI because he's really putting together a memorable season. His plate discipline has become terrific, and he's one of the top fielding 3rd basemen in the league. He's very close to projecting to 30 HR/30 SB this year, which would be quite a feat. He really knows how to run the bases, and really picks his spots well (28 SB, 4 CS). Combining his offense and defense makes him a very strong MVP candidate, but I still have to go with Cabrera this season.
And now, for fun:
-Ryan Braun, 3B, Milwaukee Brewers
Pertinent Stats: 82 Games, 332 ABs, 25 HR, 11 SB, .334 BA, .378 OBP, .648 SLG, 161 OPS+(2), 8.69 RC/27(7), 1.30 WPA(10), .327 EqA(4), 46.4 VORP(9), 3.5 WARP1(10), 42 Total Rank(8).
If only he was the starter for the whole season... It's amazing that he's even better than Ryan Howard in VORP, which is a cumulative stat. He has the highest SLG in the NL, and is on pace to set the rookie record for SLG. And he's Jewish! Check his page on wikipedia (Hebrew Hammer, Hah!)
-Barry Bonds, LF, San Francisco Giants
Pertinent Stats: 27 HR, 64 RBI, 126 BBs, .495 OBP, .595 SLG, 184 OPS+(1), 40 IBB, 11.35 RC/27(1), 4.53 WPA(1), .368 EqA(1), 55.9 VORP(6), 6.2 WARP1(7), 17 Total Rank(1).
Even at 43 he's playing a different game than everyone else. It's absolutely ridiculous that he's still performing at such a high level. If he wasn't a huge jerk and a cheater he'd get a ton of votes. I hate him.
Az here's what I think:
Should win: Miguel Cabrera
I want to win: David Wright
Will win: Prince Fielder
Monday, August 27, 2007
Adventures with Cell Phones
Let's rewind. Around ten weeks ago, I finally switched my mobile phone service from AT&T/Cingular to Verizon Wireless. I used to have a great phone, the Samsung D900, the slimmest slider phone available at the time. It had a 3.0 megapixel camera, it played mp3s, and it had bluetooth technology. It came with all the software and wires that you needed to transfer pictures and music between the phone and your computer. It could even hold around 12 songs in its internal memory. The only accessories I bought were a car charger and an adapter that enables you to use regular headphones to listen to music. Once I switched to Verizon, I decided I needed a phone that was, at the very least, only slightly less awesome than my old one, az I got a Moto KRZR. I was pretty pleased with it for a while, az I went ahead and bought a few accessories for it. I bought a car charger, and I also got this cheap CD and cable so that I could transfer songs from my computer. See, these new Verizon phones all have VCast, which allows you to download songs and such. What they don't tell you is that in order to take full advantage of VCast you need to buy the Verizon music kit, which is designed specifically for each phone. I obviously didn't want to spend the $30 on it, az I bought that cheap kit online. Needless to say it didn't work. I also bought an SD memory card, because unlike the old Samsung D900, the Verizon phones can only hold like three songs. Meanwhile, I determined after a couple of weeks that I didn't really like the phone, az I went ahead and exchanged it for the far-cooler LG VX8700, the prom queen of phones, as I mentioned previously. Az it became a waste for me to have bought the KRZR car kit and the music kit. Fine, they didn't cost that much. No big deal. Az now I have the LG, and I know two other people who have the same one, az I asked them if they have the music kit, and lo and behold, one of them did! Az I borrowed the kit from her and attempted to use the software and cable to put some songs onto my phone. The SD card I had bought worked for this phone too, az I figured I was set. Well, needless to say, again, that didn't work either. At this point I'm thinking, "screw it, I'll just buy another used ipod on ebay." But I really have no business spending that much money right now, especially since I already invested so much effort into getting the phone to work. Az I spoke to another friend, and he said I should just buy a card reader/adapter for my computer. That way, I could take the SD card out of my phone and attach it directly to my computer and put songs on it. Az that's what I did; I went to Radio Shack today and bought the adapter for like $10. I figure even if it doesn't work for the music I could still use it for transferring pictures or something; it's a useful item regardless. I came home after work and plugged in the adapter, and put the card in it, and it worked! I put like 25 songs on the card and replaced it in my phone. I started up the music player and a not-so-terrible sound came out of the phone's speakers. So far so good. Now the phone comes with an adapter for headphones, az I plugged the adapter into the phone. Then, as expected, I hit the next snag; the outlet on the adapter only fits 2.5 mm headphones. 99.9% of headphones are 3.5 mm. Why the hell do they do that?! Seriously, I went to a website to see if I could get some help, and this is what it said on a site that reviewed my phone:
"In fact, the retail package includes only a charger and a headphone adapter, and the adapter only accepts 2.5mm headphones. As the phone is branded a "V Cast Music Phone," we think this omission borders on false advertising. We can think of no dedicated music player that lacks memory, a transfer cable and a pair of headphones, but still Verizon Wireless sells these as separate "accessories." We can't say it enough, this is an unacceptable nickel-and-dime practice, and phones that are advertised as music devices will always lose points in our ratings if they lack the essentials needed to actually listen to music."
Now I'm really at my wit's end. I planned to go to Target to pick up a few odds and ends (mostly odd, not so much end), az I went to Radio Shack next door to buy a 2.5/3.5 mm adapter. I literally asked the guy 19 times if it was the item I needed, and he was absolutely certain it was. Az I get home and I plug the adapter into the adapter, and plug my headphones into the new adapter. Guess what? I only heard sound through one of the ear pieces. Az I borrowed my roommate's headphones to try to determine which was the defective part. His headphones didn't work either, az now I think there's a problem with the phone. I think I'm gonna go to the Verizon store tomorrow and ask them what I should do. If they tell me to buy their music kit, which comes with their headphones, I just might throw a temper tantrum. Why oh why did I leave you, my precious AT&T/Cingular? I feel as though I've betrayed you. Please forgive me. I'll be back in a little less than two years; I promise.
"In fact, the retail package includes only a charger and a headphone adapter, and the adapter only accepts 2.5mm headphones. As the phone is branded a "V Cast Music Phone," we think this omission borders on false advertising. We can think of no dedicated music player that lacks memory, a transfer cable and a pair of headphones, but still Verizon Wireless sells these as separate "accessories." We can't say it enough, this is an unacceptable nickel-and-dime practice, and phones that are advertised as music devices will always lose points in our ratings if they lack the essentials needed to actually listen to music."
Now I'm really at my wit's end. I planned to go to Target to pick up a few odds and ends (mostly odd, not so much end), az I went to Radio Shack next door to buy a 2.5/3.5 mm adapter. I literally asked the guy 19 times if it was the item I needed, and he was absolutely certain it was. Az I get home and I plug the adapter into the adapter, and plug my headphones into the new adapter. Guess what? I only heard sound through one of the ear pieces. Az I borrowed my roommate's headphones to try to determine which was the defective part. His headphones didn't work either, az now I think there's a problem with the phone. I think I'm gonna go to the Verizon store tomorrow and ask them what I should do. If they tell me to buy their music kit, which comes with their headphones, I just might throw a temper tantrum. Why oh why did I leave you, my precious AT&T/Cingular? I feel as though I've betrayed you. Please forgive me. I'll be back in a little less than two years; I promise.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Questions
Firstly, the first anniversary of my blog came and went without much fanfare last Thursday. Happy Birthday Schmuttblog! I didn't think you'd make it.
Anyway, I have noticed that there are certain questions people ask you, which are absolutely not fair. When people ask you these questions, they already assume that they know the answer, and no matter what your response is, they'll never change their minds, despite all anecdotal evidence to the contrary.
This one is an obvious one, and only applies when a woman is asking you: "Do you think I'm fat?" Never EVER answer this question. If you say "yes" then you're obviously a huge jerk and have absolutely earned a non-derech chiba smack in the face. But if you say "no," often times you'll be accused of lying and then you're in trouble because not only do you think she's fat, but also you lied to her face. See, women who ask you this ALWAYS think they're fat. Best to avoid answering this question if possible using one of the standard evasion methods: pretend you have a phone call, pretend you didn't hear the question, or pretend you need to use the bathroom.
The other two questions can come from members of either gender. The reason I bring up this discussion is because I had to deal with this question numerous times last night at my friend's wedding. "Have you had too much to drink?" Now, to be fair, I have developed a bit of a reputation as someone who enjoys a scotch from time to time, which is absolutely true, but I'm also an extremely responsible driver, az I feel completely confident that having one drink over a five hour span will not affect my driving. But someone who asks me that automatically assumes that I've had too much to drink and I'm only saying that I haven't because I want to be able to drive. Implying that someone has had too much to drink can be extremely offensive because there's no way to convince them otherwise. If you've been drinking, then unless you're completely plastered you won't admit that you're drunk. Feh!
This last one is a bit more innocuous, but can still be irritating: "do you like that girl?" As I said earlier, no one is asking you this question unless they think the answer is "yes." Now, if you say "yes" then you don't even get any credit for correctly responding, because the one who asked you will say something like "hah! I knew it!" and then act like it was his/her idea all along. But if you say "no," then the asker will say something like "okay, whatever you say..." and walk away smiling because he/she's positive you're lying. And then the only thing you can do is stand there, roll your eyes, turn your face up to shamayim and ask "why me?"
Tell me I'm wrong.
Anyway, I have noticed that there are certain questions people ask you, which are absolutely not fair. When people ask you these questions, they already assume that they know the answer, and no matter what your response is, they'll never change their minds, despite all anecdotal evidence to the contrary.
This one is an obvious one, and only applies when a woman is asking you: "Do you think I'm fat?" Never EVER answer this question. If you say "yes" then you're obviously a huge jerk and have absolutely earned a non-derech chiba smack in the face. But if you say "no," often times you'll be accused of lying and then you're in trouble because not only do you think she's fat, but also you lied to her face. See, women who ask you this ALWAYS think they're fat. Best to avoid answering this question if possible using one of the standard evasion methods: pretend you have a phone call, pretend you didn't hear the question, or pretend you need to use the bathroom.
The other two questions can come from members of either gender. The reason I bring up this discussion is because I had to deal with this question numerous times last night at my friend's wedding. "Have you had too much to drink?" Now, to be fair, I have developed a bit of a reputation as someone who enjoys a scotch from time to time, which is absolutely true, but I'm also an extremely responsible driver, az I feel completely confident that having one drink over a five hour span will not affect my driving. But someone who asks me that automatically assumes that I've had too much to drink and I'm only saying that I haven't because I want to be able to drive. Implying that someone has had too much to drink can be extremely offensive because there's no way to convince them otherwise. If you've been drinking, then unless you're completely plastered you won't admit that you're drunk. Feh!
This last one is a bit more innocuous, but can still be irritating: "do you like that girl?" As I said earlier, no one is asking you this question unless they think the answer is "yes." Now, if you say "yes" then you don't even get any credit for correctly responding, because the one who asked you will say something like "hah! I knew it!" and then act like it was his/her idea all along. But if you say "no," then the asker will say something like "okay, whatever you say..." and walk away smiling because he/she's positive you're lying. And then the only thing you can do is stand there, roll your eyes, turn your face up to shamayim and ask "why me?"
Tell me I'm wrong.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Malevolent
This morning I drove to work because I'm going straight to a wedding by the Jersey Shore. Now as everyone knows, you absolutely cannot park anywhere in midtown and it's foolish to even try, az I parked on 9th avenue and 45th street, roughly a 12 minute walk from my office. I drove two other guys down with me and we all got out of the car and started walking towards our offices. Around half a block away from the car I started to get the nagging feeling that I forgot to lock the car. That's the sort of thing that can drive a person mad over a period of several hours. Az I left work at around 11:45 for "lunch" and went to check the car. Obviously I remembered to lock it, az of course it was still there. I guess I'd gladly trade half an hour for some peace of mind.
Several months ago on Mike and Mike in the morning on ESPN Radio, the guys were trying to determine what word they should use to describe pitchers/pitches that are particularly difficult to hit. Baseball Tonight has a segment called "That's Nasty" where they show highlights of these pitchers/pitches. People e-mailed in suggestions to the Mikes such as "filthy," "raunchy," and "redonkulous." Some of those were okay, but the best I've heard is what I saw today in Bill Simmons's mailbag on ESPN.com. When referring to Joba Chamberlain's pitching, he says his stuff is "positively malevolent." Wow. Most of the adjectives they use have the connotation of physical cleanliness, but this takes it into the realm of good and evil. I never thought about a pitcher actually being a bad man when he throws certain pitches, but I like it.
On the topic of words, remember way way back, many centuries ago, not long after the bible began, my third post was about words I need to use more often. Well I was reading "The Guns of Avalon" by Roger Zelazny this week, and I came across an awesome word that I'll need to begin using immediately. One of the characters had called someone else a "ratfink" and the other character said that he was not familiar with that term of "opprobrium."
Opprobrium:
Disgrace arising from exceedingly shameful conduct; ignominy.
Scornful reproach or contempt: a term of opprobrium.
A cause of shame or disgrace.
Man, did Joba Chamberlain throw that pitch with opprobrium.
Several months ago on Mike and Mike in the morning on ESPN Radio, the guys were trying to determine what word they should use to describe pitchers/pitches that are particularly difficult to hit. Baseball Tonight has a segment called "That's Nasty" where they show highlights of these pitchers/pitches. People e-mailed in suggestions to the Mikes such as "filthy," "raunchy," and "redonkulous." Some of those were okay, but the best I've heard is what I saw today in Bill Simmons's mailbag on ESPN.com. When referring to Joba Chamberlain's pitching, he says his stuff is "positively malevolent." Wow. Most of the adjectives they use have the connotation of physical cleanliness, but this takes it into the realm of good and evil. I never thought about a pitcher actually being a bad man when he throws certain pitches, but I like it.
On the topic of words, remember way way back, many centuries ago, not long after the bible began, my third post was about words I need to use more often. Well I was reading "The Guns of Avalon" by Roger Zelazny this week, and I came across an awesome word that I'll need to begin using immediately. One of the characters had called someone else a "ratfink" and the other character said that he was not familiar with that term of "opprobrium."
Opprobrium:
Disgrace arising from exceedingly shameful conduct; ignominy.
Scornful reproach or contempt: a term of opprobrium.
A cause of shame or disgrace.
Man, did Joba Chamberlain throw that pitch with opprobrium.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Just Churning Out Some More Insanity
I have a few entirely unrelated things to discuss today.
Rick Ankiel! Come on down! You're the next contestant on "The Price is Right!" Speaking of which, how the hell is Drew Carey going to replace Bob Barker as the host? He's awful! He was terrible on "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Whatever, totally off subject. Anyway, yesterday marked the return of Rick Ankiel to the Major Leagues. Now before I scare all of you away (blah blah blah, more sports, I hate you Schmutter, write more about the A-train, write a song about me, send Trogdor over to my house, put on a purple thing and dance around. Well I've had it! I will never ever ever ever ever write a song about Sibbie. See SB E-mail #76 "Sibbie." Wow, been a long time since I had a Homestar Runner reference.), this is not a rant about statistics or bad sports writing/commentating; it's a feel good story about a man. Rick Ankiel was drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals in 1997, and in 1998 was their Minor League Player of the Year. In 1999 he was named the Minor League Player of the year for the entire Minor Leagues, az the Cards called him up to the Show in 1999. He had a very respectable first season in the Majors, posting high strikeout totals and an 11-7 record. He continued to pitch well in his second year and his team made the playoffs. The manager selected him to start the first game of the NLDS agains the Braves, and he began the game fairly well, but in the third inning, Ankiel absolutely fell apart. Little did anyone know that this was the beginning of the end of his pitching career. Here's how the third inning went down for Ankiel:
1. Greg Maddux walks
2. Rafael Furcal pops out in foul territory (1 out)
3. Wild pitch to Andruw Jones (Maddux advances to second base)
4. Wild pitch to Andruw Jones (Maddux advances to third base)
5. Andruw Jones walks
6. Wild pitch to Chipper Jones (A. Jones advances to second base)
7. Chipper Jones strikes out (2 outs)
8. Andres Galarraga walks, wild pitch on Ball Four (Maddux scores, A. Jones advances to third base)
9. Brian Jordan singles (A. Jones scores, Galarraga advances to second base)
10. Wild pitch to Reggie Sanders (Galarraga advances to third base, Jordan advances to second base)
11. Reggie Sanders walks
12. Walt Weiss singles (Galarraga scores, Jordan scores, Sanders advances to second base)
And then he finally gets replaced. No one knows why he was suddenly unable to pitch; his mechanics didn't change and he was completely healthy. He just couldn't pitch anymore. Since then he's been up to the Majors a few times, but continued to throw wildly. He was sent down as far as the Rookie Leagues, playing with kids right out of high school. During his time in the Minor Leagues he worked on his hitting and in 2005 after his recovery from Tommy John surgery he decided to abandon pitching and tried to reinvent himself as a slugging outfielder. His progress was delayed because of knee surgery in May of 2006, but was healthy enough to continue playing at the start of the 2007 season. He began the season at AAA Memphis, and through August 8th hit .267 with 32 Home Runs and 89 RsBI. He played a quite respectable outfield too with only seven errors in 95 games. He finally returned to the Major Leagues on August 9th and got one hit in four at-bats against the San Diego Padres. His one hit was a three-run homer to deep right field, and the Cardinals went on to defeat the Padres 5-0. I'm going to leave it as it is for now and let each of you come up with your own superlatives about this story.
Moving right along, I was reading The Soul of Baseball blog by Tom Posnanski online today, as I often do, and he made some comments about today's society. He mentioned that we have so much available to us today that we don't even need to be exposed to things with which we might disagree or things we dislike if we don't want to be. For example, he was at a restaurant and he heard a Billy Joel song playing on the radio there. It was the first time he had heard this song for like 15 years, because he is entirely in control of the music to which he listens. What he means is that you can listen to only the music you want because of Ipods and satellite radio, etc. I only take note of this story because something similar happened to me this week. My friend picked me up from work on Wednesday and I was looking through her CD collection to see if there was anything worth hearing, and I found the first Shalsheles CD. Az I popped it in the player and listened to Mi Ho'ish for a minute or two before deciding to switch to song eight, Asher Bara. Now over the past six years or so I've copied numerous CDs onto my computer. When I first copied Shalsheles 1 all those years ago, I deliberately did NOT copy Asher Bara; it's just that bad. Every couple of years I manage to get my hands on that CD and decide to listen to that song on the off chance that I've been wrong all these years. Nope, it's really an awful song. Yitzchok Rosenthal should really just stick to composing the songs and quit singing them. He has a decent voice like I have a decent voice, but his talents really lie in writing songs.
As I mentioned in an e-mail last night, we're rapidly approaching the best time of the year on the sports calendar. Yes, my friends, as the baseball season heads into the home stretch of the pennant races, the clock is ticking down to the opening kickoff of football season. That being said, I'm trying to organize both a Fantasy Football league and an Eliminator league. The purpose of this post is not to promote my leagues, but if any of you or your friends want to join please let me know. What I AM trying to accomplish with this post is to obtain some help from you. Here's the thing: last year I was involved in two fantasy football leagues. Fantasy football is really awesome, but it can be extremely nerve-wracking and time consuming. Last year I invited my friend and his infant son to come over to my apartment to watch the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets one Sunday. Let's just say that he was really giving me a hard time because I was barely watching the game; I spent the majority of the time following the stats from all the other games going on to see how well my fantasy players were doing. Az please, friends, don't let me fall into the same routine this year. Seriously, at like 1:45 every Sunday, give me a call and ask me what the score is and how many yards Chad Pennington and Thomas Jones have accumulated. Thanks.
Rick Ankiel! Come on down! You're the next contestant on "The Price is Right!" Speaking of which, how the hell is Drew Carey going to replace Bob Barker as the host? He's awful! He was terrible on "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Whatever, totally off subject. Anyway, yesterday marked the return of Rick Ankiel to the Major Leagues. Now before I scare all of you away (blah blah blah, more sports, I hate you Schmutter, write more about the A-train, write a song about me, send Trogdor over to my house, put on a purple thing and dance around. Well I've had it! I will never ever ever ever ever write a song about Sibbie. See SB E-mail #76 "Sibbie." Wow, been a long time since I had a Homestar Runner reference.), this is not a rant about statistics or bad sports writing/commentating; it's a feel good story about a man. Rick Ankiel was drafted by the St. Louis Cardinals in 1997, and in 1998 was their Minor League Player of the Year. In 1999 he was named the Minor League Player of the year for the entire Minor Leagues, az the Cards called him up to the Show in 1999. He had a very respectable first season in the Majors, posting high strikeout totals and an 11-7 record. He continued to pitch well in his second year and his team made the playoffs. The manager selected him to start the first game of the NLDS agains the Braves, and he began the game fairly well, but in the third inning, Ankiel absolutely fell apart. Little did anyone know that this was the beginning of the end of his pitching career. Here's how the third inning went down for Ankiel:
1. Greg Maddux walks
2. Rafael Furcal pops out in foul territory (1 out)
3. Wild pitch to Andruw Jones (Maddux advances to second base)
4. Wild pitch to Andruw Jones (Maddux advances to third base)
5. Andruw Jones walks
6. Wild pitch to Chipper Jones (A. Jones advances to second base)
7. Chipper Jones strikes out (2 outs)
8. Andres Galarraga walks, wild pitch on Ball Four (Maddux scores, A. Jones advances to third base)
9. Brian Jordan singles (A. Jones scores, Galarraga advances to second base)
10. Wild pitch to Reggie Sanders (Galarraga advances to third base, Jordan advances to second base)
11. Reggie Sanders walks
12. Walt Weiss singles (Galarraga scores, Jordan scores, Sanders advances to second base)
And then he finally gets replaced. No one knows why he was suddenly unable to pitch; his mechanics didn't change and he was completely healthy. He just couldn't pitch anymore. Since then he's been up to the Majors a few times, but continued to throw wildly. He was sent down as far as the Rookie Leagues, playing with kids right out of high school. During his time in the Minor Leagues he worked on his hitting and in 2005 after his recovery from Tommy John surgery he decided to abandon pitching and tried to reinvent himself as a slugging outfielder. His progress was delayed because of knee surgery in May of 2006, but was healthy enough to continue playing at the start of the 2007 season. He began the season at AAA Memphis, and through August 8th hit .267 with 32 Home Runs and 89 RsBI. He played a quite respectable outfield too with only seven errors in 95 games. He finally returned to the Major Leagues on August 9th and got one hit in four at-bats against the San Diego Padres. His one hit was a three-run homer to deep right field, and the Cardinals went on to defeat the Padres 5-0. I'm going to leave it as it is for now and let each of you come up with your own superlatives about this story.
Moving right along, I was reading The Soul of Baseball blog by Tom Posnanski online today, as I often do, and he made some comments about today's society. He mentioned that we have so much available to us today that we don't even need to be exposed to things with which we might disagree or things we dislike if we don't want to be. For example, he was at a restaurant and he heard a Billy Joel song playing on the radio there. It was the first time he had heard this song for like 15 years, because he is entirely in control of the music to which he listens. What he means is that you can listen to only the music you want because of Ipods and satellite radio, etc. I only take note of this story because something similar happened to me this week. My friend picked me up from work on Wednesday and I was looking through her CD collection to see if there was anything worth hearing, and I found the first Shalsheles CD. Az I popped it in the player and listened to Mi Ho'ish for a minute or two before deciding to switch to song eight, Asher Bara. Now over the past six years or so I've copied numerous CDs onto my computer. When I first copied Shalsheles 1 all those years ago, I deliberately did NOT copy Asher Bara; it's just that bad. Every couple of years I manage to get my hands on that CD and decide to listen to that song on the off chance that I've been wrong all these years. Nope, it's really an awful song. Yitzchok Rosenthal should really just stick to composing the songs and quit singing them. He has a decent voice like I have a decent voice, but his talents really lie in writing songs.
As I mentioned in an e-mail last night, we're rapidly approaching the best time of the year on the sports calendar. Yes, my friends, as the baseball season heads into the home stretch of the pennant races, the clock is ticking down to the opening kickoff of football season. That being said, I'm trying to organize both a Fantasy Football league and an Eliminator league. The purpose of this post is not to promote my leagues, but if any of you or your friends want to join please let me know. What I AM trying to accomplish with this post is to obtain some help from you. Here's the thing: last year I was involved in two fantasy football leagues. Fantasy football is really awesome, but it can be extremely nerve-wracking and time consuming. Last year I invited my friend and his infant son to come over to my apartment to watch the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets one Sunday. Let's just say that he was really giving me a hard time because I was barely watching the game; I spent the majority of the time following the stats from all the other games going on to see how well my fantasy players were doing. Az please, friends, don't let me fall into the same routine this year. Seriously, at like 1:45 every Sunday, give me a call and ask me what the score is and how many yards Chad Pennington and Thomas Jones have accumulated. Thanks.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Ridiculous
And no, I'm not trying to exorcise some boggarts. Hehe, get it? It's a Harry Potter joke! See how into pop-culture I am?
Wow, I need to spend the next several minutes hanging my head in shame.
Anyway, what actually was ridiculous was this morning's commute. The purpose of this post is not to tell the story of my commute, since I'm sure that most people have similar stories. By the time I get to the end of the story, you'll know why I'm telling it; it just had this one hilarious, brilliant moment. Here goes:
I got on the A train at 181st street at the usual time, around 8:25ish, and the doors were closing just as I got on. I usually try to walk as far south as I can because that's where I need to be to exit the station. Az at 175th street I get out of my current car and move to the next car. I bump into my friend and we chat a little bit, and soon the train arrives at 168th street. We waited there for about 15 minutes listening to the voice over the PA system telling us that the entire subway system is flooded from the torrential rains earlier that morning. So much for the downtown A experience, right? Anyway, my friend persuades me to go with him to the 1 train to see if we have more luck. Obviously we didn't and we ended up going back to the A train. We just missed getting back on our own train and had to wait 15 minutes for another one. Now we're riding downtown, stopping for a few minutes at each station. Finally, we get down close to 59th street, and the train stops for about 10 minutes twice just as we're closing in on the station. At this point everyone knows that it's the last stop on the train, and no one's complaining that they can't ride farther, because everyone is so hot by now that they can't wait to get off that G-d forsaken subway. Nonetheless, and this is the hilarious part, when the subway doors open, a woman sitting on one of the benches declares "getting off!" This was absolutely unbelievable, and I almost lost it. Blah blah blah, then I just walked to my office from Columbus Circle and arrived at a quarter past ten. I hope the commute back is quicker.
Wow, I need to spend the next several minutes hanging my head in shame.
Anyway, what actually was ridiculous was this morning's commute. The purpose of this post is not to tell the story of my commute, since I'm sure that most people have similar stories. By the time I get to the end of the story, you'll know why I'm telling it; it just had this one hilarious, brilliant moment. Here goes:
I got on the A train at 181st street at the usual time, around 8:25ish, and the doors were closing just as I got on. I usually try to walk as far south as I can because that's where I need to be to exit the station. Az at 175th street I get out of my current car and move to the next car. I bump into my friend and we chat a little bit, and soon the train arrives at 168th street. We waited there for about 15 minutes listening to the voice over the PA system telling us that the entire subway system is flooded from the torrential rains earlier that morning. So much for the downtown A experience, right? Anyway, my friend persuades me to go with him to the 1 train to see if we have more luck. Obviously we didn't and we ended up going back to the A train. We just missed getting back on our own train and had to wait 15 minutes for another one. Now we're riding downtown, stopping for a few minutes at each station. Finally, we get down close to 59th street, and the train stops for about 10 minutes twice just as we're closing in on the station. At this point everyone knows that it's the last stop on the train, and no one's complaining that they can't ride farther, because everyone is so hot by now that they can't wait to get off that G-d forsaken subway. Nonetheless, and this is the hilarious part, when the subway doors open, a woman sitting on one of the benches declares "getting off!" This was absolutely unbelievable, and I almost lost it. Blah blah blah, then I just walked to my office from Columbus Circle and arrived at a quarter past ten. I hope the commute back is quicker.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
A-train Experience Follow-Up
Wow! I got so many comments about my last post! I hope you all responded because you enjoyed reading and not because you disagreed with anything I said. Hold on. If so many of you have ridden the A-train experience, why haven't I seen any of you on the subway? I guess I'll have to be late more often.
Anyway, since so many of you commented, I decided to do a little bit of a follow-up. I'm going to totally botch this story, but no one will know the difference. Az the story goes as follows. roughly six years ago, I went down to Florida with my mother, and we were joining my grandmother who had already been there for a few days. We flew down to Ft. Lauderdale / Hollywood International Airport on Spirit Airlines (They've got spirit, yes they do. They've got spirit, how about you?), which isn't exactly the most luxurious airline of all time, but they got the job done. Az we landed safely on the tarmac, and while we're pulling into the gate, the captain adresses us over the loud-speaker and says something a-like-a-this-a:
We hope you enjoyed your flight with Spirit Airlines today. But if you didn't
I just...I just don't really care. In fact, I care so little about what you think of
me, that I'll do whatever I want. I will now sing to you.
And the captain did just that. We all found it highly entertaining. Now THAT's the Spirit Airlines experience!
Anyway, since so many of you commented, I decided to do a little bit of a follow-up. I'm going to totally botch this story, but no one will know the difference. Az the story goes as follows. roughly six years ago, I went down to Florida with my mother, and we were joining my grandmother who had already been there for a few days. We flew down to Ft. Lauderdale / Hollywood International Airport on Spirit Airlines (They've got spirit, yes they do. They've got spirit, how about you?), which isn't exactly the most luxurious airline of all time, but they got the job done. Az we landed safely on the tarmac, and while we're pulling into the gate, the captain adresses us over the loud-speaker and says something a-like-a-this-a:
We hope you enjoyed your flight with Spirit Airlines today. But if you didn't
I just...I just don't really care. In fact, I care so little about what you think of
me, that I'll do whatever I want. I will now sing to you.
And the captain did just that. We all found it highly entertaining. Now THAT's the Spirit Airlines experience!
Monday, July 30, 2007
The A-train Experience
On the way downtown to work this morning, I was riding the A-train as I am wont to do, and over the PA system I hear "...Welcome back from your weekend. This is the downtown A experience..." Now when I first heard that, I was very pleased with how outstanding it was, and I couldn't wait to get to my computer so I could write about it. But then I thought, hold on, what if the guy just said "This is the downtown A express train," which clearly sounds similar? Then my readers would think I was a lunatic and probably make fun of me forever (which is not a dissimilar situation to the one in which I find myself with my brother, whose 1-12 DeShaws team beat my 7-5 Heights team in softball yesterday. Although I did hit 1 for 2 with a double and a walk for a BA of .500, an OBP of .667, a SLG of 1.000 and an OPS of 1.667. However, I did pop out for the last out of the game). Az I listened carefully for the announcement when it came next, and it turned out, to my immense pleasure, that I heard correctly the first time. Now obviously I wouldn't refer to my daily commute as an "experience" of any particular interest, but I found it highly entertaining all the same. I associate the word experience with an event that is unusual or extraordinary. For example, I always refer to getting ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery as an "ice cream experience." It's because it's unlike any other trip to get ice cream. You get to watch them mix in the toppings, but the ice cream doesn't melt because they do the mixing on a freezing rock. And when you give them a tip, they sing. Oh, and also the ice cream is really good. Now THAT'S an extraordinary experience. Riding the A-train is the very definition of commonplace.
Okay, now I haven't mentioned my Dvorak typing for a while, but since you asked, I'll tell you that it's going very well. I'm up to around 70 words per minute, az I'm inching my way up to where I was with Qwerty. I'm definitely noticing that it's much easier to type this way; I really barely have to move my fingers at all. Now when I watch someone else type Qwerty I definitely notice how hard they're working when they type. Anyway, you know how when people are typing quickly and not-so-carefully, like when they're IMing, they tend to spell things incorrectly all the time. Like they'll type something like "teh" instead of "the," or "goping" instead of "going," or "ewhat" instead of "what." You know what I'm talking about? Because of the arrangement of the keys, if you miss your button by a little bit and hit the button next to it at the same time, you'll end up putting an extra letter in here and there. Az people get used to these things because they see it so often. But since I'm typing Dvorak I write typos that look weird. Like instead of typing "going" I'll write "goidng," or instead of "what" I'll write "whtat." I might not have explained that very well at all, but what can you do? It is what it is.
That's okay if you don't get it; nothing can dampen my spirits today. I even called a girl a "primate" today, and she said that was so nice. I guess I just get into these moods sometimes. Even though Jaime and Kameron both lost in "Az You Think You Can Dance" last week, I'm still in an obscenely good mood. Maybe because we're rapidly approaching wedding season. I dunno. I just hope it lasts.
Okay, now I haven't mentioned my Dvorak typing for a while, but since you asked, I'll tell you that it's going very well. I'm up to around 70 words per minute, az I'm inching my way up to where I was with Qwerty. I'm definitely noticing that it's much easier to type this way; I really barely have to move my fingers at all. Now when I watch someone else type Qwerty I definitely notice how hard they're working when they type. Anyway, you know how when people are typing quickly and not-so-carefully, like when they're IMing, they tend to spell things incorrectly all the time. Like they'll type something like "teh" instead of "the," or "goping" instead of "going," or "ewhat" instead of "what." You know what I'm talking about? Because of the arrangement of the keys, if you miss your button by a little bit and hit the button next to it at the same time, you'll end up putting an extra letter in here and there. Az people get used to these things because they see it so often. But since I'm typing Dvorak I write typos that look weird. Like instead of typing "going" I'll write "goidng," or instead of "what" I'll write "whtat." I might not have explained that very well at all, but what can you do? It is what it is.
That's okay if you don't get it; nothing can dampen my spirits today. I even called a girl a "primate" today, and she said that was so nice. I guess I just get into these moods sometimes. Even though Jaime and Kameron both lost in "Az You Think You Can Dance" last week, I'm still in an obscenely good mood. Maybe because we're rapidly approaching wedding season. I dunno. I just hope it lasts.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Sub-standard Subway Riding
Last night was my latest night since I started my current job. It started off innocently enough after work when I had an hour and a quarter to kill. Az I went over to Park Avenue Liquor and bought a nice bottle for my friend's aufruf, and then sat in Bryant Park reading Harry Potter for another half an hour. Then I walked over to Mendy's 34th street for a friend's birthday. Once that ended, at around 8:15, another friend, who incidentally had been sitting in Bryant Park reading Harry Potter, called me up to see if I wanted to go see the Harry Potter movie. Az we went, and the movie let out at around midnight. Once we were out, we headed to the A-train to get back up to the Heights. Luckily, one came pretty quickly, an we were well on our way to having a not-so-late night. But then, disaster struck. At 168th street, the PA system announced that this was the last stop, az we reluctantly got off and walked over to the 1-train. At this point we were pretty tired, and we (I) didn't notice that we were standing on the downtown track, az we watched two uptown trains go by and finally got on a downtown train. By the time we reached 157th street we realized our error. After waiting another 20 minutes our train finally came, and I ended up getting back to my apartment at about 1:30. I can't remember the last time I wore a suit and tie (and socks) for 17 hours straight; believe me, it's not so pleasant. Good thing my roommate wasn't awake and doesn't read my blog or have facebook, because otherwise he would know that I accidentally left my dirty, smelly socks on his desk chair. Okay...TMI...anyway...
I'm ashamed to say that this is not the first time I took the wrong train. Allow me to be self-effacing for a few short paragraphs, so that you can all laugh at me the next time you see me. I deserve it for forcing y'all to read my sports ramblings for the last coupla weeks. Enjoy. In reverse chronological order:
A few weeks ago, I was on the way back from work, and as usual, I took the B-train from 47-50th streets two stops to 59th street Columbus Circle. I walked across the platform intending to get on the A-train, but I completely and utterly forgot that the D-train runs on the same track. Az there I am, riding the D-train, rereading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on a hot, crowded train full of, erm, non-mosaic faithful (usually the second car on the A-train is full of tribe members), when we arrive at 167th street in the Bronx. I mean it wasn't a big deal; I just turned around, but it really was deathly hot. I got back on the Manhattan-bound D-train and got off at 145th street and waited for the A-train. the annoying part was that the A-train didn't come for like 15 minutes, and I was sweating like a motherf**ker in my suit. And then, to top it all off, the train that came wasn't air-conditioned. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore. That was really the only time I was on the wrong train all by myself. It's much easier to cope with these situations when you're with people, unless they're constantly busting your chops about being the dude who actually grew up in Manhattan and managed to get everyone lost. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I guess about a year and a half ago I met a friend for dinner down at Noah's Ark on the Lower East Side. The food was really not good; the country-fried steak was the driest piece of meat I ever had. Anyway, he had to go back to Riverdale, and I was going back to my parents' apartment on the Upper East Side, az I decided to ride the J or M train with him for a coupla stops and then transfer to the 6-train. Anyway, somehow we ended up on the wrong track and took the train one stop into Brooklyn. It was quite embarrassing, especially considering my aforementioned Manhattan roots, his major in Civil Engineering, and the fact that he works in Brooklyn.
Now these next two are the worst ones. My junior year of college (I believe), I went with some friends on a Saturday night to J2 for one of their birthdays. The birthday girl also invited some of her friends from nearby Stern College, az after we were through we walked them back to their dormitories because it was late. Now, there's no really good way to get from 37th street and 3rd avenue to 116th street and Broadway, az I was forced to improvise. We walked over to Grand Central Terminal and took the 7-train towards Times Square intending to transfer to the 1-train. However, for some reason, we got on the Queens-bound 7-train. We realized our error when we noticed that the train hadn't yet reached its first stop, which was supposed to be 5th avenue, a very quick stop. Az we reached the first stop in Queens and got off. We asked the station attendant what to do, and he said we should wait for the next train, and at the next stop we should transfer in the reverse direction. Of course, it would have been convenient if we had stayed on the train to begin with, because now we had to wait 15 minutes for another train, and then wait another 20 for the train in the reverse direction. Anyway, after all that insanity, we all got back to Columbia at like 4:30 am. At least that trip was fun.
My freshman year of college, a few weeks after the attacks of 9/11, I went with several friends to J2 (again). Now because of the attacks, all of the subways were screwed up, az on the way back to Columbia we took the 2 express train, which happened to be running on the local track. We reached 96th street still on the local track, az I suggested we just stay on the train until 116th street. Obviously, I was horribly wrong, and the next stop was 110th street and Lenox avenue. It would have been extremely bright if we had just gotten on the reverse train back to 96th street, but I insisted we just walk. Az I led everyone to 114th street so that we could turn westwards and go straight to Carman Hall on Broadway. But I forgot about Morningside Park! Few times in my life have I ever felt as uncomfortable as I did walking those few blocks towards the park. We arranged ourselves so that the men walked on the outside and the women (some of whom were in tears) walked on the inside. Seriously, after we arrived back safely, my roommate took it upon himself to do something special during his prayers.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed reading about my being an idiot. See, even we bloggers are fallible.
I'm ashamed to say that this is not the first time I took the wrong train. Allow me to be self-effacing for a few short paragraphs, so that you can all laugh at me the next time you see me. I deserve it for forcing y'all to read my sports ramblings for the last coupla weeks. Enjoy. In reverse chronological order:
A few weeks ago, I was on the way back from work, and as usual, I took the B-train from 47-50th streets two stops to 59th street Columbus Circle. I walked across the platform intending to get on the A-train, but I completely and utterly forgot that the D-train runs on the same track. Az there I am, riding the D-train, rereading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on a hot, crowded train full of, erm, non-mosaic faithful (usually the second car on the A-train is full of tribe members), when we arrive at 167th street in the Bronx. I mean it wasn't a big deal; I just turned around, but it really was deathly hot. I got back on the Manhattan-bound D-train and got off at 145th street and waited for the A-train. the annoying part was that the A-train didn't come for like 15 minutes, and I was sweating like a motherf**ker in my suit. And then, to top it all off, the train that came wasn't air-conditioned. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore. That was really the only time I was on the wrong train all by myself. It's much easier to cope with these situations when you're with people, unless they're constantly busting your chops about being the dude who actually grew up in Manhattan and managed to get everyone lost. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it anymore.
I guess about a year and a half ago I met a friend for dinner down at Noah's Ark on the Lower East Side. The food was really not good; the country-fried steak was the driest piece of meat I ever had. Anyway, he had to go back to Riverdale, and I was going back to my parents' apartment on the Upper East Side, az I decided to ride the J or M train with him for a coupla stops and then transfer to the 6-train. Anyway, somehow we ended up on the wrong track and took the train one stop into Brooklyn. It was quite embarrassing, especially considering my aforementioned Manhattan roots, his major in Civil Engineering, and the fact that he works in Brooklyn.
Now these next two are the worst ones. My junior year of college (I believe), I went with some friends on a Saturday night to J2 for one of their birthdays. The birthday girl also invited some of her friends from nearby Stern College, az after we were through we walked them back to their dormitories because it was late. Now, there's no really good way to get from 37th street and 3rd avenue to 116th street and Broadway, az I was forced to improvise. We walked over to Grand Central Terminal and took the 7-train towards Times Square intending to transfer to the 1-train. However, for some reason, we got on the Queens-bound 7-train. We realized our error when we noticed that the train hadn't yet reached its first stop, which was supposed to be 5th avenue, a very quick stop. Az we reached the first stop in Queens and got off. We asked the station attendant what to do, and he said we should wait for the next train, and at the next stop we should transfer in the reverse direction. Of course, it would have been convenient if we had stayed on the train to begin with, because now we had to wait 15 minutes for another train, and then wait another 20 for the train in the reverse direction. Anyway, after all that insanity, we all got back to Columbia at like 4:30 am. At least that trip was fun.
My freshman year of college, a few weeks after the attacks of 9/11, I went with several friends to J2 (again). Now because of the attacks, all of the subways were screwed up, az on the way back to Columbia we took the 2 express train, which happened to be running on the local track. We reached 96th street still on the local track, az I suggested we just stay on the train until 116th street. Obviously, I was horribly wrong, and the next stop was 110th street and Lenox avenue. It would have been extremely bright if we had just gotten on the reverse train back to 96th street, but I insisted we just walk. Az I led everyone to 114th street so that we could turn westwards and go straight to Carman Hall on Broadway. But I forgot about Morningside Park! Few times in my life have I ever felt as uncomfortable as I did walking those few blocks towards the park. We arranged ourselves so that the men walked on the outside and the women (some of whom were in tears) walked on the inside. Seriously, after we arrived back safely, my roommate took it upon himself to do something special during his prayers.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed reading about my being an idiot. See, even we bloggers are fallible.
Friday, July 20, 2007
A Long Post Zecher L'Mikdash
No, I'm not going to be writing a depressing post; I just thought it would be unseemly to go through this sad period in our history without at least reminding everyone (myself included) that despite how awesome our lives are (and they are), we mustn't place anything above our memory of Jerusalem the Holy City.
With that bit of important business out of the way, I'd like to turn my attention to a few far less important (though no less inspiring) items about which I've been musing for the past couple of days. There are very few worldwide holidays; most holidays are confined to a religion or a country, but tomorrow, Saturday, July 21st, 2007, might just transcend all other days. Yes, my friends, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" hits bookshelves and delivery trucks at midnight! Who could have known that in the era of ipods (need a new one) and iphones (I'm not cool enough) and HDTV (awesome) and DVR (don't know how I lived without it), that the most exciting product available to consumers (a claim based on no statistical research whatsoever) would be a mere book. A collection of words. Strings of letters printed on recyled paper. Things that have existed for millenia (I'm so freakin excited that I'm typing in sentence fragments). Honestly, I'm beside myself. Seriously, the last author to have such an effect on so many people was D (of J, E, P, and D fame), and his (their?) existence is merely conjecture. J.K. Rowling is actually a) the richest woman in the United Kingdom, and b) G-d (also conjecture). It wouldn't surprise me to learn that in reality, Ms. Rowling is creating an army with which she can ascend up to Shamayim and supplant the Big Man as the supreme Power in the universe, and that her books are a source of spreading unspeakable evil among the Earth's inhabitants. Now, I'm clearly just rambling.
Now just imagining the crowds of people who will be waiting outside local Barnes and Noble'ses starting at, oh around...now, gives me the jibblies. It reminds me of an interesting phenomenon common to New York City. Just yesterday evening I was walking with one of my roommates to meet some friends for dinner in midtown, and not once, but at least twice did the following happen: pedestrians just decided to stop walking and stand in the middle of the sidewalk. Or even worse, sometimes people are just standing on the side of the street talking on the phone or tying their shoes, what have you (I never say that), and then without even looking at who's coming they re-enter pedestrian traffic. These two scenarios are equivalent to driving a car without rear-view mirrors! Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue if a driver just stopped in the middle of the road or just pulled out of parking with absolutely no regard for the cars behind her?
Now, I'm a man (215 pounds worth, if you read my last post), and manly men like certain things, like sports. During the year (i.e. when it's not summer), there are other things to watch on television besides sports. This is true for a couple of reasons: a) Football, Basketball, and Hockey aren't on TV every day. Az even if I were to follow my local teams in each of those sports, I would still have free nights. b) Most of the big TV shows are on during the year, such as Lost, 24, House, and Grey's Anatomy. The reason I mention this is that last night I was watching the results portion of Az You Think You Can Dance, and my roommate decided to call my manhood into question. My response was as follows: Life for a man isn't always about sports and steak and money; sometimes we need balance. Watching a show like Az You Think You Can Dance or Grey's anatomy provides a good change of pace. Besides, I might have a teensy weensy crush on Kameron in addition to my much larger crush on Jaime.
On the topic of Kameron, since when did people start spelling normal names strangely? I grew up with names like James Cameron, and Cameron Diaz, and Candace Cameron, and Mike Cameron, and the DeCameron. Where did this K business come from? Who does Kameron Loe (SP for the Texas Rangers) think he is? And there are more examples. I grew up with people named Karen. Nowadays you see Karin, and Caren, and Caryn. Also, how many different ways are there to spell the name Antoine? There are athletes out there named Antwan, Antawn, Antowain, and the bizarrely weird Anquan. Anyone have more examples, send 'em in.
And finally, what 9-days-appropriate post would be complete without a sports rant. Someone recently asked me to join his fantasy football keeper league. A keeper league means that at the end of the season each team owner gets to keep a certain amount of players through next year. I strenuously, but politely declined the invitation because I think of keeper leagues as too much of a crapshoot. People always decide to keep rookies, or even players not yet in the league so as to get a leg up once they arrive on the scene. But Moneyball, my bible of sports knowledge, even acknowledges that scouting is an imperfect science, and most of the time players don't turn out to be as good as their potential. I dunno, I just feel like I'd be using the wrong tools to evaluate players, and the other owners would be more successful than me just due to dumb luck. I just don't think my mind is equipped with the right tools to successfully play fantasy sports in general. I'll give you an example. Last night my roommate (who is in first place in our fantasy baseball league) asked me (currently in 6th place out of 8) which of his players I want in exchange for either Jimmy Rollins or Chase Utley. Thinking I could cleverly out-maneouver him by vastly overstating the value of my players, I politely perused his lineup, which was ripe for the pilfering. Upon doing so, it occurred to me that my team was ever so much better than his. In fact, I claimed that my team would absolutly mop the floor with his on the field of play. See, this is the way my mind works; I can't determine which players are the most valuable in terms of fantasy statistics. I think I’m actually gonna go ahead and look at our players’ real stats to which I have access on baseball-reference.com, just so I could have some statistical data to support my claim. I’ll get on that once I’m through here. Cool. Enjoy the weekend everyone. I hope it’s Potterific.
With that bit of important business out of the way, I'd like to turn my attention to a few far less important (though no less inspiring) items about which I've been musing for the past couple of days. There are very few worldwide holidays; most holidays are confined to a religion or a country, but tomorrow, Saturday, July 21st, 2007, might just transcend all other days. Yes, my friends, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" hits bookshelves and delivery trucks at midnight! Who could have known that in the era of ipods (need a new one) and iphones (I'm not cool enough) and HDTV (awesome) and DVR (don't know how I lived without it), that the most exciting product available to consumers (a claim based on no statistical research whatsoever) would be a mere book. A collection of words. Strings of letters printed on recyled paper. Things that have existed for millenia (I'm so freakin excited that I'm typing in sentence fragments). Honestly, I'm beside myself. Seriously, the last author to have such an effect on so many people was D (of J, E, P, and D fame), and his (their?) existence is merely conjecture. J.K. Rowling is actually a) the richest woman in the United Kingdom, and b) G-d (also conjecture). It wouldn't surprise me to learn that in reality, Ms. Rowling is creating an army with which she can ascend up to Shamayim and supplant the Big Man as the supreme Power in the universe, and that her books are a source of spreading unspeakable evil among the Earth's inhabitants. Now, I'm clearly just rambling.
Now just imagining the crowds of people who will be waiting outside local Barnes and Noble'ses starting at, oh around...now, gives me the jibblies. It reminds me of an interesting phenomenon common to New York City. Just yesterday evening I was walking with one of my roommates to meet some friends for dinner in midtown, and not once, but at least twice did the following happen: pedestrians just decided to stop walking and stand in the middle of the sidewalk. Or even worse, sometimes people are just standing on the side of the street talking on the phone or tying their shoes, what have you (I never say that), and then without even looking at who's coming they re-enter pedestrian traffic. These two scenarios are equivalent to driving a car without rear-view mirrors! Can you imagine the chaos that would ensue if a driver just stopped in the middle of the road or just pulled out of parking with absolutely no regard for the cars behind her?
Now, I'm a man (215 pounds worth, if you read my last post), and manly men like certain things, like sports. During the year (i.e. when it's not summer), there are other things to watch on television besides sports. This is true for a couple of reasons: a) Football, Basketball, and Hockey aren't on TV every day. Az even if I were to follow my local teams in each of those sports, I would still have free nights. b) Most of the big TV shows are on during the year, such as Lost, 24, House, and Grey's Anatomy. The reason I mention this is that last night I was watching the results portion of Az You Think You Can Dance, and my roommate decided to call my manhood into question. My response was as follows: Life for a man isn't always about sports and steak and money; sometimes we need balance. Watching a show like Az You Think You Can Dance or Grey's anatomy provides a good change of pace. Besides, I might have a teensy weensy crush on Kameron in addition to my much larger crush on Jaime.
On the topic of Kameron, since when did people start spelling normal names strangely? I grew up with names like James Cameron, and Cameron Diaz, and Candace Cameron, and Mike Cameron, and the DeCameron. Where did this K business come from? Who does Kameron Loe (SP for the Texas Rangers) think he is? And there are more examples. I grew up with people named Karen. Nowadays you see Karin, and Caren, and Caryn. Also, how many different ways are there to spell the name Antoine? There are athletes out there named Antwan, Antawn, Antowain, and the bizarrely weird Anquan. Anyone have more examples, send 'em in.
And finally, what 9-days-appropriate post would be complete without a sports rant. Someone recently asked me to join his fantasy football keeper league. A keeper league means that at the end of the season each team owner gets to keep a certain amount of players through next year. I strenuously, but politely declined the invitation because I think of keeper leagues as too much of a crapshoot. People always decide to keep rookies, or even players not yet in the league so as to get a leg up once they arrive on the scene. But Moneyball, my bible of sports knowledge, even acknowledges that scouting is an imperfect science, and most of the time players don't turn out to be as good as their potential. I dunno, I just feel like I'd be using the wrong tools to evaluate players, and the other owners would be more successful than me just due to dumb luck. I just don't think my mind is equipped with the right tools to successfully play fantasy sports in general. I'll give you an example. Last night my roommate (who is in first place in our fantasy baseball league) asked me (currently in 6th place out of 8) which of his players I want in exchange for either Jimmy Rollins or Chase Utley. Thinking I could cleverly out-maneouver him by vastly overstating the value of my players, I politely perused his lineup, which was ripe for the pilfering. Upon doing so, it occurred to me that my team was ever so much better than his. In fact, I claimed that my team would absolutly mop the floor with his on the field of play. See, this is the way my mind works; I can't determine which players are the most valuable in terms of fantasy statistics. I think I’m actually gonna go ahead and look at our players’ real stats to which I have access on baseball-reference.com, just so I could have some statistical data to support my claim. I’ll get on that once I’m through here. Cool. Enjoy the weekend everyone. I hope it’s Potterific.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Fine, No Sports This Time (Much...)
Since I've gotten yelled at by no fewer than three people (comprising a significant portion of my reader base) for writing about sports too much, I've decided to stop posting altogether; I mean I've decided to wait until I had something meaningful to write, which was non-sports related.
Anyway, on Sunday I went to the Verizon Wireless store to cancel my mom's service and to exchange my new phone for another one. I originally got a white Moto KRZR, but I decided I didn't want to get stuck with it for two years; that's a long commitment! Az I traded it in for an LG VX8700, the prom queen of cell phones. Seriously, in the catalog they had at the store, they ascribed each phone to a different type of person. The RAZR MAXX is for the straight-A student, and that fancy LG TV phone is for the athlete / jock. My phone is for the prom queen. It's okay, I'm secure with my masculinity. It's hard to be insecure when you're carrying around 215 pounds of man.
Az there I am, at the counter in the Verizon store, giving the service rep an extremely hard time with my carefully worded, cleverly delivered questions about cancelling Mom's service and exchanging my phone. Meanwhile, things were made slightly more difficult by the fact that we purchased our plans and phones via the internet, and therefore, my options for handling things in the store were limited. I won't bore you with more details, but let's just say that while I was pestering the service folks, I was behaving in my usual friendly, engaging, joking manner. This made all the difference to the reps. I could tell because they were being receptive to my bottomless supply of cheer, so much so that the woman even waived the surcharge for transferring my 250+ phone numbers from my KRZR to the LG. The moral of the story is that one smile can be a catalyst for changing someone's outlook on their day/life. I'm not saying that just flashing my (mother of) pearly whites is enough to effect a grand change (I'm not that cocky goddamn it. See Hedberg, Mitch in "Mitch All Together."), but it certainly couldn't hurt.
And that's as long as I could last without writing about sports, just two measly paragraphs. It's okay, I'm not gonna write a lengthy discourse on the pros and cons of swinging on 3-0; I'm just gonna show a brilliant trade I made a few weeks ago in one of my fantasy leagues. On June 20th I traded Andy Pettitte straight up for Carlos Pena. Since the players were officially added to our respective rosters, these are the stats both players have posted:
Pettitte: 12.1 IP, 18 ER, 10 Ks, 2 BBs, 13.14 ERA
Pena: 38 AB, 11 Runs, 2 2B, 4 HR, 12 RBI, 10 BB, 9 Ks, .368 BA, .500 OBP, .760 SLG, 1.260 OPS.
I think I'm a genius. That is all.
Anyway, on Sunday I went to the Verizon Wireless store to cancel my mom's service and to exchange my new phone for another one. I originally got a white Moto KRZR, but I decided I didn't want to get stuck with it for two years; that's a long commitment! Az I traded it in for an LG VX8700, the prom queen of cell phones. Seriously, in the catalog they had at the store, they ascribed each phone to a different type of person. The RAZR MAXX is for the straight-A student, and that fancy LG TV phone is for the athlete / jock. My phone is for the prom queen. It's okay, I'm secure with my masculinity. It's hard to be insecure when you're carrying around 215 pounds of man.
Az there I am, at the counter in the Verizon store, giving the service rep an extremely hard time with my carefully worded, cleverly delivered questions about cancelling Mom's service and exchanging my phone. Meanwhile, things were made slightly more difficult by the fact that we purchased our plans and phones via the internet, and therefore, my options for handling things in the store were limited. I won't bore you with more details, but let's just say that while I was pestering the service folks, I was behaving in my usual friendly, engaging, joking manner. This made all the difference to the reps. I could tell because they were being receptive to my bottomless supply of cheer, so much so that the woman even waived the surcharge for transferring my 250+ phone numbers from my KRZR to the LG. The moral of the story is that one smile can be a catalyst for changing someone's outlook on their day/life. I'm not saying that just flashing my (mother of) pearly whites is enough to effect a grand change (I'm not that cocky goddamn it. See Hedberg, Mitch in "Mitch All Together."), but it certainly couldn't hurt.
And that's as long as I could last without writing about sports, just two measly paragraphs. It's okay, I'm not gonna write a lengthy discourse on the pros and cons of swinging on 3-0; I'm just gonna show a brilliant trade I made a few weeks ago in one of my fantasy leagues. On June 20th I traded Andy Pettitte straight up for Carlos Pena. Since the players were officially added to our respective rosters, these are the stats both players have posted:
Pettitte: 12.1 IP, 18 ER, 10 Ks, 2 BBs, 13.14 ERA
Pena: 38 AB, 11 Runs, 2 2B, 4 HR, 12 RBI, 10 BB, 9 Ks, .368 BA, .500 OBP, .760 SLG, 1.260 OPS.
I think I'm a genius. That is all.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Yeah, Sorry, More Baseball
The purpose of this post is to shed some light on a few more baseball points. Sorry about all the sports, but I think I need to get my points across. Besides, now that I'm working, I don't really have as much time to get into any kooky situations. Az please bear with me whilst I bombard you with some more baseball chit-chat. Let's get started.
Firstly, I want to discuss strikeouts. At the beginning of this season, the cover story on espn.com one day was about Ryan Howard, the reigning National League MVP. Here's the text of the blurb: "So, how did Ryan Howard go from 151 Ks in 2003 to 58 HRs in 2006?" Our colleagues over at firejoemorgan.com hastily provided us with an answer: "By striking out even more. Howard struck out 181 times last year. And was awesome." Another words, a player who strikes out a lot is not necessarily a poor hitter. Obviously, it is bad when a hitter strikes out, however, there is much to be said about a hitter with many strikeouts:
-He tends to see a lot of pitches. The only way a batter strikes out is if he first has two strikes against him. It's usually the most patient hitters who run deep counts that strike out a lot because they often find themselves in two strike counts. These hitters, while they tend to have low batting averages, also tend to walk a lot. Let's look at the top five strikeout hitters in the league this year: Adam Dunn: 103 Ks, .260 AVG, and 43 BBs. Ryan Howard: 95 Ks, .256 AVG, 52 BBs. Dan Uggla: 94 Ks, .249 AVG, 35 BBs. Grady Sizemore: 90 Ks, .283 AVG, 54 BBs. And Andruw Jones: 87 Ks, .204 AVG, 42 BBs. Four of those guys (not Uggla) are in the top 30 in the league in walks, and two of them are in the top ten.
-The other good thing about seeing a lot of pitches is that the hitter gets to see everything the pitcher has in his arsenal. He can transmit a lot of information to his teammates.
-Also, the more pitches the pitcher throws, the faster he is likely to tire and exit the game, leaving the outcome in the hands of the bullpen.
-Finally, when players see a lot of pitches and are patient, they are usually waiting for the best pitch to hit. This is demonstrated by the fact that each of those five guys are in the top 25 in the league in Home Runs.
Az yes, a strikeout is not a good thing to do, but one certainly cannot determine that a player is a poor hitter because he strikes out a lot. In fact, it appears that some of the best hitters in the league strike out a lot. Now I want to look at the other side of the coin. Obviously, the best thing a pitcher can do is strike a hitter out. Striking out a hitter is very safe, because there's no chance for a fielding error, and base runners don't get an opportunity to advance. I would say that it's rare for a pitcher to be highly successful without striking out his fair share of hitters. Let's take a look at this stat: the top eight strikeout pitchers in the league all have ERAs under 4.00, and they are all at least two games over .500.
Here's the point: Hitters who strike out a lot are usually not poor hitters and often are very good hitters. Pitchers who strike out a lot of batters are usually the best pitchers in the league. Again: Strikeouts: for pitchers = great, for hitters = not that bad.
Moving right along, over Shabbat, one of my new readers approached me and asked what I thought was the most beautiful play in baseball. He posits that a well executed squeeze play is the most beautiful. Now, I still have to think about it some more, but here's a few I came up with:
-I love seeing a textbook 4-6-3 double play. Even more so than a 6-4-3 or a 5-4-3.
-I think a nice cutoff from the outfield to home plate can be really awesome. Watching the infielder receive the ball and quickly turn around and throw home is really cool.
Since my last post, two National League all-star pitchers had to withdraw from the game, az Tony LaRussa, the manager of the NL team, had to select two replacements. Did he read my article to help him decide whom to pick? Certainly not; he went with two famous guys, Roy Oswalt and Brandon Webb. Who the hell ever heard of John Maine? (Btw, as my brother so astutely reminded me. Maine is NOT in fact the only player ever with the same name as a state. However, excluding Maryland Dykes Potter, who only pitched two innings, Maine is the only pitcher with the same name as a state.) Just for fun, and because I hate Tony LaRussa, let's decide how much of a moron he is and compare the stats.
Oswalt: 3.52 ERA, 89 Ks, 6.26 K/9, 2.07 K/BB, 1.39 WHIP, .328 OBP against, .400 SLG against, and .728 OPS against. Also, Oswalt has given up the 3rd most hits and the 18th most walks in all of baseball.
Webb: 3.37 ERA, 112 Ks, 7.70 K/9, 2.38 K/BB, 1.27 WHIP, .312 OBP against, .354 SLG against, .663 OPS against.
Maine: 2.71 ERA, 93 Ks, 7.63 K/9, 2.33 K/BB, 1.14 WHIP, .285 OBP against, .343 SLG against, .622 OPS against.
This looks quite clear to me; John Maine is getting royally shafted. There are those who might argue that since the All-Star Game "counts," in that the winning league gets home field advantage in the World Series, the manager should select the pitchers who will give them the best chance to win. But if that's the case, then why should fans be allowed to vote at all. What if all the Yankees and Red Sox fans got together and decided to vote for all the worst players in the National League? How does this make any sense. Either it should be a game just for the fans and it shouldn't count for anything, or if they want it to count, they should take the voting out of the fans' hands. The worst thing is that a lot of sports writers and analysts will use all-star appearances as a statistic for determining Hall of Fame status. They'll say like "oh, this guy was a 13 time all-star, az he should be in the Hall of Fame." How can that be a valid statement? Why don't they just let the fans vote on who should get enshrined in Cooperstown. The whole thing doesn't make any sense.
Okay people. Thanks for bearing with me through another long post. I could use an all-star break myself.
Firstly, I want to discuss strikeouts. At the beginning of this season, the cover story on espn.com one day was about Ryan Howard, the reigning National League MVP. Here's the text of the blurb: "So, how did Ryan Howard go from 151 Ks in 2003 to 58 HRs in 2006?" Our colleagues over at firejoemorgan.com hastily provided us with an answer: "By striking out even more. Howard struck out 181 times last year. And was awesome." Another words, a player who strikes out a lot is not necessarily a poor hitter. Obviously, it is bad when a hitter strikes out, however, there is much to be said about a hitter with many strikeouts:
-He tends to see a lot of pitches. The only way a batter strikes out is if he first has two strikes against him. It's usually the most patient hitters who run deep counts that strike out a lot because they often find themselves in two strike counts. These hitters, while they tend to have low batting averages, also tend to walk a lot. Let's look at the top five strikeout hitters in the league this year: Adam Dunn: 103 Ks, .260 AVG, and 43 BBs. Ryan Howard: 95 Ks, .256 AVG, 52 BBs. Dan Uggla: 94 Ks, .249 AVG, 35 BBs. Grady Sizemore: 90 Ks, .283 AVG, 54 BBs. And Andruw Jones: 87 Ks, .204 AVG, 42 BBs. Four of those guys (not Uggla) are in the top 30 in the league in walks, and two of them are in the top ten.
-The other good thing about seeing a lot of pitches is that the hitter gets to see everything the pitcher has in his arsenal. He can transmit a lot of information to his teammates.
-Also, the more pitches the pitcher throws, the faster he is likely to tire and exit the game, leaving the outcome in the hands of the bullpen.
-Finally, when players see a lot of pitches and are patient, they are usually waiting for the best pitch to hit. This is demonstrated by the fact that each of those five guys are in the top 25 in the league in Home Runs.
Az yes, a strikeout is not a good thing to do, but one certainly cannot determine that a player is a poor hitter because he strikes out a lot. In fact, it appears that some of the best hitters in the league strike out a lot. Now I want to look at the other side of the coin. Obviously, the best thing a pitcher can do is strike a hitter out. Striking out a hitter is very safe, because there's no chance for a fielding error, and base runners don't get an opportunity to advance. I would say that it's rare for a pitcher to be highly successful without striking out his fair share of hitters. Let's take a look at this stat: the top eight strikeout pitchers in the league all have ERAs under 4.00, and they are all at least two games over .500.
Here's the point: Hitters who strike out a lot are usually not poor hitters and often are very good hitters. Pitchers who strike out a lot of batters are usually the best pitchers in the league. Again: Strikeouts: for pitchers = great, for hitters = not that bad.
Moving right along, over Shabbat, one of my new readers approached me and asked what I thought was the most beautiful play in baseball. He posits that a well executed squeeze play is the most beautiful. Now, I still have to think about it some more, but here's a few I came up with:
-I love seeing a textbook 4-6-3 double play. Even more so than a 6-4-3 or a 5-4-3.
-I think a nice cutoff from the outfield to home plate can be really awesome. Watching the infielder receive the ball and quickly turn around and throw home is really cool.
Since my last post, two National League all-star pitchers had to withdraw from the game, az Tony LaRussa, the manager of the NL team, had to select two replacements. Did he read my article to help him decide whom to pick? Certainly not; he went with two famous guys, Roy Oswalt and Brandon Webb. Who the hell ever heard of John Maine? (Btw, as my brother so astutely reminded me. Maine is NOT in fact the only player ever with the same name as a state. However, excluding Maryland Dykes Potter, who only pitched two innings, Maine is the only pitcher with the same name as a state.) Just for fun, and because I hate Tony LaRussa, let's decide how much of a moron he is and compare the stats.
Oswalt: 3.52 ERA, 89 Ks, 6.26 K/9, 2.07 K/BB, 1.39 WHIP, .328 OBP against, .400 SLG against, and .728 OPS against. Also, Oswalt has given up the 3rd most hits and the 18th most walks in all of baseball.
Webb: 3.37 ERA, 112 Ks, 7.70 K/9, 2.38 K/BB, 1.27 WHIP, .312 OBP against, .354 SLG against, .663 OPS against.
Maine: 2.71 ERA, 93 Ks, 7.63 K/9, 2.33 K/BB, 1.14 WHIP, .285 OBP against, .343 SLG against, .622 OPS against.
This looks quite clear to me; John Maine is getting royally shafted. There are those who might argue that since the All-Star Game "counts," in that the winning league gets home field advantage in the World Series, the manager should select the pitchers who will give them the best chance to win. But if that's the case, then why should fans be allowed to vote at all. What if all the Yankees and Red Sox fans got together and decided to vote for all the worst players in the National League? How does this make any sense. Either it should be a game just for the fans and it shouldn't count for anything, or if they want it to count, they should take the voting out of the fans' hands. The worst thing is that a lot of sports writers and analysts will use all-star appearances as a statistic for determining Hall of Fame status. They'll say like "oh, this guy was a 13 time all-star, az he should be in the Hall of Fame." How can that be a valid statement? Why don't they just let the fans vote on who should get enshrined in Cooperstown. The whole thing doesn't make any sense.
Okay people. Thanks for bearing with me through another long post. I could use an all-star break myself.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I Can Be a Real Sports Writer If I Want
Welcome to the delightful time of year when the All-Star selections have been made, and sports writers get to express their (usually foolish) opinions regarding who shouldn't have made it who should have. Now, a lot of the time, writers like to be controversial because it generates publicity. I obviously am not trying to garner any special recognition; in fact, most of my readers hate when I write about sports. Well, it's baseball season, az tough noogies. Here are a couple of parameters I used to create my list (read: spreadsheet, which took like 3 hours to make):
- All of the stats are current as of the first day of July, 2007.
- I kept the rosters the same size, and did my best to replace players with other players who play similar positions.
- I included the final player for whom the fans get to vote after the preliminary all-star selections are made.
- When it came to making my decisions, I didn't even look at these statistics: RBI, Runs, Batting Average, Wins, and Saves.
- In accordance with the Moneyball doctrine, that the worst thing a player can do on a baseball field is make an out, I made On-base Percentage the single most important statistic on my list. In fact, it says somewhere in the book that OBP should be worth around three times as much as Slugging Percentage, az OPS really shouldn't be a straight sum of OBP and SLG. Az what I did was multiply OBP by three and then add that to SLG, and for the purposes of this post, I named that OPS2. Very good players tend to approach a 2.000 OPS2, just for a frame of reference. I'm just trying to do the best I can with the tools available to me. Hey, if I get enough readers, maybe I'll ask that some of you contribute to my baseballprospectus.com fund so I can look up real sabermetric statistics like EqA and VORP.
Anyway, without further adieu, I present to you my all-star snub list. Let's start with the American League:
-Ivan Rodriguez, Catcher, Detroit Tigers: Guh, even his traditional stats are pedestrian, .280 BA, 8 HR, 43 RsBI. According to my stats, he is the single worst position player on my entire list of 53 players. Since when did the Detroit Tigers fans have so much sway over the all-star voting? Did they even realize that Pudge has only four walks this year? FOUR?!?!?! His OBP is a heroic .293! The next lowest OBP on my list is .314, and that's very low for my taste. It goes without saying that his OPS is the lowest on my American League list, and his OPS2 (1.323) is the lowest on the entire list. Pudge, you just don't belong here anymore; please leave.
...should be replaced by...
Kevin Youkilis, 1B, Boston Red Sox: Now this wasn't even fair, because Big Papi was on the ballot at 1B, az the GGoW (Greek God of Walks) didn't even appear on there, az fans didn't even have an opportunity to vote for him. For a power position his stats aren't amazing, but screw the old stats, and lets look at the important ones. He's tied for fifth in the AL in OBP on my list and has a respectable SLG north of .500 resulting in a very nice OPS of .924, and an OPS2 of 1.762. Also, just as a side note, two weeks ago on Firejoemorgan.com, they put a link to Youkilis's DT card on baseballprospectus.com. The URL for each player uses a code for each player's name, the first five letters of his last name followed by the first two letters of his first name. Az Kevin Youkilis becomes "youkike." Don't worry; they have since changed the URL code to "youki________ke."
-Placido Polanco, 2B, Detroit Tigers: This is really a shame because he's really having a fine season. He's batting .330, which means diddly-poo on offense, except for the fact that it means his OBP is at least .330. His OBP is in fact .378, but his SLG is only .421 because he only has 22 extra-base hits (2 HR in 309 ABs) out of his 102. I really don't think anyone with an OPS of below .800 should be on an all-star team.
...should be replaced by...
B.J. Upton, 2B, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: His candidacy for the all-star team was hurt by his stint on the disabled list, but I think he has accrued enough raw stats to be eligible. His OBP (.396) and SLG (.545) make for an outstanding OPS (.941) and OPS2 (1.733) for a 2nd baseman. But I think that his production, 26 extra-base hits with nine HRs in 200 at-bats should definitely have attracted more attention. He even has 13 SBs in 18 attempts. Give the kid a chance.
-Michael Young, SS, Texas Rangers: What on Earth is he doing here? Honestly, if you had to have one Ranger an the all-star team (and you do), take Eric Gagne. I'm not saying he should be in, I'm just saying he would be a better selection from the Rangers. Honestly, he has zero all-star caliber statistics. He has a low OBP (.343), a low SLG (.400), not many walks (24), and few extra base hits (27). One can expect such a stat line from a speedy base stealer, but he only has six steals. Michael Young, we have to let you go.
...should be replaced by...
Carlos Pena, 1B, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: He also suffered because he wasn't on the ballot and didn't have a ton of at-bats (207). However, this did not prevent him from having the highest OPS of any first baseman in the American League (.984). He's hitting a ton of extra-base hits (31 out of 58, including 18 HRs), and walking like crazy (31). If one were to project his stats over a full season, his line would look like this: 44 HR, 112 RsBI, and 100 Runs. Even fans of conventional stats couldn't ignore that. Besides, he's a moneyball guy.
- Carl Crawford, CF, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: See, they keep picking the wrong guys from each team. Crawford is a great player, and he's exciting, but he just doesn't have the numbers this year. He's not turning out to be the 30/30 guy he's expected to be; he has only six HRs this year. He gets helped out by the fact that he has 27 other extra-base hits (19 doubles and 8 triples), but combined with a low OBP (.339), his OPS is sub-par (.794). That's just too low.
...should be replaced by...
Curtis Granderson, CF, Detroit Tigers: Geez, I didn't even realize that Curt was having a monster year. He has a ridiculous amount of extra-base hits (48), including 11 HRs, 22 doubles, and 15(!) triples. The only thing really hurting him is his low OBP (.343, OPS2 = 1.592), but I think his SLG (.563) more than makes up for it. Also, he has 9 SBs without getting caught once.
- Torii Hunter, CF, Minnesota Twins: He was really the hardest to criticize, because he has compiled some impressive numbers this season, 17 HRs, .550 SLG, .894 OPS. But I just don't think he walks enough (17, .344 OBP), demonstrating a lack of discipline at the plate. An all-star in this league needs to do better. Additionally, and I think this was the clincher, weak as it may be, Hunter is actually hurting his team when he steals bases; he has 11 SBs in 16 attempts. As I said, this was the toughest decision to make, but I think the player replacing him deserves the spot more.
...should be replaced by...
Gary Sheffield, DH/LF, Detroit Tigers: His raw stats compare nicely with Hunter's, 18 HR, .535 SLG, 11 SB, but he gets on base a ton more than Hunter (.401 OBP). His OPS2 just blows Hunter's out of the water (1.733 to 1.582). I wish I had access to fielding statistics because I'd love to see if Hunter's FRAA might be enough to tip the balance.
AL hitting notes: -Alex Rodriguez has the highest OPS2 on the AL list (1.955).
-Grady Sizemore has 50 walks, tied for 2nd in the AL; he had 78 all of last season.
Onto the pitchers!
-John Lackey, SP, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: This stinks, because he's pitching really well this year. A 3.04 ERA is nothing to scoff at these days, especially in the AL. But honestly, I really think he's getting lucky. I wish I had access to BABIP stats, but I'll just have to work with what I have. The beef I have with him are his WHIP, walks and strikeouts. His 1.19 WHIP is respectable, but it's the second highest of any AL all-star. And I don't think he strikes out enough guys (87) to justify the amount of guys he walks (32). His K/BB rate of 2.72 is just too low for an all-star.
...should be replaced by...
Erik Bedard, SP, Baltimore Orioles: His aggregate stats are almost identical to Lackey's, 32 Walks, 1.18 WHIP, 11 HRs against (same as Lackey), and .654 OPS against (.662 for Lackey). But the thing that puts him over the top is the fact that he has the most strikeouts in the AL. He's more than welcome to walk 32 guys as long as he's striking out 129 (4.03 K/BB). Honestly, comparing these two is almost a wash, but I just like Bedard better. He has more repeatable stats than Lackey does, and their ERAs are likely to regress toward each other.
-Gil Meche, SP, Kansas City Royals: He needs to be there to represent KC in the all-star game, but that doesn't mean that someone else doesn't deserve it more. He's by far the worst AL pitcher on the all-star team. His WHIP (1.30), OBP against (.317), SLG against (.407), and OPS against (.724) all rank last among the AL all-stars.
...should be replaced by...
Joe Blanton, SP, Oakland Athletics: His stats are even slightly better than Bedard's, although he strikes out far fewer guys (80). But he also walks fewer (23). His OPS against (.621) is even better than many of the definite all-stars: Josh Beckett (.642), Johan Santana (.655), Justin Verlander (.634), and C.C. Sabathia (.680). Another words, he's nothing flashy, he doesn't strike guys out, he doesn't throw a 95 mph fastball, and he's fat. But that's what makes him an Oakland Athletic; he just knows how to get guys out.
Vote In: Hideki Okajima, RP, Boston Red Sox: At Fenway Park, in 40 IP, he's managed this stat line: 0.90 ERA, 0.80 WHIP, 36 Ks, 1 HR against, .216 OBP against, .196 SLG against, and a .412 OPS against. That's just outstanding.
AL pitching notes: - Dan Haren should absolutely be the starter over Josh Beckett. His ERA is over a run better in 27 more innings, his WHIP is better (0.98 to 1.10), he's given up 1 less home run in those same 27 innings, and his OPS against is 69 points lower (.573 to .642), the best in the AL among starters.
- You think Okajima's stats are good? Let's look at the stats for Jonathan Papelbon and J.J. Putz.
Papelbon: In 30 IP, 1.50 ERA, 0.87 WHIP, 42 Ks, .235 OBP against, .224 SLG against, and .459 OPS against.
Putz: In 39 IP, 0.92 ERA, 7 walks (!), 0.59 WHIP (!), 43 Ks, .184 OBP against (!), .214 SLG against, and .398 OPS against (!). Yikes!
Let's take five, everybody. Smoke if you got 'em.
Okay, time for the NL. In general, I'd say they did a better job in the NL than the AL. I only had three complaints among the hitters, and here they are:
-Brian McCann, Catcher, Atlanta Braves: He's really only here because the NL can't carry only one catcher, that's all. Granted, he's an outstanding baseball player, and his stats will improve, but I don't think he deserves to be an all-star this year. His OBP is abysmal (.314), and he has the fewest total bases of any all-star (103). A .741 OPS and a 1.369 OPS2 just won't cut it. At least he's not Freddy Sanchez. I'll get there in a minute.
...should be replaced by...
Edgar Renteria, SS, Atlanta Braves: The NL has shortstops galore this year. Later on in my notes section I'll discuss this some more. Renteria has shined in his return to the NL. He's getting on base a lot (.386) and he's even slugging pretty well (.493) for a shortstop. Of all the NL shorstops on this list (and there are five), he has the hightest OPS2 at 1.651.
-Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez, 3B, Pittsburgh Pirates: There are way more deserving Pirates than this one (see: Bay, Jason, Gorzelanny, Tom, and Snell, Ian). I just don't see how anyone can justify his selection; he doesn't even have one good stat in his favor, 19 extra-base hits (1 HR), 12 Walks, .331 OBP, .375 SLG, .706 OPS, 1.368 OPS2, and zero (!) Stolen Bases. He ranks dead last in five of those stats among the other all-stars. Seriously, WTF?!
...should be replaced by...
Hanley Ramirez, SS, Florida Marlins: When PECOTA projected that Ramirez would be just as good, if not better than Jose Reyes, I really didn't believe it, but it happens to be true. He has the highest OPS of any SS in the NL (.880), and in addition to his speed (25 SB in 32 attempts), he also has good power numbers (11 HR, .500 SLG). He's a devastating force at the top of that Florida lineup.
-Carlos Lee, LF, Houston Astros: I don't like doing this, because I voted for him on several ballots and because my roommate hates him. And I love his nickname, El Caballo. By having him replaced, I'm admitting I was wrong and my roommate was right. Bah! Anyway, his raw stats are pretty good (15 HR, .513 SLG), but I was under the impression that he got on base a lot more than he does (.345). And he's definitely hurting his team's chances of scoring runs by attempting to steal (5 SB and 5 CS). His OPS (.854, not bad at all), which I expected to be much higher, is actually the second lowest of any NL OF on this list (the other one, Carlos Beltran has 13 SB in 15 attempts). And even his RBI total (meaningless) of 70 gets inflated by his 13 sacrifice flies, which are actually hurting his team. Az bye bye El Caballo.
...should be replaced by...
Aramis Ramirez, 3B, Chicago Cubs: I voted for him loads of times, and I can't believe he's not in. His stats this year are better than David Wright's (who also deserves to be here), and light years better than Freddy Sanchez's. Granted, I do think he needs to walk more than 18 times, but his .566 SLG brings his OPS up to a robust .920. Not much else to say about him, he's just having a very solid year.
Vote In: Ryan Howard, 1B, Philadelphia Phillies: This last spot was a rough one, and Howard is a rough selection. He's certainly not having as good a year as last year, but he's still been quite productive. His .248 BA looks pretty poor, but he's walking a ton (51), az his OBP is still up there at .382. For that reason alone, I chose him over Adam Dunn. The .931 OPS is also nice.
NL hitting notes: - Barry Bonds absolutely belongs on the all-star team. He has the highest OPS (1.119), OPS2 (2.151), and the most walks (84) in baseball. Granted, these stats were accrued over only 194 at bats, but still.
- How awesome is Chase Utley? As a 2nd baseman, generally considered to be the least productive position, he's managed to compile these stats: .406 OBP, .579 SLG with 48 extra-base hits (15 HRs), and a .985 OPS.
-Here's why Jimmy Rollins does not deserve to be an all-star, his OBP (.328), and OPS (.841) are all lower than the other four SSs on this list. And the .328 OBP is terrible for a leadoff hitter. It's a good thing they moved him down in the lineup.
NL Pitchers, only two complaints here.
- Cole Hamels, SP, Philadelphia Phillies: I honestly don't know why he's here. Sure, he strikes out a bunch of guys (116), but that's not enough to justify his selection. A 3.87 ERA and 19 HRs against him are much too high, even though he pitches at Citizen's Bank. His OPS against of .758 is really not good at all, especially considering the fact that some of the all-stars on this list have OPSs lower than that. He's not really having a bad year, I just think there are other candidates more deserving of his spot.
...should be replaced by...
John Maine, SP, New York Mets: His stats stack up nicely against all of Hamels's exept for strikeouts (84). The rest of them are as follows, ERA (2.74 to 3.87 (!)), WHIP (1.15 to 1.22), HR/9 (0.88 to 1.54), OBP against (.287 to .303), SLG against (.348 to .455(!)), and OPS against (.635 to .758). This looks pretty clear to me. Besides, I have a man-crush on Johnny, and he's the only player in baseball history to have the same name as a state. If those aren't criteria for all-star selection then I don't know what is.
- Brian Fuentes, RP, Colorado Rockies: What?! Matt Holliday is already on the roster, az why the hell do you need a Rockies pitcher? And even if you were going to pick one, Jeff Francis is a far better selection. Jesus, how is a guy with a 4.17 ERA an all-star? Allowing men to reach base 32.1% of the time is too much. And for a closer, he doesn't even strike out that many hitters (29 in 36.2 innings). A .734 OPS against for a closer is attrocious, and he has the hightest OPS2 against (1.376) of anyone on the list. It's a good thing the Rockies just replaced him with a new closer. I bet the all-star manager looks like a moron now.
... should be replaced with...
- Chris Young, SP, San Diego Padres: I am absolutely astonished that he's not an all-star. He has the second lowest ERA (2.14) and WHIP (1.09) among starters in the NL. If your job as a pitcher is to allow the fewest amount of batters to reach base, then you really can't do much better than Young; he has the second lowest OBP against (.279), SLG against (.280), and OPS against (.559) among starters in the NL. By the way, the leader in all of these stats is his teammate, Jake Peavy. How the hell is Young not an all-star?!
NL pitching notes: - Let's take a look at Takashi Saito's line: 33.2 IP, 1.34 ERA, 3 Walks (!), 0.72 WHIP, 42 Ks (14 K/BB ratio (!)). Pretty freakin' sweet.
- Cole Hamels has given up 19 HRs in 111.2 innings. Brad Penny, Jake Peavy, and Chris Young have given up seven HRs in 322 innings combined. Wow.
- I almost put El Duque in here, but he's only pitched 74.1 innings this season. Still, his stats are quite good: 2.79 ERA, 1.04 WHIP.
Awesome! Thanks to those who read my longest post ever (3,254 words, not including anything between these parentheses). I breathlessly await your comments.
- All of the stats are current as of the first day of July, 2007.
- I kept the rosters the same size, and did my best to replace players with other players who play similar positions.
- I included the final player for whom the fans get to vote after the preliminary all-star selections are made.
- When it came to making my decisions, I didn't even look at these statistics: RBI, Runs, Batting Average, Wins, and Saves.
- In accordance with the Moneyball doctrine, that the worst thing a player can do on a baseball field is make an out, I made On-base Percentage the single most important statistic on my list. In fact, it says somewhere in the book that OBP should be worth around three times as much as Slugging Percentage, az OPS really shouldn't be a straight sum of OBP and SLG. Az what I did was multiply OBP by three and then add that to SLG, and for the purposes of this post, I named that OPS2. Very good players tend to approach a 2.000 OPS2, just for a frame of reference. I'm just trying to do the best I can with the tools available to me. Hey, if I get enough readers, maybe I'll ask that some of you contribute to my baseballprospectus.com fund so I can look up real sabermetric statistics like EqA and VORP.
Anyway, without further adieu, I present to you my all-star snub list. Let's start with the American League:
-Ivan Rodriguez, Catcher, Detroit Tigers: Guh, even his traditional stats are pedestrian, .280 BA, 8 HR, 43 RsBI. According to my stats, he is the single worst position player on my entire list of 53 players. Since when did the Detroit Tigers fans have so much sway over the all-star voting? Did they even realize that Pudge has only four walks this year? FOUR?!?!?! His OBP is a heroic .293! The next lowest OBP on my list is .314, and that's very low for my taste. It goes without saying that his OPS is the lowest on my American League list, and his OPS2 (1.323) is the lowest on the entire list. Pudge, you just don't belong here anymore; please leave.
...should be replaced by...
Kevin Youkilis, 1B, Boston Red Sox: Now this wasn't even fair, because Big Papi was on the ballot at 1B, az the GGoW (Greek God of Walks) didn't even appear on there, az fans didn't even have an opportunity to vote for him. For a power position his stats aren't amazing, but screw the old stats, and lets look at the important ones. He's tied for fifth in the AL in OBP on my list and has a respectable SLG north of .500 resulting in a very nice OPS of .924, and an OPS2 of 1.762. Also, just as a side note, two weeks ago on Firejoemorgan.com, they put a link to Youkilis's DT card on baseballprospectus.com. The URL for each player uses a code for each player's name, the first five letters of his last name followed by the first two letters of his first name. Az Kevin Youkilis becomes "youkike." Don't worry; they have since changed the URL code to "youki________ke."
-Placido Polanco, 2B, Detroit Tigers: This is really a shame because he's really having a fine season. He's batting .330, which means diddly-poo on offense, except for the fact that it means his OBP is at least .330. His OBP is in fact .378, but his SLG is only .421 because he only has 22 extra-base hits (2 HR in 309 ABs) out of his 102. I really don't think anyone with an OPS of below .800 should be on an all-star team.
...should be replaced by...
B.J. Upton, 2B, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: His candidacy for the all-star team was hurt by his stint on the disabled list, but I think he has accrued enough raw stats to be eligible. His OBP (.396) and SLG (.545) make for an outstanding OPS (.941) and OPS2 (1.733) for a 2nd baseman. But I think that his production, 26 extra-base hits with nine HRs in 200 at-bats should definitely have attracted more attention. He even has 13 SBs in 18 attempts. Give the kid a chance.
-Michael Young, SS, Texas Rangers: What on Earth is he doing here? Honestly, if you had to have one Ranger an the all-star team (and you do), take Eric Gagne. I'm not saying he should be in, I'm just saying he would be a better selection from the Rangers. Honestly, he has zero all-star caliber statistics. He has a low OBP (.343), a low SLG (.400), not many walks (24), and few extra base hits (27). One can expect such a stat line from a speedy base stealer, but he only has six steals. Michael Young, we have to let you go.
...should be replaced by...
Carlos Pena, 1B, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: He also suffered because he wasn't on the ballot and didn't have a ton of at-bats (207). However, this did not prevent him from having the highest OPS of any first baseman in the American League (.984). He's hitting a ton of extra-base hits (31 out of 58, including 18 HRs), and walking like crazy (31). If one were to project his stats over a full season, his line would look like this: 44 HR, 112 RsBI, and 100 Runs. Even fans of conventional stats couldn't ignore that. Besides, he's a moneyball guy.
- Carl Crawford, CF, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: See, they keep picking the wrong guys from each team. Crawford is a great player, and he's exciting, but he just doesn't have the numbers this year. He's not turning out to be the 30/30 guy he's expected to be; he has only six HRs this year. He gets helped out by the fact that he has 27 other extra-base hits (19 doubles and 8 triples), but combined with a low OBP (.339), his OPS is sub-par (.794). That's just too low.
...should be replaced by...
Curtis Granderson, CF, Detroit Tigers: Geez, I didn't even realize that Curt was having a monster year. He has a ridiculous amount of extra-base hits (48), including 11 HRs, 22 doubles, and 15(!) triples. The only thing really hurting him is his low OBP (.343, OPS2 = 1.592), but I think his SLG (.563) more than makes up for it. Also, he has 9 SBs without getting caught once.
- Torii Hunter, CF, Minnesota Twins: He was really the hardest to criticize, because he has compiled some impressive numbers this season, 17 HRs, .550 SLG, .894 OPS. But I just don't think he walks enough (17, .344 OBP), demonstrating a lack of discipline at the plate. An all-star in this league needs to do better. Additionally, and I think this was the clincher, weak as it may be, Hunter is actually hurting his team when he steals bases; he has 11 SBs in 16 attempts. As I said, this was the toughest decision to make, but I think the player replacing him deserves the spot more.
...should be replaced by...
Gary Sheffield, DH/LF, Detroit Tigers: His raw stats compare nicely with Hunter's, 18 HR, .535 SLG, 11 SB, but he gets on base a ton more than Hunter (.401 OBP). His OPS2 just blows Hunter's out of the water (1.733 to 1.582). I wish I had access to fielding statistics because I'd love to see if Hunter's FRAA might be enough to tip the balance.
AL hitting notes: -Alex Rodriguez has the highest OPS2 on the AL list (1.955).
-Grady Sizemore has 50 walks, tied for 2nd in the AL; he had 78 all of last season.
Onto the pitchers!
-John Lackey, SP, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim: This stinks, because he's pitching really well this year. A 3.04 ERA is nothing to scoff at these days, especially in the AL. But honestly, I really think he's getting lucky. I wish I had access to BABIP stats, but I'll just have to work with what I have. The beef I have with him are his WHIP, walks and strikeouts. His 1.19 WHIP is respectable, but it's the second highest of any AL all-star. And I don't think he strikes out enough guys (87) to justify the amount of guys he walks (32). His K/BB rate of 2.72 is just too low for an all-star.
...should be replaced by...
Erik Bedard, SP, Baltimore Orioles: His aggregate stats are almost identical to Lackey's, 32 Walks, 1.18 WHIP, 11 HRs against (same as Lackey), and .654 OPS against (.662 for Lackey). But the thing that puts him over the top is the fact that he has the most strikeouts in the AL. He's more than welcome to walk 32 guys as long as he's striking out 129 (4.03 K/BB). Honestly, comparing these two is almost a wash, but I just like Bedard better. He has more repeatable stats than Lackey does, and their ERAs are likely to regress toward each other.
-Gil Meche, SP, Kansas City Royals: He needs to be there to represent KC in the all-star game, but that doesn't mean that someone else doesn't deserve it more. He's by far the worst AL pitcher on the all-star team. His WHIP (1.30), OBP against (.317), SLG against (.407), and OPS against (.724) all rank last among the AL all-stars.
...should be replaced by...
Joe Blanton, SP, Oakland Athletics: His stats are even slightly better than Bedard's, although he strikes out far fewer guys (80). But he also walks fewer (23). His OPS against (.621) is even better than many of the definite all-stars: Josh Beckett (.642), Johan Santana (.655), Justin Verlander (.634), and C.C. Sabathia (.680). Another words, he's nothing flashy, he doesn't strike guys out, he doesn't throw a 95 mph fastball, and he's fat. But that's what makes him an Oakland Athletic; he just knows how to get guys out.
Vote In: Hideki Okajima, RP, Boston Red Sox: At Fenway Park, in 40 IP, he's managed this stat line: 0.90 ERA, 0.80 WHIP, 36 Ks, 1 HR against, .216 OBP against, .196 SLG against, and a .412 OPS against. That's just outstanding.
AL pitching notes: - Dan Haren should absolutely be the starter over Josh Beckett. His ERA is over a run better in 27 more innings, his WHIP is better (0.98 to 1.10), he's given up 1 less home run in those same 27 innings, and his OPS against is 69 points lower (.573 to .642), the best in the AL among starters.
- You think Okajima's stats are good? Let's look at the stats for Jonathan Papelbon and J.J. Putz.
Papelbon: In 30 IP, 1.50 ERA, 0.87 WHIP, 42 Ks, .235 OBP against, .224 SLG against, and .459 OPS against.
Putz: In 39 IP, 0.92 ERA, 7 walks (!), 0.59 WHIP (!), 43 Ks, .184 OBP against (!), .214 SLG against, and .398 OPS against (!). Yikes!
Let's take five, everybody. Smoke if you got 'em.
Okay, time for the NL. In general, I'd say they did a better job in the NL than the AL. I only had three complaints among the hitters, and here they are:
-Brian McCann, Catcher, Atlanta Braves: He's really only here because the NL can't carry only one catcher, that's all. Granted, he's an outstanding baseball player, and his stats will improve, but I don't think he deserves to be an all-star this year. His OBP is abysmal (.314), and he has the fewest total bases of any all-star (103). A .741 OPS and a 1.369 OPS2 just won't cut it. At least he's not Freddy Sanchez. I'll get there in a minute.
...should be replaced by...
Edgar Renteria, SS, Atlanta Braves: The NL has shortstops galore this year. Later on in my notes section I'll discuss this some more. Renteria has shined in his return to the NL. He's getting on base a lot (.386) and he's even slugging pretty well (.493) for a shortstop. Of all the NL shorstops on this list (and there are five), he has the hightest OPS2 at 1.651.
-Freddy "Dirty" Sanchez, 3B, Pittsburgh Pirates: There are way more deserving Pirates than this one (see: Bay, Jason, Gorzelanny, Tom, and Snell, Ian). I just don't see how anyone can justify his selection; he doesn't even have one good stat in his favor, 19 extra-base hits (1 HR), 12 Walks, .331 OBP, .375 SLG, .706 OPS, 1.368 OPS2, and zero (!) Stolen Bases. He ranks dead last in five of those stats among the other all-stars. Seriously, WTF?!
...should be replaced by...
Hanley Ramirez, SS, Florida Marlins: When PECOTA projected that Ramirez would be just as good, if not better than Jose Reyes, I really didn't believe it, but it happens to be true. He has the highest OPS of any SS in the NL (.880), and in addition to his speed (25 SB in 32 attempts), he also has good power numbers (11 HR, .500 SLG). He's a devastating force at the top of that Florida lineup.
-Carlos Lee, LF, Houston Astros: I don't like doing this, because I voted for him on several ballots and because my roommate hates him. And I love his nickname, El Caballo. By having him replaced, I'm admitting I was wrong and my roommate was right. Bah! Anyway, his raw stats are pretty good (15 HR, .513 SLG), but I was under the impression that he got on base a lot more than he does (.345). And he's definitely hurting his team's chances of scoring runs by attempting to steal (5 SB and 5 CS). His OPS (.854, not bad at all), which I expected to be much higher, is actually the second lowest of any NL OF on this list (the other one, Carlos Beltran has 13 SB in 15 attempts). And even his RBI total (meaningless) of 70 gets inflated by his 13 sacrifice flies, which are actually hurting his team. Az bye bye El Caballo.
...should be replaced by...
Aramis Ramirez, 3B, Chicago Cubs: I voted for him loads of times, and I can't believe he's not in. His stats this year are better than David Wright's (who also deserves to be here), and light years better than Freddy Sanchez's. Granted, I do think he needs to walk more than 18 times, but his .566 SLG brings his OPS up to a robust .920. Not much else to say about him, he's just having a very solid year.
Vote In: Ryan Howard, 1B, Philadelphia Phillies: This last spot was a rough one, and Howard is a rough selection. He's certainly not having as good a year as last year, but he's still been quite productive. His .248 BA looks pretty poor, but he's walking a ton (51), az his OBP is still up there at .382. For that reason alone, I chose him over Adam Dunn. The .931 OPS is also nice.
NL hitting notes: - Barry Bonds absolutely belongs on the all-star team. He has the highest OPS (1.119), OPS2 (2.151), and the most walks (84) in baseball. Granted, these stats were accrued over only 194 at bats, but still.
- How awesome is Chase Utley? As a 2nd baseman, generally considered to be the least productive position, he's managed to compile these stats: .406 OBP, .579 SLG with 48 extra-base hits (15 HRs), and a .985 OPS.
-Here's why Jimmy Rollins does not deserve to be an all-star, his OBP (.328), and OPS (.841) are all lower than the other four SSs on this list. And the .328 OBP is terrible for a leadoff hitter. It's a good thing they moved him down in the lineup.
NL Pitchers, only two complaints here.
- Cole Hamels, SP, Philadelphia Phillies: I honestly don't know why he's here. Sure, he strikes out a bunch of guys (116), but that's not enough to justify his selection. A 3.87 ERA and 19 HRs against him are much too high, even though he pitches at Citizen's Bank. His OPS against of .758 is really not good at all, especially considering the fact that some of the all-stars on this list have OPSs lower than that. He's not really having a bad year, I just think there are other candidates more deserving of his spot.
...should be replaced by...
John Maine, SP, New York Mets: His stats stack up nicely against all of Hamels's exept for strikeouts (84). The rest of them are as follows, ERA (2.74 to 3.87 (!)), WHIP (1.15 to 1.22), HR/9 (0.88 to 1.54), OBP against (.287 to .303), SLG against (.348 to .455(!)), and OPS against (.635 to .758). This looks pretty clear to me. Besides, I have a man-crush on Johnny, and he's the only player in baseball history to have the same name as a state. If those aren't criteria for all-star selection then I don't know what is.
- Brian Fuentes, RP, Colorado Rockies: What?! Matt Holliday is already on the roster, az why the hell do you need a Rockies pitcher? And even if you were going to pick one, Jeff Francis is a far better selection. Jesus, how is a guy with a 4.17 ERA an all-star? Allowing men to reach base 32.1% of the time is too much. And for a closer, he doesn't even strike out that many hitters (29 in 36.2 innings). A .734 OPS against for a closer is attrocious, and he has the hightest OPS2 against (1.376) of anyone on the list. It's a good thing the Rockies just replaced him with a new closer. I bet the all-star manager looks like a moron now.
... should be replaced with...
- Chris Young, SP, San Diego Padres: I am absolutely astonished that he's not an all-star. He has the second lowest ERA (2.14) and WHIP (1.09) among starters in the NL. If your job as a pitcher is to allow the fewest amount of batters to reach base, then you really can't do much better than Young; he has the second lowest OBP against (.279), SLG against (.280), and OPS against (.559) among starters in the NL. By the way, the leader in all of these stats is his teammate, Jake Peavy. How the hell is Young not an all-star?!
NL pitching notes: - Let's take a look at Takashi Saito's line: 33.2 IP, 1.34 ERA, 3 Walks (!), 0.72 WHIP, 42 Ks (14 K/BB ratio (!)). Pretty freakin' sweet.
- Cole Hamels has given up 19 HRs in 111.2 innings. Brad Penny, Jake Peavy, and Chris Young have given up seven HRs in 322 innings combined. Wow.
- I almost put El Duque in here, but he's only pitched 74.1 innings this season. Still, his stats are quite good: 2.79 ERA, 1.04 WHIP.
Awesome! Thanks to those who read my longest post ever (3,254 words, not including anything between these parentheses). I breathlessly await your comments.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
DH Outrage
I was inspired to write this post by an article I just read on one of my new favorite websites: hardballtimes.com. The article was about the unevenness in interleague play. Now, interleague play has changed a lot since it started back when I was in Mr. Berkowitz's class in tenth grade. I remember it was that year because I wrote my very best high school essay in that class, and it was about what? You guessed it, interleague play. Anyway, the point of the article on hardballtimes.com was that interleague play is unfair. The example they use compares the Florida Marlins to the Atlanta Braves, who are both in the race for the National League East crown. This season, the Braves had to play six games against the Boston Red Sox (.623 winning percentage), three games against the Detroit Tigers (.592), Minnesota Twins (.513), and Cleveland Indians (.584). Meanwhile, the Marlins were able to play in the sandbox with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays (.434) six times, and with the Cleveland Indians (.584), Kansas City Royals (.418), and Chicago White Sox (.432) three times each. How exactly is that fair?
Anyway, that's not the point of this discussion; I made my interleague rant in a good old fashioned five paragraph essay nine years ago. Here, I would like to discuss the pros and cons of the designated hitter. For the unenlightened (I seem to have written that prepositional phrase several times recently), the American League allows teams to replace their pitchers in their starting lineups with players who will only hit and not play the field (see "Papi, Big" or "Ortiz, David"), while the National League requires their pitchers to bat. This forces National League managers to come up with elaborate ways of avoiding a relatively sure out in key situations, e.g. a double switch. Par exemple, there are two outs in the seventh inning, and Willie Randolph wants to bring in Pedro Feliciano to face a left-handed hitter to get the final out, but he doesn't want to waste him on just one batter; he wants to use Feliciano to at least start the eighth inning. However, Willie doesn't want to have the pitcher bat, and the pitcher's spot in the lineup is coming up second next inning. Az Willie will do a double switch, wherein the seventh batter in the Mets' lineup, Jose Valentin, who made the last out of the previous inning, will be replaced in the lineup with the new pitcher Feliciano, and in the field by Ruben Gotay, who will take John Maine's spot in the lineup. There, not too hard. This doesn't happen in the American League. In fact, it's quite common for an American League lineup to remain the same for the entire game while the pitchers can get switched all the time. Onto the pros and cons (mostly cons)! Well, I sorta only have one minor pro and one major con.
Pro: Good hitting is almost always more exciting than good pitching. Watching the 7-8-9 hitters in a National League game is often a waste of time.
HUGE CON: Let's pretend for a second that the planets align, and Jesus returns once again to save our mortal souls, and the Mets end up meeting the Red Sox in the World Series. (I'm only using the Sox here instead of the Yankees because the Yanks have been inundated with injuries and I have no idea who will be playing DH for them down the road.) When they play at Fenway Park where American League rules apply, the Sox will be able to use their usual lineup, including Kevin Youkilis at first base, and Big Papi at DH. Meanwhile the Mets will be forced to use one of these scrubs: 712 year old Julio Franco, Damian Easley, Ricky Ledee, Ramon Castro, and the aforementioned Ruben Gotay. Now, when they play at Shea, both pitchers will bat, while Big Papi will probably play first, and Youk will either play out of position or come off the bench. Basically, the point of the argument is that all American League rosters have a DH built into them, while it would be a colossal waste of money for an NL team to carry an extra guy like that (those DH's rates are pretendous. See Fan Costume Commentary from '03 on homestarrunner.com). Anyway, I think this scenario gives American League teams a more than negligible advantage over NL teams when they play at their home parks.
If anyone wants to argue with me, please do so; I can't wait to have an answer for every criticism you throw at me. Man, I love arguing about baseball.
Anyway, that's not the point of this discussion; I made my interleague rant in a good old fashioned five paragraph essay nine years ago. Here, I would like to discuss the pros and cons of the designated hitter. For the unenlightened (I seem to have written that prepositional phrase several times recently), the American League allows teams to replace their pitchers in their starting lineups with players who will only hit and not play the field (see "Papi, Big" or "Ortiz, David"), while the National League requires their pitchers to bat. This forces National League managers to come up with elaborate ways of avoiding a relatively sure out in key situations, e.g. a double switch. Par exemple, there are two outs in the seventh inning, and Willie Randolph wants to bring in Pedro Feliciano to face a left-handed hitter to get the final out, but he doesn't want to waste him on just one batter; he wants to use Feliciano to at least start the eighth inning. However, Willie doesn't want to have the pitcher bat, and the pitcher's spot in the lineup is coming up second next inning. Az Willie will do a double switch, wherein the seventh batter in the Mets' lineup, Jose Valentin, who made the last out of the previous inning, will be replaced in the lineup with the new pitcher Feliciano, and in the field by Ruben Gotay, who will take John Maine's spot in the lineup. There, not too hard. This doesn't happen in the American League. In fact, it's quite common for an American League lineup to remain the same for the entire game while the pitchers can get switched all the time. Onto the pros and cons (mostly cons)! Well, I sorta only have one minor pro and one major con.
Pro: Good hitting is almost always more exciting than good pitching. Watching the 7-8-9 hitters in a National League game is often a waste of time.
HUGE CON: Let's pretend for a second that the planets align, and Jesus returns once again to save our mortal souls, and the Mets end up meeting the Red Sox in the World Series. (I'm only using the Sox here instead of the Yankees because the Yanks have been inundated with injuries and I have no idea who will be playing DH for them down the road.) When they play at Fenway Park where American League rules apply, the Sox will be able to use their usual lineup, including Kevin Youkilis at first base, and Big Papi at DH. Meanwhile the Mets will be forced to use one of these scrubs: 712 year old Julio Franco, Damian Easley, Ricky Ledee, Ramon Castro, and the aforementioned Ruben Gotay. Now, when they play at Shea, both pitchers will bat, while Big Papi will probably play first, and Youk will either play out of position or come off the bench. Basically, the point of the argument is that all American League rosters have a DH built into them, while it would be a colossal waste of money for an NL team to carry an extra guy like that (those DH's rates are pretendous. See Fan Costume Commentary from '03 on homestarrunner.com). Anyway, I think this scenario gives American League teams a more than negligible advantage over NL teams when they play at their home parks.
If anyone wants to argue with me, please do so; I can't wait to have an answer for every criticism you throw at me. Man, I love arguing about baseball.
A Couple More and Another Bizarre Anecdote
Somehow I managed to get some feedback from my last post on my facebook wall. See, this puts me in a bit of a quandary, because I definitely want to transmit what that person said, but by doing so, I would be violating one of the primary statutes of this blog. Quite the conundrum in which you've put me, young lady I barely know. I have it! I'll just hide the wall post so no one will be able to see it. Anywho, the things she suggested I add to my ever-growing list of brand-name products are as follows: Scotch Tape and Chapstick. Now, I associate Scotch Tape only with the clear kind of adhesive, although I'm quite certain they make other forms, like masking tape, painting tape, and electrical tape. But everyone calls the clear stuff "Scotch Tape." I don't even think I need to mention that nobody in their right mind would ever ask if they could borrow some lip balm. What do you think?
Now this anecdote took place a few hours ago in the big Aitch at the Ar-Aitch-Ar's where a bunch of us were watching "Az You Think You Can Dance." At one point, our hostess asked the other girls there what size shoes they wear. As it turned out, she bought a pair of shoes that fit her well at the store, but didn't fit so well once she got home. They ended up fitting her friend perfectly, az she sold them to her. The first thing I thought was "there's no way that would ever happen with guys." I just can't imagine a scenario in which I would buy some gym shoes and then sell them to my friend. It was pure comedy. Anyway, I'm pleased that Hok and Jaime received rave reviews for their bizarrely choreographed quasi-jazz routine. Hopefully they'll be safe tomorrow night. Layla Tov.
Now this anecdote took place a few hours ago in the big Aitch at the Ar-Aitch-Ar's where a bunch of us were watching "Az You Think You Can Dance." At one point, our hostess asked the other girls there what size shoes they wear. As it turned out, she bought a pair of shoes that fit her well at the store, but didn't fit so well once she got home. They ended up fitting her friend perfectly, az she sold them to her. The first thing I thought was "there's no way that would ever happen with guys." I just can't imagine a scenario in which I would buy some gym shoes and then sell them to my friend. It was pure comedy. Anyway, I'm pleased that Hok and Jaime received rave reviews for their bizarrely choreographed quasi-jazz routine. Hopefully they'll be safe tomorrow night. Layla Tov.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
A New One
Remember my post from October 12th about brands that have cornered the market on particular products? Here's the link: http://schmuttblog.blogspot.com/2006/10/funny-anecdote-and-thoughts-about.html
Anyway, I was just discussing with my friend that I need to get new wheels for my roller blades, and it occurred to me that this is another example. Rollerblade is actually a registered trademark brand name of inline skates. And nobody, but nobody, ever refers to inline skates as "inline skates." Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY just calls them "Roller Blades." Kudos to their marketing department.
And speaking of bestowing praise on marketing departments, aren't the bus advertisements for "Live Free Die Hard" the best ones you've ever seen? For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, the ad is a black background with white text saying "YIPPEE KI YAY M(" with a bible type reference below it that says "John 6:27." Absolutely brilliant! "Yippee ki yay mother-f**ker" was John McClane's catchphrase from the original Die Hard, which incidentally is one of the two movies I know mamash by heart (the other being the first Matrix). And obviously the "6:27" refers to the opening date. Few ads have ever gotten me as excited as that one. Can't wait for Wednesday night. I'm positively giddy.
Anyway, I was just discussing with my friend that I need to get new wheels for my roller blades, and it occurred to me that this is another example. Rollerblade is actually a registered trademark brand name of inline skates. And nobody, but nobody, ever refers to inline skates as "inline skates." Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY just calls them "Roller Blades." Kudos to their marketing department.
And speaking of bestowing praise on marketing departments, aren't the bus advertisements for "Live Free Die Hard" the best ones you've ever seen? For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, the ad is a black background with white text saying "YIPPEE KI YAY M(" with a bible type reference below it that says "John 6:27." Absolutely brilliant! "Yippee ki yay mother-f**ker" was John McClane's catchphrase from the original Die Hard, which incidentally is one of the two movies I know mamash by heart (the other being the first Matrix). And obviously the "6:27" refers to the opening date. Few ads have ever gotten me as excited as that one. Can't wait for Wednesday night. I'm positively giddy.
In Support of Traditional Baseball Statistics
Now, as many of you know, I am a staunch supporter of progressive thinking in baseball. I recently reread "Moneyball" by Michael Lewis (which I have to return to my friend before he kills me), and now more than ever I still can't understand why Sabermetric statistics aren't more popular. For the unenlightened, "Sabermetrics" comes from "SABR," which is an acronym for The Society of American Baseball Research. Members of this brotherhood, founded by the immortal Bill James himself, have devoted themselves to creating a new system for determining the value of each and every action on a baseball field. To them, the most important traditional baseball statistics are On-Base Percentage, determined by adding together hits and walks, and then dividing that by at-bats plus walks, and Slugging Percentage, which is determined by dividing total bases by at-bats. By factoring these two statistics into various equations, they have created brand new statistics, which are intended to evaluate players as accurately as possible. Among these new statistics are VORP (Value Over Replacement Player, in terms of cumulative runs), WARP3 (Wins Above Replacement Player, in terms of cumulative wins), OPS+ (On-Base + Slugging as compared to the league average, taking into account the stadium and the era), BABIP (Batting Average on Balls In Play, excluding strikeouts and home runs), and for fielding, FRAA (Fielding Runs Above Average, in terms of cumulative runs). These statistics minimize, or even eliminate any reliability on team performance, which is in direct contrast to traditional statistics such as Runs Batted In, and Runs Scored. Az in this day and age, in the post-modern era, why are the statistics we see the most still the standard Batting Average, Runs Batted In, Stolen Bases, Runs Scored, Home Runs, etc.? Whatever the answer is, I've come up with my own reasons:
1. As an avid fan of Fantasy Baseball, these traditional statistics are essential. The average fan doesn't have the tools to be able to calculate most of the new-fangled ones. If I had my way, I would create a fantasy league in which the only batting statistics would be HRs, OBP, OPS, SLG, and Walks. But those stats are essentially all the same, az it would be meaningless. RBI, AVG, and SBs add more strategy; a below-average player like Juan Pierre, who hits 0 HRs, only hits singles, never walks, and steals a ton of bases, becomes a huge fantasy commodity. Fantasy Baseball is just more fun when you account for all of these stats.
2. The baseball records are some of the most hallowed numbers in all of sports. 73, 755, .420, and 191 are numbers that have lives of their own (For the unenlightened, 73 is the single season Home Run record held by Barry Bonds, 755 is the career Home Run record held by Henry Aaron, .420 is the single season Batting Average record held by Ty Cobb, and 191 is the single season RBI record held by Hack Wilson). If we were to start minimizing the importance of these traditional numbers, we would be minimizing the greatness of the feats of those players.
3. If we only paid attention to WARP3, VORP, and FRAA, then the winners of awards like Most Valuable Player and the Gold Glove would cease to be determined by votes. They would easily be given to the players who were tops in these categories. I'm not saying this is a bad thing; I just think it would minimize the excitement.
Anyway, we'll return to regular Schmutter inanity shortly.
1. As an avid fan of Fantasy Baseball, these traditional statistics are essential. The average fan doesn't have the tools to be able to calculate most of the new-fangled ones. If I had my way, I would create a fantasy league in which the only batting statistics would be HRs, OBP, OPS, SLG, and Walks. But those stats are essentially all the same, az it would be meaningless. RBI, AVG, and SBs add more strategy; a below-average player like Juan Pierre, who hits 0 HRs, only hits singles, never walks, and steals a ton of bases, becomes a huge fantasy commodity. Fantasy Baseball is just more fun when you account for all of these stats.
2. The baseball records are some of the most hallowed numbers in all of sports. 73, 755, .420, and 191 are numbers that have lives of their own (For the unenlightened, 73 is the single season Home Run record held by Barry Bonds, 755 is the career Home Run record held by Henry Aaron, .420 is the single season Batting Average record held by Ty Cobb, and 191 is the single season RBI record held by Hack Wilson). If we were to start minimizing the importance of these traditional numbers, we would be minimizing the greatness of the feats of those players.
3. If we only paid attention to WARP3, VORP, and FRAA, then the winners of awards like Most Valuable Player and the Gold Glove would cease to be determined by votes. They would easily be given to the players who were tops in these categories. I'm not saying this is a bad thing; I just think it would minimize the excitement.
Anyway, we'll return to regular Schmutter inanity shortly.
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